Anxiety And Stress Relief - Facing Life's Giants!
If you're stressed, you probably know what it's like to feel overwhelmed, unfocused or just not in control. That sense of powerlessness can be debilitating. It can make us shut out the world and live in guilt, shame, or fear.
For some of us that stress spills over into other parts of our lives: at work and home and with friends. We behave differently when we feel this way — we may withdraw from loved ones and find ourselves overeating or drinking too much.
But even if those things are working for you now - they won't always be there to support you when the stress starts again. And in the meantime all we're doing is wearing ourselves down with coping mechanisms that don't fix anything.
There has to be a better way.
The answer is right here with you: through the process of facing your stressors, of making peace with what you're facing, and learning how to move beyond it.
I believe this approach can become a life-long practice that allows you to feel more calm and in control of your life every time stress comes knocking at your door...
To do that, though, you'll need to face a few giants: the fears and anxieties that hold you back from everything good.
About a year ago, I began to notice that a couple of my friends (including my wife) were experiencing some pretty serious anxiety attacks. Repeatedly. And it was getting worse and worse.
Some of them were even having panic attacks that would knock them unconscious and leave them hospitalized at times. Sometimes they'd be too embarrassed to talk about it because they couldn't believe it was happening to them or they felt pressured to get better when all they wanted was some relief.
I realized those feelings, if left unchecked, could become a career-killer for them: holding them back from the very jobs their degrees were supposed to get for them. Discouraging the relationships that meant so much to them. Keeping them from pursuing hobbies and passions that would open up their worlds.
I knew I had to help them and I began to look for some answers. Through that search, I started to connect with people whose experiences were surprisingly similar to my friends': doctors, psychologists, friends and family who had gone through the same thing at some point in their lives.
Many were surprised they weren't alone or that anyone even acknowledged that they'd been going through such an ordeal. They felt like they were somehow broken or defective in some way — defective products of a defective world.
And next to them I saw the opposite: people who were walking tall, taking charge of their lives, and moving beyond their feelings of stress and anxiety.
I wasn't sure what was causing it or how to even get started on the same path that seemed so far away for those so close to me. But I knew I had to start somewhere - and now seemed like a really good time.
The Problem
Feeling stressed can be harsh and debilitating, but there's a solution: face your fears and anxieties instead of letting them rule you. There are three main areas in which we can face our stressors: physical, personal relationships and self-esteem.
Let's start with the physical.
Our bodies are our biggest stressors. Of course, a lot of that comes from simple daily activities, like sitting at a desk all day - as well as the more extreme examples:
We all know what it's like to be plagued by headaches and back pain. The tension in our muscles just isn't conducive to being productive in our jobs: no matter how hard we try, we're often too frustrated to be able to focus or solve problems that come up.
And when those problems become more serious (such as health problems or legal issues), you can feel helpless and stressed out when your doctor has no idea how your present condition could have arisen or what's causing it.
Many people find their way to a chiropractor or physical therapist after even minor symptoms start to affect them and their quality of life. My clients who have moved beyond such worries report that once they've truly faced their fears and fears of inadequacy, they can relax more easily. They can move past the pain and problems because now they know what's going on and how to get past them.
But for most of us, there are still physical concerns that can be addressed through emotional release:
Nervousness is a common anxiety symptom, but as I see it, it's also an opportunity: the chance for us to face what we're afraid of by taking control of our lives and dealing with our issues head-on...
I'm often asked how to get rid of stress. I say there are two ways: you could learn to face your fears, or you could take charge of your life and become proactive.
Take control is my answer because it's the best way to relieve your stress:
You've probably heard that positive thinking can be a way to change your life and put stress in your past. I don't want you to forget that. But I think it's just one part of the problem-solving process that gives us the control we need to feel better about ourselves and our lives.
First, we have the facts: everything we know about ourselves and what happened in our past that used to make us anxious. We can't ignore that. We can't overlook it because we inherited it, or it was imposed on us, or it's socially-determined, or we're not safe about facing it.
And second, we have a choice: we have to make a firm decision that whatever took place in the past — good or bad - doesn't define our present abilities and abilities of the future. It doesn't tell us how to live our lives, how to love and how to care for others...
That right there is a lot of power if you let go of fear. It's understanding your fears and doing something about them that gives you new perspective and makes life easier.
If you've tried meditation or other mind-over-body techniques and haven't had much luck, I don't think it's all your fault. But I do think there are three big roadblocks to doing the work necessary for real change:
Fatigue is an obvious example. When we're exhausted, we can't muster the energy to face our problems. Nothing feels better than to have a huge distraction from our problems: a good night's sleep, a weekend at home with our kids and loved ones or just pushing hard at work...
The problem is that we aren't always able to provide ourselves with such distractions when we need them most. And sometimes we need to hear the message from someone else - someone who's been through it before. Someone who helped themselves because they had the courage to face some of their fears and anxieties head-on...
Face your fears and anxieties instead of letting them rule you. There are three main areas in which we can face our stressors: physical, personal relationships and self-esteem.
Let's start with the physical.
Our bodies are our biggest stressors. Of course, a lot of that comes from simple daily activities, like sitting at a desk all day - as well as the more extreme examples:
We all know what it's like to be plagued by headaches and back pain.
Conclusion
Most of us have the same routine day after day: the same stresses, anxieties and fears.
It's up to us to decide whether we're going to face them or let them rule us. It's our choice - quite literally: it's a matter of making the right decision at the right time and in the right way...
Take charge is my answer because it's the best way to relieve your stress:
You've probably heard that positive thinking can be a way to change your life and put stress in your past. I don't want you to forget that. But I think it's just one part of the problem-solving process that gives us the control we need to feel better about ourselves and our lives.