Are You Chasing the Elusive Butterfly of Happiness?
Are you chasing the elusive butterfly of happiness?
Happy people are successful, rich, and have a lot of friends. The unfortunate truth is, though, that not everyone has a joyous life. Many people spend their days fighting for happiness. They worry about money when they already have enough and cling onto relationships when they should let them go.
The key to overcoming your happiness struggle is to learn how to stop wasting your energy on things that don't matter in the long run. "Learning how to let go" can be difficult because we value our possessions so highly. However, when you look at your life as a whole, it's unlikely that any material possession is worth sacrificing your peace of mind.
Here are 10 things to let go in order to find happiness:
1. Stop being negative about your past and future. If you're dwelling on regrets or worries, then you've stopped living in the present. Focusing on negative aspects of the past or future makes you negative in the present which will certainly affect your mood and energy levels. The present moment is all you have and anything else is just baggage that will hold you back from happiness. Let go of the past because it no longer exists – it's already gone. Moreover, the future is never here until it's here. Appreciate the present moment and make peace with the past so you can live fully in today.
2. Stop replaying conversations in your head. Whether it's a fight you had with a friend or family member or an awkward phone call, your mind will constantly go back to a painful conversation and replay it over and over again. This can be detrimental to your happiness because you'll be preoccupied with negative emotions rather than enjoying something productive or fun. It's best to let go of thoughts that have already happened because they can't be changed anyway – so why not give your mind time to think of something more positive?
3. Stop worrying about what other people are thinking of you. When you think too much about how people see you or what they do or say, it can feel like a weight on your chest – making it harder to breathe. Are they saying nice things or bad things? Is their behaviour changing? Are they becoming close friends with someone else? Are they thinking of leaving me – is this the beginning of the end? These types of thoughts don't give you energy because they are so negative; if you let go, your mind will be able to focus on more positive things that make a difference in your day to day life.
4. Stop trying to control other people and events in your life. Trying to control others or the world around you may seem like the "right" thing to do but it will only create stress, anxiety and worry. Your actions and reactions are dependent on your beliefs and attitude – not other people's. Accepting your circumstances instead of viewing them as a curse will make you more relaxed as you'll be able to live in the moment.
5. Stop being an overachiever; if something feels good, do it because that's how life should be lived without regrets. Stop working so hard to impress others and work to please yourself. Live your life according to what makes you happy while indulging in the things that make you feel good in the moment. Don't worry about being 'unworthy' or not living up to your expectations, as that will only add stress and anxiety for no reason.
6. Stop keeping up with other people's activities because this will only put pressure on you and make you feel incredibly uncomfortable when someone else is more popular or successful than you are. Do whatever makes you feel good right now and stop trying to conform to things that don't truly matter in the long run. People will find out anyway, so why bother?
7. Stop allowing your work to control your life. At times our work may seem full of meaning and importance which makes it difficult to accept that our success isn't dependent on the job we do anymore. The truth is, our success is really only dependent on how much we love what we do. That being said, a job can be a blessing because it allows us to provide for our family and take care of ourselves without needing to worry about money; but don't get too dependent on your career because it doesn't last forever – at some point you'll have to let it go because staying in a job that no longer suits you will only make you unhappy.
8. Stop worrying about what other people think. Worrying about whether people approve of your actions or think you're 'right' is a waste of time; it steals your pleasure and happiness away. This may seem harsh but life will go on regardless, we just have to deal with the consequences of our actions. If you put others first, they'll come around – they always do! Give yourself permission to live your life the way you want because the happiness you seek will inevitably come to you.
9. Stop avoiding things that make you uncomfortable in order to feel better about yourself. Avoiding something you don't want to face isn't going to make it go away. It will just make you feel bad about yourself for being so weak and fearful. Face your fears and make peace with them before they take over your life. When you make peace with what scares you, the world becomes a more positive place overall.
10. Stop trying to be someone else because it's only bringing distress and unease into your life. Stop trying to be somebody else even if you think they have it all figured out. Stop comparing your life with another person's – no one in this world has their life figured out so it's pointless to compare your own. Instead, focus on what makes you feel good in the moment and the positive things that are taking place.
Self-love is the beginning of a positive journey which will result in increased self-esteem, self-confidence, happiness and contentment thus making you feel full of life! Look after yourself and don't put too much pressure on yourself because it could be detrimental to your health and well-being in the long run.
Conclusion
Be the person who you want to be! If you want others to treat you with love and respect, give it to yourself first. Put your needs first and take care of your mental well-being as this is the only way your life will get better – so what are you waiting for? Become the best version of yourself by doing less and giving more attention to your own needs.
Photo by Matt on Unsplash
Author: Owais Hameed Owais Hameed is a blogger, reader, thinker and a freelance writer too. Blogging since 2007! He is interested in psychology, human behavior and personal development.