We’ve all had those days where it feels like nothing is going right. Your favorite shirt shrunk in the wash, you accidentally spent $50 at the grocery store, and then your boss called out sick for the day—it’s enough to put anyone in a bad mood. But here’s a secret: relationships can have just as much of an impact on your mood as bad family dynamics or a terrible job.
In fact, research has shown that people who live in close relationships have lower levels of stress and anxiety than those who don’t.1
So why do we forget to make time for close relationships when everything else in our lives is stressing us out? We can help ourselves by simply making a few changes to our routine now and then, like prioritizing socializing with our friends or family over the usual tasks like chores or watching TV.
While we may all feel trapped under this too-busy-to-breathe weight from time to time, it actually doesn’t have to be that way. Here are some tips to help you make time for closeness in your relationships and find joy in those relationships:
1. Say “No” More Often
It’s hard to say no, especially when it means disappointing someone else or not being able to do something you enjoy. But that doesn’t mean you have to say yes every time someone asks something of you. Take a few seconds to think about whether saying yes is going to be best for you (time-wise, not emotionally). If it isn’t, then just politely decline and see if there is another way for them to get what they want without your help.
Make a commitment to yourself that you will say no more often. Once you get in the habit, it’s easy to continue.
2. Spend More Time With Close Friends and Family
One way you can make time for closeness is by spending more time with close friends and family. This can be on a daily or weekly basis as long as your schedule allows for it. The important thing is to make sure you aren’t emailing, texting, or calling all day with the people who are part of your close relationships, otherwise they will feel neglected and let their guard down (and so will you).
You might find that you get so wrapped up in your life that you don’t have time to hang out. If this is the case, then taking the time to make some challenges like a game night with friends or watching a movie with your family is a great way to make sure closeness doesn’t break down.
3. Schedule Some Free Time For Yourself
Before you know it, you will be so busy doing all of these other things that there just won’t be enough time for yourself and your relationships. If this happens, make sure that you set aside some time for yourself to do something fun: go on a walk with a friend or read a book.
4. Make Some Changes to Your Routine
If you find that even when you schedule time for friends and family, you still spend most of your time at work engaging with your coworkers, it might be time to make some changes to your routine. You can start small by saying no more often or setting aside some free time for yourself. This will help you feel more relaxed and in control of your life and allow you to actually enjoy the people around you.
Above all else, we often forget that relationships are just as important as a bad shirt or a poor boss—because they make us happy.