Keeping Others Happy At Every Cost
The idea of keeping people happy at all costs might seem like a good one, when in reality it’s anything but good. Here are just some of the ways that keeping others happy can actually make them miserable and hostile to you.
1. The guilt that comes from thinking you're somehow obligated to keep everyone around you content will lead to a lack of self-care for both yourself and your relationships with those around you.
2. Keeping other people happy will often require you to repress your own needs. This will often result in a defensive or hostile attitude towards those around you and make it difficult for you to feel loving and loving-kindness towards them.
3. Keeping everyone around you satisfied always means that you'll never be able to live up to their expectations or fully express yourself. This is because the very thing that they're demanding of you is that which they have the least amount of resources at their disposal for making happen… themselves.
4. People who are constantly keeping others content literally freeze themselves from growing and learning – even when this means cutting themselves off from being able to take advantage of opportunities that might otherwise develop throughout their lives..
5. Keeping people happy sometimes means you have to accept their habits, addictions and behaviours. For example, if they smoke, drink too much or spend excessively on themselves…
6. Keeping people happy often requires you to do things that are at best unproductive and at worst damaging to your health and well-being. This includes work that isn't enjoyable but is necessary to keep the people around you happy; work that might be tedious or repetitive; work that is long-term (in terms of hours worked) but never fully appreciated for all the hard work that it takes to get it done.
7. Keeping others around you happy will always mean missing out on opportunities for personal growth and great personal accomplishment in your own life . This is because you're constantly focusing on the others around you and how they feel at any given moment, instead of focusing on how you feel and how to make your own life better.
8. Keeping people happy requires that you're always sacrificing yourself and your own needs in favour of others. This will only serve to make you feel as though you have no demands or needs of your own… thus you'll cease to experience a sense of self… instead all that's left is a shell that other people are able to project their wants, needs, expectations and desires onto.
9. Keeping people around you happy in the long-term means that they are in a very advantageous position to control you, manipulate you or take advantage of you when things aren't going so well for them. This is because they've financially and emotionally supported you to the point of dependence.
10. Keeping others around you happy will mean that your sense of self-esteem will shrink through out the day as your need for their approval grows and grows. This is because there's never a time when all those around you aren't expecting something from you, whether it be positive or negative…
11. Keeping others happy means that you'll never have the opportunity to cultivate your own self-acceptance or self-love. For example, if you're a single parent and are required to keep the needs of others at the expense of your own wellness, it's likely that you will have a very low self-esteem and insecurity about yourself.
12. When keeping people around you happy means sacrificing your own personal growth and wellbeing, chances are that you'll develop resentments towards these individuals. This will only serve to fuel feelings of hostility and resentment towards them… which will in turn make it harder for you to maintain healthy relationships with them in the long term.
13. Keeping other people happy at all cost will lead to your constantly feeling like you're in a position of never being good enough. This is because you'll be expected to always do more and more, so that you can support the happiness of others… this will eventually lead to a point of no return where you feel as though if you don't keep everyone happy then they'll never accept or love you again…
14. When trying to keep people around you happy, it's very likely that they'll feel as though their happiness isn't your responsibility. You see, human beings are supposed to use their own inner resources (emotional, mental and spiritual) in order to take care of themselves at all times. When we don't do this, but instead go to others for their approval… we're essentially trying to use something that isn't ours (other people) to make us feel something that they can't make us feel on our own.
15. The very moment you give up trying to keep everyone around you happy, is the moment that they too will learn how to be happy in themselves and with themselves. This is because it's through your sharing of your own personal truth (your feelings and needs) that others will be able to learn more about themselves and then begin the process of taking responsibility for their own lives.
16. When you begin to keep your own needs at the forefront of your consciousness, you'll also begin to better understand and respect the needs of those around you. This is because it's through the cultivation of self-awareness that we learn more about our personal selves, out habits, values, commitments and what we stand for.
17. When you stop caring so much about what other people think and feeling responsible for their feelings… you will no longer be a slave to the approval of others. When you're free from this burden… it will then be easier for you to speak your truth and take responsibility for yourself… that means being able to look after both your needs and those of others in a healthy balanced way….
18. When you begin to care less about the approval of others, you'll feel a sense of freedom that you've never felt before. You see, it's through creating a life for yourself where you don't care about the approval or disapproval of others that you'll find yourself learning how to go after what is best for your own life… and not solely what is best for the lives of those around you.
19. When making your own needs and wishes more important than those of others… it creates an environment where people are more likely to come up to you with their own unique needs and wants, instead of always expecting something from you all the time. This leads to a more reciprocal relationship between yourself and all those around you…
20. When you care less about the approval of others, you'll find yourself more willing to accept and follow your own intuition. This means that you'll be more capable of reading situations before they happen… and then being able to respond to them in a way that is both healthy and beneficial for you.
21. When making your own needs more important than those of others… your relationships will become more balanced and harmonious. This is because when everyone takes responsibility for themselves, there's no longer any cause for conflict between individuals or groups as each person is only doing what's best for them.
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Conclusion
It's easy to get so caught up in the external form of our lives (where we lie to others and are lying to ourselves), that we become blind to what's really going on. We start living within a world that is based more on our own fears, frustrations and expectations than reality. This leads us away from the truth of who we are, which is why there are so many spiritual and inner-city schools of thought with so many different "truths".
The true truth about life is that everything comes to us as a gift. We are all given this life for a reason. When you look after your needs, you'll reap the rewards in terms of health, happiness and self-acceptance.