Compliments can be really tough, especially when you've made a point to never ask for them. If you’re looking for a way to show that it's time for you to stop being so hard on yourself, take a look at this article on how to accept compliments graciously. With these 5 steps, the process becomes that much easier and the feeling of accomplishment that much sweeter!
1) Be appreciative of the person who said something nice about you.
2) Accept responsibility graciously when appropriate in return.
3) Don't pretend to be something that you aren't, or to be better than you are.
4) Be mindful of context as soon as possible.
5) Make yourself available for saying a thank-you in person.
So let's get started on how to accept compliments graciously and reach out those who have spoken to you with a compliment, so you can convey your acceptance of their kind words.
You owe it to the person who said something nice about you, particularly if you asked for the compliment or for the criticism in order to improve yourself. Even if what was said wasn’t that direct, but it was thought-provoking, try to give them a genuine "thank-you." This first part is crucial because it shows that you were listening and makes the person feel good about speaking with you. It’s a step in the right direction to accepting compliments graciously.
Now it’s time to show that you accept responsibility for the praise. If the compliment relates to your actions, it is easy; otherwise, it can be more difficult. However, if you have something you need to improve and the person praises you for something that you need improvement in, then there is a chance to show them how much they have helped and how much they mean to you by accepting responsibility graciously. The way that you accept responsibility will depend on the type of compliment and criticism that was given, so don't worry about knowing exactly what to say before-hand — simply being aware of context clues is enough.
After you've done all of the above, try not to pretend to be something that you aren't. No matter what it is that you're doing, there's a good chance that you're better than you think (or at least as good as the person who said it). The way that you perceive yourself may be skewed in a way that makes you think of yourself as not-great, but your real self will always be better than that. For this reason, proving to the other person how great you are means making sure they know it's okay for them to say so about your abilities and shortcomings.
Now let’s talk about context (and why context matters!). If the person isn’t aware that your actions were a consequence of a previous compliment, she may not be able to accept that and may think you are lying or misinterpret the nature of the situation. This is where we come into play; you have to make sure that those who criticize you understand why their statements of praise were untrue.
Take this opportunity to remind them of what they said in order to help them understand that their words should not be taken as praise. Say something like, "I realize I should have paid attention when you told me that…but since it was right after everything else, I didn't know what you were talking about.