Forcing Your Goals Versus Empowering Your Dreams
We all have goals, but are they our own or are they being forced on us by society? Too often we hear people say, "I don't know what I want to do with my life." It's not that these individuals don't have dreams and passions; it's just that their goals were made for them.
Do you feel like your current life is a series of steps towards someone else’s vision for you? It's time to look at your priorities and start living the life of your dreams. Focus on the things you love doing and start a path towards achieving your goals from within.
What follows is an exploration into how following your emotional desires rather than societal expectations can lead to a more fulfilling existence.
To start, let’s define goals and dreams. A goal is what you want to achieve. A dream is what you would like to experience. Goals are not always logical, but rather a series of emotions, desires and ambitions. Dreams can be anything from this to the complete opposite of your goals. You can have a dream that includes your child or traveling the world or making it through college without getting a job out of college at all (something I definitely did). It does not matter how crazy your dreams may appear, what you need to do is to follow them and make them happen.
Society forces us to follow the goals that they have for us and it can be difficult to let loose of those expectations. Changing yourself and trying to live the life you desire can be just as difficult. We are taught from a young age what we should want in life wrong from an early age. Even in earlier articles I've written on ambition, I've mentioned how society teaches that a person needs a specific degree in order for someone to make money or be successful. In reality this is just not true, but perception does play a large role in making us who we are today. Because of this, if you don't fit the mold you must change to fit the pre-existing idea of what success is. Society teaches us what the end result should be and gives us a path towards that, but it doesn't tell us how to get there.
The way you live your life is far more important than if you become rich or famous or have a huge job title at your company. If you are happy with yourself and are comfortable in your own skin, then that's success enough.
Society has a lot of expectations in regards to who should fit into each job category and it can be very difficult to not only do well but also role-play in their image. I've had to fit into whatever the job requires me to do and I've done a fairly good job of it, but at the same time I've always felt that I'm not what they are looking for. My goals have been in place forever and they don't fit into my current situation.
I had to make a choice, success as defined by society or happiness within myself. I chose happiness. This is something everyone should consider when discussing their goals and dreams. You can choose your own goal one day and you mustn't be afraid of it just because it doesn’t match someone else’s idea of success.
One thing you should know about me is how passionate I am about two things: writing and psychology. I love writing because I get to explore the world and talk about my views on it. Writing is a very personal thing for me; I feel as though only I can write about what is going on within me. Psychology is something that fascinates me because of its ability to explain human behavior. It's very useful in trying to understand others and help them adjust to their surroundings.
Society and culture has made us believe that we need a certain person, education or job title in order for us to be successful, but this isn't true at all (again perception plays a big role). One thing we must do when setting goals is consider what it wants us to do and then do the opposite of that. To start, let's talk about goals.
What you want out of life depends on what your desires are. If you think feeling a certain emotion is necessary in order for you to be happy, then ask yourself how much do you want that emotion and how much will it cost you? For example, I desire affection. I crave it every day and my desire for it can be extremely embarrassing at times. It can blossom into something positive like the love of a close friend or family member or it can turn into the emptiness of emotional abandonment which seems to be more common than we realize.
Conclusion
Society has a very interesting way of trying to get you to follow their idea of success. It's not always accurate, but it's there nonetheless. By throwing out a goal or a dream that doesn't match their idea of success, they get you to change your behavior in the name of meeting their expectations. They have no idea that you are pursuing something else entirely and don't care because they have chosen something for you that does not match your original ideas.
There is nothing wrong with having goals and dreams, but it's important for us to understand what our true desires are so we can live the lives we want.