Anchoring For Emotional Balance
Anchoring is a powerful technique that can be used to achieve emotional balance and stability. Anchoring refers to the act of associating an internal cue, like a word or a phrase, with an external stimulus, such as music or the ocean tide. This can help someone return to their happy place when life gets too tough.
The first time I tried this out was during one of those days where everything seemed to go wrong. I could feel myself getting more and more frustrated and anxious by the minute—I was imagining plummeting into debt with my bills, having no social life and not being able to get anything done.
I was listening to a soundtrack on YouTube when I decided to try anchoring an image in my mind. Before I knew it, I was standing on the beach at sunset, looking out at the sea and listening to a beautiful jazz tune. It felt so good...just like the time when I got that promotion at work.
This is what had happened: after finding myself in a frustrating situation, I had been exploring different aspects of my life within my mind. One of them was my job and what I could do to advance in it or get promoted. When nothing seemed to be working out, I started envisioning myself getting promoted on some silly night. Visualizing my best self made everything feel better.
Try it out for yourself! Here are a few anchor words or phrases you can use to start anchoring your own happy place.
Everything is going to be okay - Say this over and over again, aloud if possible , which helps solidify the thought.
You are so good at ______ - This can be any skill you have or something abstract, like being kinder and more generous than usual. I love using this with people who sometimes find themselves caught in the trap of always saying "I'm good" when things aren't going their way.
It is really really important that ___________ - Choose something that is important to you. You can use this for everything from social events to romantic relationships to things you do for work.
Your happiest place - This could be a particular time and place, or a person. I have used this technique with fantastic results, especially when someone is feeling really low or upset and they are looking for something they can anchor themselves back to a positive emotion.
Having an image of the right moment in time that is so significant and pleasurable will help them feel lighter, more relaxed and happier. And note that these anchor words and phrases should be used in the present tense as much as possible, since it creates more of a visual link with what you want to feel.
(source : How to deeply anchor yourself in a positive state.)
Posted by Arthur Przybyszewski at 11:58 AM
Hi, Alex! I'm the author of the original post! My friends call me Ernie but my real name is Ernesto. I just wanted to thank you for your comment and for sharing your story. If you are ever in San Diego, California, you should stop by and visit me. Reply Delete
Hi Ernie! Thank you so much for your awesome tips! I have used it a few times already when I am feeling so frustrated! Thank you so much! :) Love it when things work out great because of simple steps to change any situation into a positive way. Thank you! Reply Delete
Thanks for the tips, Ernie. I will try out your suggestions. Will keep you updated on how they work out. Reply Delete
Ernie, Thanks so much for sharing your experiences here. This is just what I needed right now, as I am facing some of life's challenges at the moment. You have helped me so much with your blog posts and comments over the years that I really wanted to pay this forward by posting a comment or two of my own when I feel inspired to write something back in response to a post that had an impact on me. My story: I came to what is now known as the United States from a small village in the Philippines. I then spent years in an orphanage in another part of the country before being placed into foster care with my older brother. My brother and I were separated 20 years ago and we haven't seen each other since. I have searched for him countless times, but so far without success. There are some days that go by where I just don't want to be alive anymore because there seem to be no good days anymore or at least none that lead to anything positive or meaningful. As you know, today is one of those rare days when everything seemed to go wrong again just like it always does. I was feeling like crying because nothing seemed to be going right. Then I remembered that I have a journal blog with some of my thoughts and quotes which I can read back whenever I am feeling down. So I logged into my blog to read the things that are written there and stumbled on your post today titled "How to deeply anchor yourself in a positive state." Your post made me so happy for some reason, but it also gave me hope. When you mentioned not getting anywhere by doing self-pity, it somehow struck me that maybe this is one of the reasons why my brother and I didn't stay together all those years ago. I have been feeling bad about this for so many years. Maybe if we had stayed together, we could have helped each other get through the tough times and we might still be in touch right now. Your post made a big impact on me. I am really sorry if I rambled too much. Thank you so much again! Reply Delete
Thanks Ernesto! It's great to know that my words were useful to you in some way. I hope things turn out well for you, and your brother too! If there is anything else I can do to help, please don't hesitate to ask! Reply Delete
Thanks again Ernie for the tips. I will try out Visualization and Anchoring. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences here! Reply Delete
I am so glad that you're here! I also struggle with trust issues, and I've read a lot about it on your blog, and I'm finding that I'm attracted to the concept of trust more than ever. The idea makes me feel better about myself, like this feeling of hopelessness won't just remain. It's inspiring to know that there are people out there like me who have the same struggles as me and can relate to what I'm saying! Reply Delete
Ernie: Thank you for sharing your experience. Trust is one thing that has a direct impact on happiness in my life since childhood. It is a deep need for us and seems to be a part of our basic human nature. I think it is not about being perfect in some aspects, but finding the right balance. We all want to be loved, trusted, valued and accepted. I would suggest you reading the article "Trust" from Dr. Phil McGraw's site at http://www.drphilshow.com/wonderfuldocumentary/trust-7-step-program 2 . This will give you more insights into this complex and difficult problem. If you want to contact me regarding your experience email me at ernie@ernieprzybyszewski.com or send me a private message on Facebook https://www.facebook.
Conclusion
You might have noticed that I didn't give you any techniques, directions or specifics. That's because I want you to form your own personal solutions to the problems that you are facing. This is extremely important because your own solutions will be unique and personal and they will include not only what you learn from this post, but also what you learn from your emotional experiences throughout life.
After reading this post, something changed in me – so many things have changed. I no longer have the same emotional pain that was there before, and even if it returns once in a while it's just an emotional blip now rather than a constant state of being frustrated and miserable for the rest of my life.