Anger Management Technique: What Is Anger?
Anger is a very misunderstood emotion. It will often come out of nowhere and with little to no warning, and it can be a huge problem for us when we're left or feel ignored by others. Anger is also one of the most powerful feelings in our body and mind - it can cause us to act in ways that we don't even know or understand ourselves. Sometimes anger, before we have time to think about what's going on, has already had its way with our behavior - which could lead to physical violence against yourself or others.
So, what is anger?
Anger is a feeling that can arise out of various factors. Some of these include not getting what we want, being disappointed, feeling left out or misunderstood, feeling taken advantage of, forgetting problems or injustices that have occurred in the past and more. But there are also many different types of anger - some people are prone to just one type whereas others may be hard-wired to express their anger in different ways.
But fear is the emotion most often associated with anger and it's considered by many to be the cause for it. And this fear is often caused by other emotions, including self-doubt. We feel angry because we experience a lack of control, and this can be the result of many things - like being around people who make us feel inferior or not good enough, or because we're in a situation where we don't feel safe. Anger can also be an expression of our frustration and helplessness - when we're prevented from doing what we want to do or experiencing what we want to experience.
In most cases, being slighted in some way sets off our anger reaction. We are all aware of situations where someone has been mistreated and took out their frustration on others instead of trying to correct the problem from its source. This could be an example of how we all have the potential to experience anger due to feelings of victimization.
So, the next time you catch yourself feeling angry, think about what could be causing such a strong emotion - is there some underlying fear? Are you in a situation where you feel victimized or threatened? Is your experience different from that of your friends or co-workers?
Once we identify the source of our anger, it becomes easier for us to manage it and express it appropriately. When we are able to understand why we're becoming angry rather than just experiencing an explosive outburst, we can better understand how best to deal with it - not only for ourselves but also for those around us who may be impacted by our reactions.
Even if you don't completely understand the source of your anger, follow these simple steps to help you manage it:
· Calm yourself down.
· Think about the situation that made you angry and try to see it from another perspective. Try to see where the person who upset you was coming from by looking at their point of view. If they did something wrong or hurtful, try to forgive them, this will help stop your anger in its tracks.
· Help those around you - instead of being angry at others who might need your assistance, offer some help. People want friends and loved ones who are willing to care for them, but only if we recognize their needs instead of just reacting negatively towards them when they upset us.
· Know that you can learn to deal with anger - there are plenty of meditation techniques, breathing exercises and other ways to manage it when it comes to keeping your anger in check.
If you or someone you know is struggling with anger or is trying to understand it at all, we invite you to come join us in our group. We have a huge waiting list of people who would like help with this emotion, but might not know where to start in their search for answers. We're also offering free membership-based counseling and there is a track within the group devoted solely to dealing with anger. We're here for you, and we're sure that once you begin to learn about anger, it will open the door to many other feelings and reactions in your life.
If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below! We can be reached at any time by private message. And come back again soon to learn more about all of the inner workings of our mind and body.
By: Ken Moriarty
Posted in Anger Management Techniques | 2 Comments »
The Steps: You will need to get everything written down because this is an activity that people tend to forget once they start writing. You will need to set aside 30 minutes at a time to complete this activity. It is easy and quick, but it takes time. If you want to really take the task seriously, try to set aside as much time as 40 minutes. In order for this exercise to work you need total immersion in the task, so focus on what you are doing and why. Please do not wait for someone else's approval before moving on with your life. The most difficult part of the process is facing everyone and telling them how guilty or angry you feel about something that happened in your life. The worst thing you can possibly do is to keep this information to yourself and try, in a roundabout way, to justify your emotional reactions. Letting others know about your anger is not a sign of weakness. It's an indication of strength. People will be happy to hear that you have the courage to bare your soul and tell them the truth! The steps are as follows: Step 1 - Get it all down on paper. Once you get it all written down, without editing or changing any of the material, then you will realize that there is actually nothing more you need to say. It can be so liberating when imagining what some people would say if they read this thing written by me. It can be so liberating when imagining what some people would say if they read this thing written by me. Step 2 - Read over everything you have written. This is not to be confused with reading what you wrote, but just looking at it. When you read it out loud, many of your preconceived notions will go out the window and you will realize how angry or guilty you actually feel about some events in your life. For example, if you start with a sentence like: I am angry about ______________, then that does not matter. The first thing that is clear is the why and the second thing that becomes clear is the anger (yes, even though it's all right there in black and white!). Step 3 - Make adjustments. If you want to explain something, make sure it's written in a complete sentence. Try to avoid things like this (e.g., "I am angry about the fact that my husband ______________." "I am angry about the fact that ______________." The anger will be there whether you use an adjective or not). Step 4 - Print out the document. This is not a step, but after you have completely read over your work and made any necessary corrections, you need to print it out for all to see.
Conclusion
This step frees your anger to evolve. This is a big part of getting over your emotions and moving on. It's a mixture of Do and Don't. Do.... Tell the truth to those you love. Don't.... Lie or keep secrets from them in a roundabout way (i.e., avoid questions like: "Did you see that movie Star Wars last night?" "Did you talk to my brother about going to the ball game?"). Step 5 - Enjoy life.