To have productive and successful conversations, you must remember these four important points:
1) Keep your eyes on the person you are talking to.
2) Adjust your tone so that it is understood.
3) Keep to the topic at hand.
4) Don’t talk in circles; that never gets anyone anywhere.
These four tips are not just simple hallway conversation suggestions; they’re essentials of successful conversation, no matter what kind of conversation you’re trying to have.
It’s easy to get distracted from the person you’re talking to when there are other people and things changing in the room. When you’re having a conversation and your gaze wanders, it can make the other person feel as though they don’t have your full attention. Camera phones, video games and TV can easily pull at our attention away from someone who is right in front of us. If you want to hold a conversation, you need to keep your attention on the other person by looking directly into their eyes, listening closely and being observant of what they are saying.
When talking with people, good communication does not just rely on the words you are saying; it also requires good listening skills. If you’re trying to have a conversation about a book that doesn’t interest you, then listening is going to be hard since you don’t want to hear what the other person has to say. But when we are interested in what someone else is saying, we listen intently—we do not get distracted by every little thing that happens around us.
No conversation will ever progress in a circle if you keep cycling through the same topics over and over again. If the two of you were friends, it might be acceptable; but when someone is trying to tell you something new, stay focused and show them that you are interested in what they have to say.
This doesn’t mean that one-worded answers such as “yes” or “no” are acceptable—it just means that a conversation shouldn’t feel like an interrogation with a prosecutor who won’t stop asking questions. When someone is trying to tell you something and they get cut off by your next question, it just makes them feel like they have no air time and no way to go on in their story.
Finally, if you find yourself in a conversation about a subject that you know little about, make sure not to talk in circles—that’s just as frustrating for the person presenting the information as it is for you. If you have no experience in the topic, either change the subject or have someone who does know show you how it works. If you’re meeting someone for the first time and you walk over to them with a list of three questions all about fashion, they might feel uncomfortable talking about it. Instead, address each topic as if you know what you’re talking about.
Four Conversation Tips: Keep Your Eyes on the Person You Are Talking To
It is absolutely essential to keep your eyes on the person you are communicating with. If your gaze drifts away from theirs, they will feel as though they do not have your full attention, and their story will stop flowing. This is one of those cases where not bringing steno pads to a conversation can come back to bite you twice over—in both embarrassment and in disappointment.