What is life all about?
For some, it’s just a series of days that flash by. For others, it’s a lifelong journey. For many of us, it’s something in-between. Our lives are like an ocean wave crashing against the shore and then receding back into the sea — coming to rest until the next time we rise up again. We are all on different paths and follow our own way through this world; there is no single path that leads from A to Z. It’s been said: what you do with your life is less important than how you live your life (and who you live it with).
In other words, life is what you make of it. And the only limits are the ones you place on yourself.
Getting to follow your dreams is not an easy process. It took me a long time to realize that I didn’t necessarily want to be a lawyer as I had initially planned when going to college, and that being a writer was something I wanted to pursue (in addition to living in Paris and having my own fashion line…but we’ll get there). Dreams change: they evolve from our childhood fantasies into the proper ambitions of adulthood. There are many reasons why we might not be able to reach or follow our dreams, but fear is one of the biggest inhibitors for most people.
Fear is a natural emotion that we all have to some degree. It can also be an incredibly useful emotion. Alarm bells in our minds go off when we’re near a cliff and tell us not to walk too close because we might fall off, or when we see a bear on the hiking trail and are warned of its presence so that we don’t wander directly into its path. But in some cases, especially with the things that really matter most to us, fear can get out of control — it can paralyze us so that all we do is stand back and watch life pass us by, or it can consume us so much that we hide away in our comfort zones never even trying to venture outside them. Fear can, in these instances, rob us of all the wonderful things that life has to offer.
To be sure, we all have different fears. The following is a list of five of the most common types of fears we all face at some point in our lives:
Fear of failure — The fear that we won’t succeed and will fail miserably if we try to turn our dreams into reality is one that many people struggle with. It’s a fear I personally deal with all the time, when I consider going after something that is difficult or challenging or requires patience and persistence. For example, I’ve always wanted to spend time in India, and have many friends I could invite over for a trip. I used to tell myself it would never happen because of my fear of failure, but as time has passed, that fear has lessened.
Fear of success — You know this one: the fear that we won’t be good enough (or happy enough) if we really try to reach our maximum potential; the fear that we might be putting ourselves out there completely unprepared because we don’t believe in ourselves enough. We worry about being judged and how people might see us if they know what we want to do. And if we’re not strong enough to overcome this fear, then we run the risk of never trying at all.
Fear of change — This is the fear that deep down, we really don’t want to change our lives and how we spend our time and energy. We are comfortable with the way things are now and are afraid that if we start to make changes, they will upset the status quo. We want what’s comfortable; even though it might be painful and limiting.
Fear of success (and failure) — This is a very real fear that stems from being too timid in life. We choose mediocrity because it feels safer than reaching for greatness.
Fear of the unknown — The fear of not knowing what could happen to us if we really tried to change our lives is a real one. We don’t want to make ourselves vulnerable, and we’re afraid that if we push ourselves too hard, something bad might happen. We don’t want to be rejected and hurt by other people. It’s hard for us to believe that things are going to get better if only we try hard enough.
Fear is a powerful emotion and can, sometimes, paralyze all our actions — it can also cause us to stay stuck in situations that aren’t good for us just because it feels familiar and comfortable (even when they aren’t). But the more we learn about our fears and how to overcome them, the more we discover that we have all the potential in the world. And if we know what makes us afraid, then we can use it as a resource to make decisions that are less likely to be influenced by these fears.
It’s not easy to see yourself or your dreams big when you may be stuck in a small or unfulfilling life. It’s important for us all to realize that our dreams are not only possible – they’re attainable, and that is a powerful tool for staying motivated in the face of fear and doubt. For me, getting to follow my dreams is not just a matter of deciding what I want and setting goals to get it; it’s also about knowing that I might fail in the end. It’s about understanding that even if I try and lose sight of my dreams, there’s nothing so terrible about returning to where I am now — because there are things in life that are more important than success or failure (family, friends, health, and living your life the way you want), and we shouldn’t risk losing these things by allowing ourselves to be swallowed up by fear.