It's very difficult not to look foolish when you're trying to make small talk with people at a party or meeting for the first time. After all, it's awkward and sometimes impossible to get a conversation going. Really, the only thing worse than oversharing is not sharing at all. So what can you do to avoid looking awkward? Here are four ways that might help!
- Never swerve into bizarre topics of conversation if they don't come naturally. For instance, if someone brings up the weather, just say "it's been nice" without adding an unnecessary personal anecdote about your day. Maybe stay away from a small talk topic like "what's your favorite movie?" If you find yourself asking about people's families or pets, save that for some other time.
- If you do happen to accidentally start a conversation about something that doesn't come naturally, on the bright side, there are plenty of topics to choose from. Obviously, the first things to go are personal questions like ages and children. The second is knowing how to say things like "how was your weekend" or "thanks for coming" that flatter people. Also avoid awkward family topics such as whether you have children or what problems they have.
- If you are going to ask about someone's job, just say "I'm a teacher" or "I work in the city" instead of try to make it sound as interesting or unique as possible. You don't want to risk sounding boring and dull.
- Make sure that you are not the one who brings up topics that might seem weird, such as politics, philosophy or sports. If someone asks you a question about your weekend, just say "yes," then rush right into the next topic.
- Always keep an eye out for colleagues around you. And if you do end up talking with them at a party, don't feel embarrassed to randomly make small talk on their behalf. It's much better than having them feel awkward.
- Finally, remember that no one has any interest in knowing your "big" news or anything personal about you. So don't even try to talk about it. Just keep your conversations focused on what's going on in the room, not on you!
The way to avoid being boring is to never act as if you think people want to hear what you have to say. The first step is saying the right things at the right time, which means that everything must come back around to making a good impression on others. This is done by remembering certain points:
- Being interesting isn't a matter of having an astounding wit or being full of jokes. It's more about being attentive and knowing what interests other people. For example, if someone is talking about his or her job, ask questions that elicit a response like, "really? What was the best part?" You can also always follow their lead by asking specific questions ("so what did you do?").
- Avoid trying to always be charming or witty. As much as possible, simply listen to what others are saying. In turn, they will be drawn to you with the sense that you are a good listener. This is a much better way of making people like you than trying to say things that make them laugh.
- Don't try to be interesting by sharing as much information about yourself as possible. People lose interest when you act like you're on stage and everybody is there just for your benefit.
- Avoid being too dramatic or making a big deal out of everything . Instead of saying "I went to the gym today," just say "I worked out" or tell people what type of workout it was.