Being Angry Is Normal, You Can Fix It
It's easy to feel angry, and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, as it turns out, anger is one of the most natural emotions we have — it's been around for a long time. However, many people struggle with how to deal with anger. Figuring out how to keep from hurting yourself or someone else when you're mad can be tricky sometimes. It can also be hard to handle your anger in healthy ways without things spiraling out of control real fast (i.e., not throwing food at your mom).
We've all been there. Some of us prolonged the situation, while others were more than happy to get it out of the way in a hurry — and, boy, is that ever dangerous. We already know that acting on our anger is bad for us. So we have to find a way to deal with our anger without hurting ourselves or others, and we have to do so in a healthy way.
If you're having problems with this issue — especially if you think you might be experiencing some kind of anger-related mental health problem — then you're not alone. Up until recently, psychologists thought that getting rid of most or all of your negative emotions was what's best for your health and well-being. However, new research suggests that getting angry in an appropriate way actually helps you deal with difficult situations and makes you more likely to succeed. The trick is figuring out how to get rid of your anger without losing control.
There are several different strategies we can use to deal with angry feelings:
If you're feeling stuck on what to do when you're mad, sometimes the best thing to do is take a break — a deep breath or maybe even jumping up and down a little will help calm down your body and mind. You also might want to consider writing out exactly what's making you angry, as well as describing how others might see the situation (this can really help).
The next step is to figure out why you're angry. Are you mad about something that happened in the past? Did someone do something you didn't like? Did a situation just make you upset, even if there's nothing specific to be angry about? If you can figure out what specifically has made you mad, then you can know how to deal with it better. You could try asking yourself questions and writing down your answers or drawing pictures of what's making you angry in order to work through it.
For example, if someone hit your sister but then walked away without apologizing later on, that might make you really annoyed with the person. If you tried to ask the person why they did it without apologizing, and they just said, "I don't know," then that might just make you even madder. You could write about this to help deal with angry feelings about what happened.
Try going for a walk or exercising — it can be great way to deal with your emotions. If you're too angry to do that or too busy, listen to some music you like, maybe sing along to your favorite song. Getting away from the situation will help calm down your anger a little so you can see things from another perspective.
If you feel like you want to harm someone, or if you're thinking about actually hurting yourself, your best bet is to talk to someone you trust that can work through the situation with you. You could go to a counselor, or even a friend who can help hold you accountable for what's going on without making you feel bad when things are not going well and things are not going your way.
A professional can help guide you toward better ways of dealing with anger and teach how it might be affecting your life — in addition to possibly giving some tips on how to deal with anger more effectively. You might also want to write out your thoughts, feelings, and emotions and talk about these with a counselor.
If you really want to learn how to deal with anger in a healthy way, then it's worth it to consider getting professional help. This can include psychologists and other mental health professionals who can help you find effective ways of dealing with difficult situations that make you mad — especially if you're having problems not just with anger but also with dealing with other things like anxiety or depression.
Try setting up a "grudge fund." If someone does something that makes you angry, decide on how much money it would take for you to forgive them (i.e., $100). Then, if you actually end up forgiving them, give them that money as a way to let go of your anger. If you don't forgive them, then it goes into your savings account — to do with whatever you wish. There's something about putting a price tag on forgiveness that makes it easier to let go of anger.
And remember, even though feeling angry is normal, that doesn't mean there's nothing wrong with getting angry or dealing with anger in unhealthy ways. Recognizing how upsetting and damaging the world can be is totally cool — but not if it hurts us or someone else. But if you're just having trouble figuring out how to handle your anger in a healthy way — and especially dealing with the feelings of anger that you don't express outwardly but are still there — then it might be worth it to talk to someone who can help provide alternative strategies for managing these difficult emotions.
Citations: How Do I Manage My Angry Feelings? (Mind Hacks), Anger-Related Mental Health Problems (NAMI) accessed Feb. 16, 2015.
Additional reading: Uncontrollable Anger Can Trigger Serious Mental Health Problems, New Study Says (Huffington Post)
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Read more: http://elitedaily.com/news/world/angry-emotions-healthy-way/1539371/
The recent shootings in Tucson and Norway have once again brought the issue of violence to the forefront of our societal consciousness and attention. As we struggle with the sometimes seemingly contradictory question, “why would anyone do such a thing – murder people that is?” we are encouraged to look for answers in every nook and cranny in order to find out why these things happen and what can be done so that they will stop. But unfortunately, we cannot always expect to find the answers in a quick and easy fashion. We change our minds all the time, which is a good thing, but sometimes our minds can be so full of information that there is no room within to accommodate this new knowledge. We have come to accept an idea as true either because it has been programmed into us over the years or we have accepted it simply because everyone around us has accepted it as true in order to get along in life. When information challenges such a view, we may throw out the old and believe that what was true before must be false now because it contradicts something new.
Conclusion: The truth is that there are no easy answers to any of these questions and, given the frequency of these types of events, we cannot expect to find them. A different approach is needed – a method that takes into account the entire spectrum of human experience instead of just the physical and chemical components.
I have chosen to provide an environment for those who suffer from anger problems and others who may be interested in more information about it to read about this subject. To begin with, let us consider what does anger mean.