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 ADD: See The Sunny Side

Have you been diagnosed with ADD? If so, you may be experiencing some of the fun, some of the frustration, and some of the challenges that come with this condition. It's not always easy to get things done when attention spans are short and distractibility is common. That said, we'd like to share a few things we've learned about dealing with ADD in an effort to help others who are in similar situations. Let's see where this goes!

ADD: See The Sunny Side!

1) Focus on 'staying in' instead of just 'getting through'.

2) You're not alone- there is support out there. Ask your doctor if you can receive counseling through the ADD Association's website (www.add.org). If a child or adult is diagnosed, siblings and other family members might also be affected by this condition.

3) Recognize that whatever it takes to get things done, will have just as much value! For instance, consider 'however' and 'whatever'. For example:

"However" - "I'm going to do my homework however I need to in order that I can get this grade."

"Whatever" - "I'm going to do my homework no matter what it takes."  If you're struggling with a task at work, ask yourself: "Whatever it takes to make it right. Whatever it takes to make my manager happy."

One thing we've noticed is that many people with ADD have the tendency to over exaggerate their knowledge and abilities. They'll say things like: "I can do anything! I can handle anything! I'll get it done!" On the surface this may sound great, but if you're not doing things right every time, then there's no reason your employer or family members should trust your word. It's a bit like riding a bike with training wheels- you need to build up that trust and make sure they're 'training wheels' are on tight enough before you take them off!

3) Remember that the "why?" isn't that important.

When you're trying to get something done, it's important to focus on the outcome and not the why. For example:

"Why I'm trying to get out there and make new friends."

"Why I'm planning my vacation."

If you don't have a solid understanding of what you're trying to accomplish then it's time to take a step back, re-evaluate your goals, and come up with a better strategy for achieving them. It's okay if this is difficult- most people with ADD also have a tendency not to think things through entirely before jumping into action.

4) Recognize that it's okay to brainstorm.

We've seen a lot of people with ADD who have a hard time coming up with ideas for new ideas. For instance, if you're going to get together with a group of friends, it can be difficult to come up with relevant conversation topics or things to do or say when the time comes. There's no need to be afraid to brainstorm though. We've seen some strategies that have worked well, such as:

"I'm going out with my friends tonight and I want to bring beer but I don't know what to talk about."

"I'm going out with my friends tonight and I want to play a game that's good for socializing. "

"I'm going out with my friends tonight and I'd like to play a game that's good for competitive problem solving. "

"I'm going out with my friends tonight and I'd like to do something fun."

Recognize that it's okay if you're not sure what you want to talk about on a date. It's okay if you don't know what game to play at a party. It's okay to say you want to do something 'fun'. Sometimes the best way to overcome fear of an unknown outcome is by just jumping in and figuring it out as you go!

5) Trust your instincts.

We've seen a lot of people who have felt like they weren't being heard by others, including doctors and psychiatric professionals who were hired to help with ADD concerns. In many cases, the person with ADD has done all the work only to find that their doctors are unconcerned or more worried about side effects than actually helping. Bottom line is, ADD is a very real condition that people can't just ignore.

We've seen many people with ADD who have been hesitant to express themselves because they felt that others wouldn't understand or believe them. The truth is, anyone can suffer from ADD. People like us (mental health professionals who have been diagnosed with ADD ourselves) are no different than others- we have feelings and emotions just like everyone else! We may even be more sensitive in certain ways than others.

You're not alone!  Really! It's okay to let the world know what you need from your doctor and from each other.  It's also okay to be upset when things don't seem to be getting better.

6) Use "I" statements and stay focused on you.

7) Remember that the world is filled with people who love and care about you.  Keep them close!

8) Having a negative self-image isn't fair, or helpful, to yourself or anyone else.

We've seen some people with ADD who have a tendency to think negatively about themselves and the world around them simply because they have ADD. This doesn't mean that they're depressed, but that they see the reality of things no matter how bleak it may be. Recognize that this is a part of having ADD and it's okay.

A good example of this is in school. If you were sitting in math class, but you were thinking about going to get a hotdog and some cheese fries at lunch, then it's going to be a little more challenging to pay attention to the words on the board and complete the next homework assignment. So, try your best to focus on the lesson and not let your mind wander.

9) Remember that you can count on others.

We've seen some people with ADD who have a really hard time trusting their friends and family.  This is so incredibly hard to do, but it's important because it helps with any issues of trust, authority figures, etc. It's okay to test the waters, but if you don't feel like they're meeting all the requirements you need them to meet then it's okay to opt out.

Conclusion

ADD is a complicated disorder to live with, but that doesn't mean it's not worthy of living! If you have ADD and feel like you're struggling in any way- whether it be your career, relationships, school, or family- then we encourage you to seek professional help! There are many great professionals who are equipped to help you manage your symptoms and find the road to success.  We're here to help too!

You deserve happiness! So go out there and live it up!!

Here are some helpful links:

National Resource Center on AD/HD: http://www.help4adhd.