Act Your Way Into A New Way Of Thinking
"As human beings, we are born in our bodies with a particular set of memories and beliefs. Hence, on the surface, it may appear that we live as we were born. It is also true that our lives are constantly changing in response to what we experience. We only become conscious of this change when it has been going on for some time."
-Carl Jung
This idea can be applied to mindset by saying that you have to act your way into a new way of thinking just like you have to act your way into a new way of acting. Act like the person you want to become and over time your mindset will change. This is a very similar concept to the idea of mastery. Like mastery you have to act like the person you want to become just as you have to act your way into a new way of thinking.
"I do not know whether it is possible for a man to alter his direction short of death, but I know that he can choose it."
- Aristotle
In order to achieve anything in life you must be able to change your direction and choose it yourself. This also includes changing your mindset if you want it to change.
What are the benefits of doing this? You will experience greater happiness and success as well as improvement in physical well being and mental insight.
To change your mindset you can use a journal to write down the thoughts and feelings that go through your head. You may have already noticed that throughout the day you have thoughts that are negative and unhelpful. As part of your daily routine or just when you remember to do it, write down what is going through your head for one hour every day. You can also notice habits or actions you take in reaction to a bad feeling or thought. When you notice them, write them down too. This is also a good opportunity to make some notes about things that make you feel better or worse.
Research has shown that writing down what goes on in our heads can help us cultivate more positive thinking patterns and reduce negative ones.
"Feelings are neither good nor bad - they just are. The signal that hits your brain might be called, "That was disappointing." It all depends on what you do with the message."
- Geneen Roth
Once you have a journal filled with your thoughts and feelings you can start to work through it. Your negative feelings and thoughts are not bad or wrong but they also don't have to control your life. In your journal, write some positive affirmations about your thoughts and feelings that show you a more understanding and accepting side of yourself. This can help you to feel better about yourself by reminding yourself that there is more than one side to every story. Other ways of doing this can be asking yourself questions to help find the good in things that you normally would find negative. For example, you could answer "what would I say to a friend if they were feeling down or hopeless?" You can also use mapping or drawing techniques to help you find things that make you feel good.
You may have already noticed how difficult it can be to change your behavior so it is important that you don't set yourself up for failure by trying something unrealistic or too difficult. It may be better to work on changing your mindset first. In the beginning, when you notice negative thoughts and feelings, just write them down in your journal and then move on with your day. If you are unable to make time to do this on a daily basis, you can use an app on your phone. It is important that your mindset stays positive and open to whatever experiences come your way but beware of over doing it. You also shouldn't beat yourself up because you feel down or hopeless. As Jung said, "All of us have the same right to be unhappy; we all want to be happy."
"Each of us possesses within our own mind the power of creating forms, which when once created may be indefinitely perpetuated in space and time by correspondingly controlling the corresponding forms outside."
- Friedrich Schelling
Different thoughts, feelings and behaviors can be thought about as different creations. These creations can then be experienced in different ways and repeated as needed. For example, if you choose to feel sad, this is a creation that you have made. This feeling can be experienced in different ways. You might sit huddled up in a corner and cry or you might just want to do nothing which is the opposite of feeling sad. However the feeling that you have created is always there and remains the same no matter what way you experience it or how much time passes by.
"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building something new. Do not focus on pulling down the old, but on building something new."
-Steve Jobs
One way to manage this is to think about the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that you have made as things that are created by you and can be modified in a positive way. If you have a thought that you want to change, don't try to fight it or get rid of it. Instead think about how you can use it to make yourself stronger. For example if your thought is "I'm helpless" then instead of trying and failing at changing your thoughts then focus on changing how you experience being "helpless". You could add a new belief like "I always know what I need to do. I just forget what to do." By doing this, you will be strengthening your belief in yourself by making sure that you always know what to do.
"Change what you are against and you will change what you are for."
- Joseph Campbell
This section is a bit more advanced and there is no right or wrong way of doing it. As with the previous section, think about how something in your life makes you feel or brings up negative thoughts. In this case it can be something that happened but also something that happened yesterday or last week. Or maybe something that will happen next week. Whatever works for you is fine as long as it helps to explore your thoughts and feelings about a situation.
In your journal, write down how you feel and how you think about how you are feeling and the situation. What is your reaction when you think about it and what do you do? By thinking about these things, you can begin to realize that your reactions are not always the right ones. For example, if one of your reactions is to feel sad or angry that doesn't mean that you are a bad person or have no value as a human being. Or when put in this situation once again, wouldn't it be much easier to have more positive thoughts and feelings?
"You can't control what happens to you but what happens in response to what happens to you. This has nothing to do with what happens, but only with how you react to what happens. It is this reaction that is the leader and the creator of your life."
- Henry Ford
Your reactions are like the creator of your life because they set the tone for things that happen in the future. If you create negative reactions, you will most likely be confronted with more unpleasant experiences. But if you create positive reactions, then these are probably things that will help you develop a better mindset for dealing with problems as they arise. Your reactions can be thought about as an energy that flows from one thing to another; from your thoughts and feelings to people, objects or situations in your environment.
Conclusion
"Everything we do begins with our thoughts."
- Buddha
Through the repetition of positive thoughts and feelings, it is possible to change your behavior over time. "The key is to realize that thought patterns that feel real are real in their consequences." These are just a few examples of how you can begin to manage your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Please see the references for more resources about mindfulness, CBT and DBT.
Many people struggle with negative or harmful thoughts, but it doesn't have to be this way. It is possible for you to feel better by focusing on the good in situations instead of the bad and by having healthy emotions instead of unhealthy ones.