Have You Become A Compulsive Spender?
There is nothing more satisfying than finding a bargain. But bargains can quickly turn into an addiction and you find that you’ve begun to spend money for the sake of spending it. Before long, you’re overdrawn, your credit card balances are maxed out, and your debt is sky-high. You’ve become a compulsive spender.
Learn what causes a person to overspend compulsively, symptoms of compulsive spending habits, how to get help on the path to recovery from being a compulsive spender or being in debt due in part or whole by some type of overspending behavior patterns - even if it's occasional - plus some tips on how not to become one.
"Spending is an addiction that feeds itself," says Judith Pennington, PhD, author of The Courage to Be Rich. "It doesn’t just involve shopping, but overspending on everything: food , entertainment—you name it. You go into debt and you can’t get out because you want a new dress or new car."
Dr. Judith Pennington has spent 25 years treating compulsive spenders —and she has discovered that there are 25 traits that characterize a person who has the illness of overspending and compulsive spending behaviors - which is different than just "being a shopper" and then there are those who have the disease of being addicted to spending in general.
"A person could be an overspender or a compulsive spender and yet not be addicted to spending," says Dr. Pennington. "They spend money on things they perceive they need, but they don't have a compulsion to buy."
See below for more details on the 25 signs of compulsive spending habits - many of which are also signs of being addicted to spending in general.
The Compulsive Spender Syndrome: 25 Signs of Compulsive Spending Habits [ARTICLE BEGINS HERE] The diagnosis is made when the person has spent beyond their means, unable to control their spending, and does not know where the money is coming from.
The compulsive overspender becomes a workaholic, and then spends all of the money earned. They may come from a wealthy family, but they have no interest in their family's wealth, (or they may be living off of their spouse's earnings).
Their home is generally cluttered with things they do not need while naked walls reflect their poverty. There are bills that are unpaid and there are unfilled credit cards - and yet the person cannot stop spending.
The person has a very low sense of self-worth. For most of the year, they are maintaining their appearance, but in the hot months, they feel bad and hide behind black sunglasses.
They have a complex sense of entitlement and they see themselves as superior to other people. They are always at "war" with everyone else, believing that others are exploiting them by not paying them enough.
They have an undercurrent of shame that fuels all of the above behaviors, which means that the compulsive overspender does not respond well to anyone who is not a compulsive spender like themselves.
These people have a tremendous difficulty letting go and having faith in others - even those closest to them. They are quick to anger and they get very defensive. They cannot handle criticism and they do not go out of their way to acknowledge compliments.
The compulsive overspender is so busy stockpiling things and getting ready for the future that the person does not spend the time necessary to enjoy their life. In fact, enjoyment is one of their major goals in life - and yet it never materializes.
It can be difficult to identify a person who is addicted because every day, we wake up with a new identity; a new job, family, friends, etc . . . The next day, we wake up with all of these old roles again.
An overspender's behavior can be similar to gambling addiction. They are always on the lookout for ways to make more money, and they seem to have an unusual amount of knowledge about gambling odds and winnings.
The compulsive overspender is constantly looking for new things and new experiences that they do not have. They are unlikely to find a partner in life as they are always looking outside of themselves, but they may find someone who wants all of the things they are trying to obtain.
The compulsive spender has a strong need for rescue by being rescued. They tend to be very trusting and this can lead them into huge financial situations because others often promise the perfect solution for their problems.
This person is most often a person who has been appropriately rewarded in their life, but they are unable to stay within the boundaries of a relationship. They are always in trouble with someone - and they attract new people just as easily as they betray them.
The compulsive overspender thinks that everyone should be as charitable or indulgent of their wants and desires as they are. Their sense of entitlement is always on high alert and when it isn't, the person feels like a victim.
They have difficulty maintaining close relationships because of their need to be independent, yet this person has great difficulty forming any kind of authentic relationships. They may have more acquaintences than friends and more acquaintances than family members.
The compulsive overspender is often a woman or young single person who is here on a temporary basis. The person has no security, so when they leave, they immediately start looking for someone else who they can trust will be nice to them.
The overspender will have difficulty finding a job that fits with the way he or she spends money. This can lead to many jobs and many relationships in which the spender tries to find fulfillment and security in money.
They are unable to sleep at night because of their overspending habits, which means that they cannot enjoy life because they are constantly upset about money.
They are a "big spender" who has trouble controlling their spending, but when the person is high on drugs, they are a "small spender."
The person may have tried several times to control money but the problem cannot be contained because there is no acknowledgment that it exists. For example, the same person may manage money for another family member and fail miserably, yet they never question themselves.
The compulsive overspender will make up excuses to spend money and they will ask others to give them money - or they will steal or borrow from others. They may have changed jobs multiple times in order to have better paychecks. When their behavior is challenged, they become defensive or angry.
They have a compulsive need to prove that they are special, and this may lead them to hide what they should be doing behind the facade of their price tags.
The compulsive overspender is often very critical and judgemental of others. They are not able to recognize that there is a real need for help because they do not believe that anyone would ever be okay with them being in the same room with them.
The person will never admit defeat and will never say "I screwed up." They will spend all of their money before admitting that they were wrong. For example, if a family member has lost money, the compulsive overspender will spend even more without acknowledging how foolish it is.
Conclusion
A compulsive overspender will try anything to avoid examining their life, which means that they will use money in order to never have to admit defeat. This can cause them to flip-flop between being a big spender and a small spender.
It is rarely the case that compulsive overspenders are helped by giving them more money. They believe they have more than enough, which makes it difficult to ask for help. Asking for help can be easier when someone else asks them for help - but this doesn't happen.
Because the person spends money compulsively, there is an undercurrent of shame that fuels the whole thing.