Approaches To Feminization
If you're not sure how to feminize your appearance and/or behavior, here are some approaches to try. Which ones work best for you will depend on various factors, from the role you want to play in your relationship, to what your partner wants.
This post includes:
-Basic female characteristics: The qualities that make a woman different from a man (e.g. submissiveness, vulnerability, dependability, emotionalism, etc.)
-Drawbacks: Things that make an attractive man different from a woman (e.g. confidence, dominance, strength, sexual assertiveness)
-Countermeasures: Things your partner can do to play to the strengths you don't have
-Special considerations for lipo/breast enlargement and some things you should know about them (e.g. breast sensitivity and how much bra padding/support you need)
Articles like this one are what keep me going day after day. Each one is written for a specific audience and is based on feedback I've gotten from my readers. It's amazing to get such detailed and personalized feedback from people about things that I've written about, as well as to learn of issues I haven't covered. This is what makes me feel like my time on this blog is being spent well.
One thing I've been asked about a lot is my take on feminization. There are a lot of post out there already (including one by yours truly and one that brings up some important points ), but most of them are quite short, and the reader comments suggest that there's a lot of confusion out there. This article aims to set some things straight and clear up any misconceptions about this highly important but often neglected subject.
I'll be centering things on male-to-female transsexuals, transvestites, and crossdressers, given my personal history with feminization. However, many of the principles can apply to other kinds of feminization as well (e.g. through body modification, hormone therapy, etc.).
A lot of people seem to think that some men start out as women and choose to become men later in life. This is something called "gender identity", which is the deep-seated, psychological sense a person has of being a particular gender. The idea that people can go through life without having any insight into their sex and gender at all strikes many people as absurd; indeed, the thought that one could be born a man but later decide he's actually a woman is so bizarre that some would say its only logical conclusion is madness.
These people have a hard time understanding how it's possible for a man to become a woman, because they view gender and sex as being on opposite ends of some sort of gender-sex spectrum. If you're born a man, then you can't be anything but a man, and vice versa (unless you went off the deep end). But for transsexuals and transvestites, this is not the case. These people don't really view themselves as one sex or the other, but as a blend of both sexes. They are more like an average person than the extreme ends of the spectrum (who may very well seem like alien creatures to them).
A lot of men seem to be under the impression that feminization = being girly = being like a woman. They don't want to be like women, so they think they shouldn't feminize themselves at all; they're not interested in becoming women and don't want to attract gay men. But I'm here to tell you that you can still be masculine and still have a feminine side. You can make yourself more attractive without having to change who you are as a person or selling out your entire identity in the process.
Women have certain female characteristics that make them more attractive than men. For example, being submissive and emotional is something most men find attractive, but few women do. Being sensitive is also something that would more often be associated with a woman than a man; this doesn't make it less masculine, however. It's just something that's not a priority for many men and doesn't appeal to them; most of this has to do with evolutionary psychology . Feminine qualities are the ones most likely to spark sexual attraction in women , so it makes sense that these would be the ones that men find most appealing .
Men also have some feminine characteristics (and vice versa). This is something that's well documented in psychology, anthropology, and sociology (e.g. the " gender complementarity " model by Dr. Elen E. White ). This means that the qualities most men find attractive in women make up what women find most attractive in men . Therefore, we can take advantage of this for our own purposes: If we learn how to play to the strengths that make us different from women but not necessarily less masculine, we can get more out of feminization than simply dressing like a woman or being a woman psychologically.
It's also important to note that there are various aspects of femininity that make for more than just sex appeal. They're also associated with things like social status and male-female relationships, so how we express these characteristics can be a lot more important than what they look like on the outside, especially for those of us who want to change our work lives, relationships with friends and family, etc.
Therefore, it's important to know what these feminine qualities are and how they play out in our lives. In the next section, I will talk about one of the most common groups of feminine characteristics and what they mean for a man: submissiveness and vulnerability .
Submissiveness
Submissiveness is a quality that's usually associated with being effeminate. It refers to a person who is non-threatening and vulnerable. These are all things we generally associate with women, but they're still male qualities, so men can still have them without being effeminate or gay.
This one is probably the easiest to understand, because it just means not being threatening.
Conclusion