Giving And Receiving
In some relationships, the person who "gives" is viewed as a charitable good Samaritan while the person who "receives" is seen as a reluctant necessity. In other relationships, however, giving and receiving take on a different meaning. According to Sherry Pagoto in an article for Psychology Today, giving and receiving are both important for maintaining our physical and emotional health; not just during intimate moments but in all types of situations. The article goes on to mention that giving and receiving can also be used interchangeably because it is not about that one individual controlling the situation. It's about deeply connecting with someone through mutually beneficial activities such as conversation or play. In order to have a healthy relationship, the receiver needs to be able to give in return.
When someone talks about giving and receiving, they are referring to the way that one person wants to feel communicated with, while the other person wants to feel nurtured. This communication will allow both parties to grow and develop as individuals. It can be as simple as letting your partner know when you are having a rough day or just an honest conversation about what's going on in life. Receiving is also about being intuitive and listening without judgment or criticism. This allows your partner to know that they are appreciated and can provide a sense of security and trust.
It is also important that both parties try to learn new things in the relationship. This can be something easy such as learning how to play a new sport or difficult such as learning a new language or career path. By working on something together, both partners will view the relationship in a better light and see that it's not simply about them, but about them becoming better people through working together. With an open mind and time for learning, relationships can foster ways to improve our lives through loving activities as well as improving our self-esteem.
When we let go of the idea that we need to be in control during intimacy, it becomes easier to truly connect with another person. By being open to learning new things and working on making a relationship better through engagement, sharing and learning, both parties will benefit greatly.
How do you take care of yourself?
The title of this post is Getting Off the Perch , a reference to an article that I wrote on how mentally unhealthy people can help others by promoting positivity. If you haven't read it yet, you can find it here . Looking for other ways in which we can all be active and positive members of our community? Check out my blog and follow me on Twitter . [ARTICLE END]
The Significance of the Sanguine Temperament
"Happy" is a word that is used a lot these days. It's usually associated with good things, such as getting something we want or being looked at in a good way. But what does it truly mean? Is it as simple as feeling ecstatic about everything we do? Or does happiness come in so many different forms that it doesn't always feel like "pure" joy? It's even possible that there are different kinds of happiness, each with their own nuances and effects on a person's life.
Since ancient times, philosophers have used the novel concept to understand happier states of mind. In particular is the definition of a sanguine temperament. Believed to be a choleric-melancholic temperament, this type of person is said to be cheerful and optimistic, with a passion for life. More recently, the term "extrovert" has been used to describe this personality type. In philosophy, an extrovert was someone who had external interests as opposed to an introvert who sought comfort in solitude (or at least did not seek out the company of individuals).
In modern times, terms such as extrovert and introvert are used quite often. However, the way that these terms are used is not always correct. First, the extrovert is technically anyone who gets energy from outside sources; it's not a specific personality type. Second, introverts aren't necessarily shy or have problems being social. It's just that they have to be more intentional about seeking out interaction, since that interaction is not as automatic for them (at least in comparison to an extrovert).
The concept of introversion and extroversion was first written about by Carl Jung , who did so in his 1921 book Psychological Types . Personally, I like this theory because it has one thing going for it: simplicity. It's easy to understand. So it's no wonder that so many people recognize it and use it without questioning its validity. While these personality traits can be useful for society, there is in fact a problem: the extrovert's thinking style is based on one of two ways to think; left brain or right brain.
Looking at this from a biological perspective, our left and right hemispheres control certain actions. Our dominant hemisphere controls our left hand, while our non-dominant controls our right hand. Neuroscientists have found evidence that certain parts of the brain are also associated with a person's dominant side as well. In the case of human beings, this side is probably determined by genetics.
I was interested to find that the most common personality types among Westerners are associated with one of two hemispheres. When you look at the Sanguine temperament according to Jung's theory, it's also a dominant hemisphere trait. I'll just be using "therm" (as in temperament) as an abbreviation for temperament and "te" (as in hemisphere) as an abbreviation for the right side of your brain.
In order to fully understand the effects of each hemisphere on personality and behavior, we need actual evidence from science. Unfortunately, the research is not entirely conclusive. So if you're interested in this subject, here are two articles for you to read that might make your understanding better. They don't necessarily provide answer, but if enough people were to work on this problem it might improve the situation for all of us:
The Different Ways the Right and Left Brain Work Together . . . a lot of times
The Edge of Personality: The Differences Between Left and Right Brains (available at http://www.edgeofpersonality.org/the-edge-of-personality/)
The Science Behind Left/Right Brain Subtraction
It's important to note that these personality traits are only genetic variants as mentioned above. As we grow older and experience life, both aspects of ourselves can be developed. For example, we can become more social and more extroverted as we gain more life experience. Many people think that the way a person thinks is determined by their age, but this isn't true in many cases. In the end, our personality has to do with genetics (as opposed to learned behaviors) when it comes to personality traits like extroversion.
How much of your own personality comes from your genetics? Please tell me what you know in the comments below!
This is where I stop my research for today.
Conclusion
I think that the Sanguine personality is one of the most interesting types to study in psychology. I'm always interested in things that make sense, but aren't always easily reconciled with modern theory. I'm also fascinated by Jung's theory because it's so simple and straightforward. It explains why my college roommate (a Sanguine) is a lot like me, even though we've never talked about his/her temperament .
If you'd like to see an essay I wrote on this topic, you can find it here .
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Giving And Receiving