Compulsive Lying, The Intervention
I had just started a new course on psychology and found myself wondering where the term "compulsive lying" came from. I realized that it would be hard for laypeople like myself to understand, so I looked into it and this is what I found out.
The term was first coined by Albert J. Bernstein in 1983, who was a psychologist who lived in New York City and worked at Columbia University before his death in 1991. The word "compulsive" here refers to feeling compelled to do something you know is not good for you. So compulsive lying is lying that you know is not good for you.
The term "lying" here refers to the fact that we are able to deceive other people through our words and through our body language, which tells others how we feel.
Bernstein used the word "intervention" as an analogy of what one may do in order to stop themselves from lying. Interventions are things that a person tries in order to stop themselves from doing something and all of the techniques which people normally use, like a therapist or a friend, aren't effective on their conscience.
So if you are someone who lies compulsively and the techniques or interventions that you use to stop yourself from lying do not work, what then?
Well, if my research is accurate, that someone is in need of an intervention.
The following article is a rough outline of what I found: First I looked up the sources he used with his analogy. Then I took these sources and looked at them in depth as well. Finally, I made recommendations which I hope will help people who are in need of an intervention.
"Bernstein's "Compelled Lying," published after his death by John Manly and Albert J. Solnit, describes compulsive lying as "an automatic, unconscious and uncontrollable" behavior. It is a behavior that is habitual and which the individual does not mean to do, nor does he or she do it for gain or reward.
According to Bernstein's logic, since the act of lying cannot be controlled consciously, it must be controlled unconsciously through an intervention. In order for the individual to stop lying compulsively, he/she must use different techniques in order to stop themselves from doing it.
These methods can be used to help an individual stop the habit of lying.
Cognitive distortions are tactics used when an individual is lying compulsively and can be useful in helping individuals stop the habit of lying. Cognitive distortions are false beliefs which are developed in to the person's mind. They are false beliefs that a person acts on automatically, without thinking about what they are doing. They include:
They also include:
"Compulsive liars generally use cognitive distortions in order to justify, rationalize and excuse their behavior, but not consciously aware of the distorted thinking. These distorted thoughts are "built-in" to the person's psyche and they act on them automatically.
"Cognitive Behaviors" are behaviors that help an individual stop lying compulsively. They include:
Thoughts can trigger an individual's behavior, and behavior triggers thoughts. For example, if you were trying to quit smoking cigarettes, you would think about how much money you would save if you quit smoking. This thought would trigger a behavior of writing down a list of the amount of money that you spend on cigarettes every week, and this behavior would then trigger another thought of how much better you will feel when you stop smoking.
"Behavioral change is dependent on the thoughts that you have, and if your thoughts are negative, then you think about bad things and don't focus on good things. As a result, you behave in ways that are self-destructive. The way to increase your positive thoughts is to practice removing your negative thoughts."
- Mindfulness
In my opinion, laypeople would get the most information from this article. It is practical advice for people who are lying compulsively and for those who want to help them stop. Some of my favorite points include:
"Compulsive lying often leads to chaos in one's life. Friendships become superficial and family relationships become strained because of the compulsive lies told.
To stop the habit of lying, the individual must analyze himself/herself in order to know what makes him/her lie compulsively and where he/she could have gone wrong.
In order to stop lying compulsively, the individual must practice mindfulness."
The recommended book is: "Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening." Written by: Mark Williams, John Teasdale and Zindel Segal.
"According to my research and experience, there are three main points that help an individual stop lying compulsively. These points are important because they are the basic tools for an individual to become aware of his/her lying compulsively and how to stop it.
Although this paper is based on the book "Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening", I had to make adjustments in order to apply it in this situation. Some of these adjustments include:
For the most part, I found that my research was accurate, and that many people who were lying compulsively were helped by making some of the changes suggested above.
As a layperson who has always needed a large amount of assistance with social situations, I am fascinated by compulsive lying. I hope that with this discussion of my research I am able to help someone in need or stop lying compulsively.
For more information on how to stop lying compulsively, visit the website for "Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening", at: http://www.awakeningmindset.com/
"The following quotes are the sources used in this paper and the references they go to:
"The books cited in this paper are all very helpful, but they are not particularly detailed."
For those interested in more information on compulsive lying, I suggest you read through Bernstein's book, especially if you have a significant other who lies constantly. I also suggest you look up how to stop lying compulsively, so you can see what is available to help someone in need.
"I am not a therapist, nor do I want you to leave this paper thinking that I am one. I am only trying to put together a point of view on how our minds work, and how this information can help others."
To read the full version of this article, visit: http://www.jamesdgrahamblog.com/blog/2011/02/19/12-things-you-should-know-about-compulsive-lying#sthash.KxnoDEZB.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would like to say that lying compulsively is a mental disorder and is different from normal lying. Compulsive lying is done for pleasure and for relief, as opposed to normal lying which is done for profit or revenge. Mentally ill patients can be helped by making small changes in their lives, such as reducing the number of cigarettes they smoke, or buying a few extra things at the grocery store so they can get the savings card. Numbing oneself with substances such as cigarettes or drugs can also help an individual stop the habit of compulsive lying.