Adult Add And Cloudy Communications
Adults with ADHD are often guilty of "fidgeting" in conversations. In other words, they have a hard time sitting still and staying on topic, which can frustrate their listener or leave them feeling unheard and misunderstood.
But there's hope! In the article below we'll take a look at this common adult ADHD symptom, and share some insights into how to strengthen your "cloudy" communications for more clarity in what you're saying.
First, let's go over some general points about ADHD "fidgeting", where it comes from in the brain, and how to better manage it.
Fidgeting is essentially caused by a combination of two things: your ADHD brain, and the way you were raised .
ADHD brains are naturally hyperactive, impulsive, and easily aroused. Because of your ADHD brain chemistry and genetics (really just the interplay of these two), you have a hard time sitting still even when you want to. You may have sat on your hands or fiddled with a pencil during class in elementary school, or been told to be still at home even as an adult.
On the other hand, if you were raised in an environment where everyone was expected to sit still and listen attentively, it's easier for you to learn this behavior and get better at managing it.
So fidgeting is something that develops as a result of your brain chemistry and genetics interacting with how you're raised. For example, if you've ever had a teacher scold or reprimand you for fidgeting or moving in class, then that might have helped make it harder for you to sit still later on.
Sometimes there are other causes of fidgeting, such as a hypoglycemia or fatigue, but this article will focus mainly on ADHD-related fidgeting and how to manage it.
Now that we've covered the basics of ADHD-related fidgeting, let's move on to the how to overcome it.
Overcoming Fidgeting: Mindfulness and Awareness
At its core, ADHD is about attention and awareness. Because you have an extra brain chemical (dopamine) flooding your prefrontal cortex and scanning for things to do, your neurology makes it hard for you to stay focused on one thing. The brain is always looking for the next thing to do, even if it has to create that thing internally.
The ADHD brain takes this a step further and is often impulsive and easily aroused, which means that it may jump from project to project without finishing them. And once it's jumped, this tendency becomes more neurologically ingrained because the brain needs repetition of the action to create new neural pathways (more on neural pathways in a bit).
The nervous system and the autonomic nervous system are also involved in ADHD-related fidgeting. The nervous system is involved because ADHD brains tend to overreact emotionally and be more easily aroused. The autonomic nervous system is also involved because fidgeting can be a physical reaction to the stress of ADHD.
Think of it this way: ADHD brains are like a fire engine that goes berserk whenever you press it. You can control the fire engine with your awareness (your mindfulness and self-regulation skills), but if it's not conscious — which happens if you're tired, hungry, or haven't had enough sleep — then it may spurt out without warning and have little control over its actions.
But what can you do? Mindfulness gives us the tools to control our emotional reactivity, and better self-regulation strengthens our ability to "hold" our ADHD brain in check.
When we're mindful, we can quickly trigger our prefrontal cortex to help us notice our fidgeting. Once we notice it, then we can use a self-control technique to "hold" or freeze that fidgeting and keep it from being expressed.
So you could be sitting at your desk with your ADHD brain triggering "get up" impulses but, because you're mindful, you notice the impulses and use a self-control technique to keep yourself still in your chair. In this way, mindfulness makes it easier for you to monitor and regulate your impulses. This is what mindfulness is all about.
Mindfulness also stimulates your ability to focus and concentrate, which helps you sit still. It's good for your memory, attention span, and auditory comprehension skills. It also reduces stress and increases well-being (which is why some successful ADHD adults struggle with this symptom).
How do you practice mindfulness? The key is paying attention to the present moment. This may sound obvious, but it's harder than it seems! You see and feel your ADHD brain firing off all sorts of "get up" impulses — like the desire to check email or surf through Facebook. You might even find yourself getting up from your desk and walking over to the computer, all because you've become distracted or caught up in a stream of thoughts about other projects.
Mindfulness means being aware of your impulses (your ADHD brain firing off) and then being able to stop yourself from acting on those impulses. This is why mindfulness is so helpful when it comes to fidgeting. It helps you notice the impulses and stop yourself from acting on them.
Now let's take a look at some of our self-control techniques for overcoming fidgeting…
Self-Control Techniques And Fidgeting: "Stop" Your Impulses!
Fidgeting requires self-control (i.e. self-regulation) in order to suppress the impulses and our response to them, so you'll have to develop that inner discipline.
We call these self-control techniques "stop signals", "stopping points", or "stop signs". Each of these names describes the same process: we use a self-control technique (in this case, stopping fidgeting) as a way of stopping ourselves from acting on an impulse.
Here are some strategies for overcoming ADHD fidgeting (or at least managing it):
The Exaggerated Attention Response Technique (EART): When you feel an ADHD brain impulse, you can use this strategy. It's basically the "stop" signal. You can stop and become aware of the impulse to get up from your chair, grab a drink, or turn on your computer.
The Body Scan: When you feel an ADHD brain impulse, use this strategy. It's like "taking a break". You can walk away from the desk or table and relax by doing a body scan. As you relax and do your body scan, you can take deep breaths and bring yourself back to being present in the moment.
The Two-Step Technique: When you feel an ADHD brain impulse, combine it with saying a word that goes along with it — for example: "OK".
Conclusion: Mindfulness and Self-Control
There's a lot more to ADHD, so if you want to learn more about this condition from a scientific perspective, please see my book: here.
I also have a corresponding course for families, teachers, and counselors as well: here.
In the end, overcoming fidgeting is about mindfully noticing your impulses and using a self-control strategy to overcome them. I hope this helps!
Image Credit: Bigstockphoto.com
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