Boundaries And Addictions
Boundaries and Addictions
There are many types of addictions and boundaries in life. There are mental boundaries, such as personal space lines, emotional boundaries, and physical boundaries. A recent study showed that children who have clear physical boundaries do much better when they feel safe enough to explore their world. Today’s society also has a problem with addiction-related addictions like substance abuse or gambling addiction. These types of addictions can make your life difficult if you don’t take the time to set personal limits that don’t allow such behaviors in your life. Psychologist John Martinez explains that “addiction is not a moral failing but rather a disease—a chronic disease process…. It can be managed but not cured” (p. 33). While this statement is true in many situations, addictions can be rapidly elevated to the point that it becomes more difficult to handle due to the nature of the substance. Alcohol, a common example of addiction, "romanticizes rather than tends, while it destroys" (p. 43).
Boundaries are personal limits that generally protect you against harm or exploitation (e.g., by others). They are often invisible, so it’s important to identify and honor them. If you are struggling with addiction or a body-image problem, for example, take time to reflect on your boundaries. It will be difficult not to react in the short term, but once you identify where your lines are, you’ll be able to respond to situations from a place of safety.
It is also helpful to incorporate behaviors into your life that help reinforce healthy habits and boundaries. For instance, if you have difficulty managing your eating habits; set aside time each day to eat (e.g., at lunchtime), make small portions (e.g. measuring food or eating off of a smaller plate), or write down your food intake to help identify problem areas. You might also set limits on the amount of time you spend watching television, which is often a sedentary behavior that doesn’t allow you to move beyond the idea of escape.
You might resist setting boundaries because they feel confining, but as long as they are clear and realistic, boundaries can also be seen as supportive and positive. In fact, if you’re struggling with an addiction that is negatively impacting your life; taking steps toward setting limits (even if just a few at first) will help mitigate some of the negative impact you feel in other areas.
The following are some other helpful tips to incorporate into your life that will help you define and build healthy boundaries:
Regularly logging your activities, habits, and thoughts. You can accomplish this task by using a journal or diary, or through the use of mobile apps. This form of self-monitoring has been proven to be helpful in increasing awareness, reducing depression, lowering stress levels, and improving overall mental health.<ref>Marchione AP. Using mobile technology for self-monitoring: a review of the evidence. Research Review 2009;6(4):203-206.</ref>
Making time for exercise. There’s no question about it; physical activity improves mood.<ref>Thomas N. Robinson, Ph.D., “Exercise to reduce stress”, The New York Times, 11 October 2013. </ref>
Identifying and changing habits that negatively impact your life. Taking time to reflect on these in an objective manner will help you gain clarity on how your actions are affecting you or others. You might even develop a list of actions that you can take to change bad habits and improve your life.<ref>Reid Wiggin, Author of Into the Magic Shop. Blog post on Huffington Post.com, 2 August 2012. </ref>
Regularly practicing mindful breathing. In this exercise, you will spend a few minutes each day identifying and focusing on your breathing pattern. You can do this by sitting quietly, clearing your mind of distractions, and simply observing the flow of your breath in and out.<ref>For more information, visit http://www.mindful.org/what-is-mindfulness/practicing-mindfulness/body-and-breath</ref>
There are even more ways to help you set healthy boundaries in your life and practice healthier habits, but at its core; the most important aspect is to learn how to identify where your boundaries are so that you can build upon them in a positive manner.
For more information on this topic, go to http://www.apa.org/monitor/sep11/boundaries.aspx?page=1
References:
Martinez, J. (2010). Boundaries and addictions: When to say yes, when to say no, and how to stay sane. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers.
Marchione AP. Using mobile technology for self-monitoring: a review of the evidence. Research Review 2009;6(4):203-206. October 2009.</ref> ARTICLE AUTHOR Todd Nienkemper BEDS 4600 Marquette University
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Conclusion
Learning how to set boundaries and become more assertive is a process that requires patience and confidence in yourself. When learning new skills, you will likely experience some setbacks or failures, but as long as your goal is to improve your life, you will benefit from taking small steps toward greater self-awareness and self-confidence.
The most important aspect of setting a boundary is being able to recognize it in the moment. For example, if someone cuts in front of you in line at the grocery store; control your reaction by telling yourself that this isn’t an emergency situation and you will have another opportunity tomorrow.