When it comes to personal development, there are few things as important nor as difficult as taking control of one's life. It doesn't matter whether the goal is to lose weight or become more productive, so long as the person in question doesn't completely take responsibility for their own life, they will most likely never achieve it.
Most people don't truly understand this concept because they think that any outer change can be a solution to their inner problems. This couldn't be further from the truth because an outside change won't do anything about your mindset and how you're feeling internally.
That's why I want to go into depth here and explain the difference between your mindset and how you're feeling. When I say "how you're feeling", I don't mean emotions. Instead, if we're talking about personal development, then it can be in regard to feelings of dissatisfaction and unhappiness as well as a lack of motivation.
The first thing that most people think about when it comes to mindset is positive self-talk. They believe that if they consistently tell themselves positive things such as: "I'm going to accomplish X this year" or "I'm going to get a raise at my job" that this will give them a positive mindset.
Most of the time this doesn't work simply because people often don't actually believe any of what they're saying; they just say it because they think that it will give them a positive mindset.
This brings us to the next method and one that I personally use when I'm talking about mindset: learning from examples. When I talk about examples, I'm not talking about books that you read or documentaries that you watch. Instead, what I mean are real life examples.
The reason why this works is because there's something called relevance in our minds which causes us to believe things based on how things are similar to other things we've experienced or have heard about in the past.
I'm going to provide you with a few examples now:
A man walks through the woods and comes across an abandoned shed. He walks in and discovers a forklift inside of it. He thinks to himself, "Wow, there's so much cool stuff that I can do with this!" Now this is an example of some type of relevance in our minds. It corresponds to something we know about or have experienced in the past, which is why we're able to understand what he's talking about when he says that he can do so many things with the forklift because we've also seen/heard about this before . . .
. . . In this particular example, the man knows that he can do many things with the forklift--he can drive it, lift heavy objects with it, use it to build things, etc. However, all of these things are irrelevant to him because this has absolutely nothing to do with him or his daily needs and habits. That's why he wouldn't consider doing any of these things because he can't relate to this at all.
Now let's take a look at another example:
A man who is in great shape drives his car and suddenly notices that his oil light is on. He thinks to himself, "I guess I need some new oil. This is what I'm going to have to do so that my motor doesn't blow up."
Once again, this is an example of some type of relevance in our minds. It corresponds to something we know about or have experienced in the past, which is why we're able to understand what he's talking about when he says that he needs new oil because we've also seen/heard about this before . . .
. . . In this particular example, the man knows that if he doesn't change his oil, then his motor will explode and cause him to be stranded and most likely lose control of his vehicle and get into an accident. That's why he doesn't think about fixing his oil because he knows that this doesn't have anything to do with him or his daily habits and routines.
Now let's look at another example:
A guy who is in great shape agrees to get married to a woman who does not exercise. After they get married, he starts taking her on walks, jogs with her, and all of the sudden she becomes pregnant. (By the way, I was going to talk about baby making for six pages straight. Believe me, you don't want to read that right now. I'm being serious. Trust me, I've made my money off of books like this. If you're into "bio-blitzes", then this is the book for you.)
In this particular example, the man knows that he has to get in shape. He knows that if he doesn't do anything about it then his wife will be fat and ugly and will no longer be considered attractive by society, which is why he's going through such great efforts to get in shape and start exercising so that he can impress his wife without doing anything drastic like killing himself or hurting her or their baby . . .
. . . In this particular example, the man knows that if he doesn't get in shape then his wife won't be attracted to him and that could cause problems in their relationship, thus hurting himself and their baby in the process because they might get into a fight.
When you take all of these examples and "re-create" them with yourself then you will always be able to make sure that your every action is relevant to your everyday life. In other words, when you make a decision, you should logically be able to tell yourself why you're doing it:
A healthy diet (this is an example) for someone who works out on a regular basis (this is another example).
Finally, I'd like to talk about how people's mindset can be just as important as their physical and mental health. We all know how people say that they have a busy schedule or are simply too tired to work out. The thing is, we all tell ourselves this on an almost daily basis. If you do the same thing that so many other people do then it's inevitable that your mind will start to get "used" to it and eventually it will become your way of thinking.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't do the things that you enjoy doing or that you should do all of the things that are on your to-do list. I'm simply saying that if you want to be at your very best throughout your life then it's important for you to make sure that everything you do either contributes something positive towards . . .
Your health and fitness goals. Your mental and emotional well being. Your finances, relationships, family and friends. And of course, your other overall goals as well!
You must also understand that over time, most people stubbornly refuse to learn how to adjust their mindset in order to achieve these other goals.
I don't know why this is but perhaps their minds tell them that it's not worth it to learn how to adjust their mindset because they're not willing to actually go through all of the work to get where they want to be. Whatever the case may be, the bottom line is that if you want to change your life then you must take control of your mind first.
Here are some ways in which you can do this:
Pray at least three times a day. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what an amazing person who is and what a beautiful life that you have. Tell yourself that you can do and be whatever you want to be. Tell yourself that your worth is not determined by the things that other people think of you. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, unique, kind, caring and intelligent each and every day of your life! Simply tell yourself these things!
Re-read any or all of the books written by Napoleon Hill in his classic "Think and Grow Rich". Although some of the information in the book is dated (his advice on writing is a perfect example), there are still huge portions of this book that are relevant to us today.
It's been said that the best way to change your life is to make sure that you are happy with where you are. If you're not happy with where you are then you will never be able to achieve what you want from life.
You can't have the things in life that you want if you're complaining about what is going on around you. You'll never have a Happy Hour because no one will invite you over for a drink, and if they do, then they won't invite anyone else.