While we're all different, one thing most of us have in common is a desire for acceptance. But what if this need for approval starts to hold you back? What if it's discouraging you from even trying?
If that sounds like you, keep reading to find out about 4 simple ways in which to get over your need for acceptance and finally get on with your life.
Needing to be accepted can feel like a chronic condition. If you're one of the many people who feel like they are always walking on eggshells, letting others make all the decisions for you, and giving them the power to hurt you without your say so, this might be something that you need to address.
Needing approval from others doesn't automatically make you a needy person. But if your need for acceptance consistently leads you to do things that hurt yourself and others, then it is time for a change. There are four simple ways in which you can get over your need for acceptance and get on with your life so that you no longer feel like an outcast from the very society that is supposed to accept us.
1) Give up on the need for acceptance. Try not to care if anyone accepts you. Allow yourself to be yourself and strive towards what you want out of life, while not making a deal with your higher-self to please everyone else. This is called being self-centered and is usually a sign that you are trying too hard to get others to accept you. It's also a sign that you feel like an outcast because most people don't want to be accepted by everyone, so they feel insecure and even rejected when someone doesn't accept them or gives them less than ideal treatment because of who they are or what they stand for.
2) Do something that you are truly passionate about. This might be less glamorous than getting your picture on the cover of a magazine or getting a lot of write-ups in tabloids, but it's the kind of "coolness" that people respect and admire. Starting your own business, taking up a new hobby or achieving something awesome you have always wanted is an excellent way to get over your need for acceptance. These are things that make you stand out in an extraordinary way and attract attention from others.
3) Find someone who accepts you just the way you are and build a friendship with them. This is where relationships come in. Rather than trying to get someone's approval, build a relationship with someone who feels secure with you in your own skin. Compliment each other rather than critiquing each other and feel secure in knowing that the person you are getting involved with doesn't need your approval to love and care for you.
4) Let go of the need for perfection. You will never be perfect. So stop trying to be something that you're not just so that people will like you more. Instead, take up a hobby and pursue it passionately. Whether you are a writer, a painter or a sculptor, the love of your craft is something that you can share with others who truly understand your passion for what you do.
Remember to not make yourself always available to everyone. Take time for yourself and prioritize your life into work, family and yourself. Know that if you make mistakes in life, there are people out there who will still love and accept you unconditionally.
It's only when we give ourselves up to others that we become emotionally unavailable to ourselves — not because we don't want to be emotionally available but because we're afraid of being rejected by those closest to us.