5 Nasty Emotions That Could Be Stopping You From Living Your Dreams
We all have them. Those uncomfortable and sometimes overwhelming emotions, like fear, anger, sadness, jealousy and disappointment. They can get in our way and keep us from living the lives we want to live.
But as this post's title suggests, there are five emotions that actually could be stopping you from achieving your goals: guilt, shame, embarrassment, self-doubt...and hopelessness.
I'd like to talk more about each of these emotions in Part 1 of this two part series on living your dreams:
Guilt.
As my grandmother used to say, "butter wouldn't melt in her mouth." She was the sweetest person ever and had an angelic appearance as well. But she could be a terror when crossed or insulted. I remember being with her one time when she drove past an acquaintance's house, just so she could give them the finger (or as my grandmother called it, "The Hook"). Though she was only 5'2", nobody messed with her and made sure they closed the door behind them if they left her presence. Because everyone knew not to mess with Granny...
Now, what about you? What are the people in your life that you wouldn't dream of messing with? The negative ones. Those who bring out the black sheep in you. Many people wish they could just throttle those types of people and take their problems away, though they know it would be detrimental to their own lives.
The other side of guilt is the feeling that you've hurt someone else by not being there for them or letting them down yourself. How many times have we gone through a period where we said to ourselves, "I'm so sorry I blew it this time," "If only I hadn't said or done that thing," or "I wish I could take it back. I am so sorry for my thoughtless behavior!"
The only way to take back our guilt is to identify the event or the person we feel guilty about. If we can't find it, then we might be holding onto some dissonant or unidentifiable emotion.
Self-doubt.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again: if you're not getting what you want in life, there's a reason for that. You might be missing something...like an important ingredient of a recipe. And that missing ingredient? It's self-doubt.
As a life coach, I work closely with my clients to help them understand their own self-doubt and how it keeps them from moving forward in their lives. We also explore what they might be thinking, feeling or behaving as a result of this emotion. And when we're ready to release self-doubt from our lives once and for all, we come up with ways to turn this emotion into something positive that helps us move forward in our lives.
Embarrassment.
I was in a coffee shop recently and the barista asked me if I wanted my drink to be "topped” with whipped cream or chocolate sprinkles. I casually said yes to both...and then I looked around and realized that everyone in the shop was staring at me. I'm not sure if they were listening to our conversation, or if they just didn't like the whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles combination. But either way, it was a pretty embarrassing moment.
Because we've all been embarrassed by different things, it's easy to feel anxious or inclined to hide when we know that people are going to be watching us. But here's another thing that you should remember: while other people might be judging you, you can't let them take over your life! You get to decide how you're going to react and feel about the situation around you.