10 Ways To Say No To Fear This New Year
In our world of six degrees of separation and online connections, the internet has allowed us to find and share information about anything. Unfortunately, this can also be a double-edged sword. It's easy to get caught up in fear or worry about how our lives will change or what will happen if we back away from certain situations.
Thankfully, there are things that you can do to change your mindset this year. Take a look at these 10 ways that will help you move forward without fear!
1) Give yourself permission to feel safe again after experiencing an unpleasant encounter with a relative or friend: People who have experienced an unpleasant encounter with someone close may have very strong triggers related to loved ones because the emotions are still so raw. A party can bring up old wounds, so if you don't feel like attending, don't! It's okay to say no to people even if they're family, especially during the first few months after the event.
2) Move away from negative thinking patterns by being proactive with your time: Most negative thoughts revolve around future events or recalling prior pain or hurt in our lives. Finding ways to impact your environment positively is a great way to move forward without fear. Volunteering for a local charity gives you a reason to be around others who are doing great things and it provides a sense of purpose. Getting involved with an organization that you're passionate about helps you get out of your head and onto your feet.
3) Find positive sources to inspire you in times of doubt: Fear is one of the greatest inhibitors to creativity and productivity. If you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night or your days are filled with an underlying dread, it can be beneficial to remove yourself from negative influences.
4) Avoid negative people: How many times have you heard that "misery loves company"? If someone tells you a negative story or complains about their life, avoid letting that person draw you into the negativity by saying things like "I'm sorry this happened to you" or "that's terrible." People who are in a happy place don't want to burden others with their problems. If you're spending time with them, try to change the subject or leave the room.
5) Don't allow yourself to become isolated: Being alone can be really hard when it's you vs. the world. Make sure that you get out and spend time with people who are positive and support your goals.
6) Create a plan for every situation: When we feel like we're losing control over a situation, it can lead to fear and sometimes even panic attacks. If you find yourself in this type of situation (and many people do), be proactive about creating a plan of action in case things don't go as planned.
7) Don't allow yourself to be controlled by thoughts: You may think that you're inflexible or that you don't have the ability to change your fate but you do have the power to change your thoughts. Negative thought patterns can lead to fear, but if you can catch yourself when a negative thought pops into your head and replace it with a positive one, it's possible for you to think differently and move forward without fear.
8) Remember that there's a reason for everything: So many of us take things for granted - money, possessions, friends and family. If we realize this about ourselves, it can give us the strength to overcome our fears and move forward in spite of what may happen in the future.
9) Invite a friend to join you during your fear experiments: Have you ever noticed how much more difficult it is to attempt something new when we're by ourselves? When we think about things like skydiving, bungee jumping or any other crazy activity, we tend to take into account the negative possibilities that can happen. While it's important to be aware of the dangers involved in some of these situations, a friend can help bring balance and perspective during your fear experiments.
10) Don't let fear stop you from taking chances: Fear will almost always present itself as opposition to something new or challenging for us. If you allow yourself to be controlled by it, you may never know what could have been possible for you this year.
So, what are you waiting for? If you're going to say yes to something in 2013, make sure it's something that will move you forward.
"I want to do a 10-year challenge." she said.
On January 1st, 2008, I was single with no kids and I had a full time job that I loved.
I can't even begin to tell you how much my life has changed since then.
I've been in several relationships, moved in with a guy, got pregnant suddenly and married him, had a miscarriage and had a son who I'm raising as a single mom.
None of those things are bad necessarily.
But I realize now that those things weren't what I wanted for myself 10 years ago.
I was going to spend time with an old friend today who is actually my sister-in-law's brother - we didn't grow up together at all so there isn't really any blood relationship between us, but our brother's used to be best friends so we grew up together when we were kids.
I've known him since I was like 5 (I'm 30 now) and we had a really close relationship up until I was about 14.
Then I kind of turned into a bitch for the next several years, until it was time for me to leave for college when he was just turning 18 and starting his senior year in high school.
That summer he enlisted in the army.
When I returned from college with my boyfriend/future husband, that was the first time I saw Travis since he'd left - though we talked on the phone periodically.