How to be successful
What makes someone successful?
There are many different ways to define success, depending on both the individual and the context. Success can be measured in terms of higher education, occupational title, monetary income, family life or any number of other metrics. For some people however success is defined at the individual level. They define it as feeling good about who they are and happy with their life choices. This definition of success means different things to different people but can include having a sense of purpose or finding personal satisfaction through relationships with others or personal growth and development.
In order to assess your own level of success, ask yourself what is important to you. Do you find personal achievement more important than material gain? Are you most fulfilled by spending time with your family and friends? Or do you prefer a challenge that pushes you out of your comfort zone? Do you prefer working alone or in a team? What makes you feel proud of the choices made in your life?
What do I mean by "successful"?
I define "successful" as enjoying meaningful relationships with others, feeling good about yourself and achieving goals that are personally important to you. I believe it is also helpful to feel like you have some control over what happens in your life.
What I think success doesn't mean
Being successful in life is a very personal thing and everyone's idea of success will be different. Success also doesn't mean working yourself to death in order to earn more money or become a more prestigious individual. It certainly doesn't mean becoming successful at the expense of other people, their feelings or relationships and it definitely doesn't mean being successful by manipulating people and situations in your favor.
I believe that your level of success should be measured by how happy you feel about your life on an ongoing basis and not by your position, possessions or achievements. I think you should be able to work hard and have a sense of purpose in life, but you should also have time for personal enjoyment.
Cool tip: If you feel down about your life or someone else's, ask yourself "why" even though you might not know the answer.
Why focus on success?
I believe that lasting happiness is a big part of being successful and that getting happy is an important component of living on a higher level. I think in order to achieve this focus on happiness, it's important to keep the following points in mind:
Success doesn't mean working harder or longer than anyone else.
Success doesn't mean making lots of money or having more possessions.
Success doesn't mean reaching a higher level of education or skills.
Success doesn't mean having a higher level of achievement in any particular area.
I am not saying that you should stop working hard and taking on challenges, but I think it's important to remember that the ultimate measure of success is how happy you are with your life, not what happens to you. You can always work harder or longer - but the idea that you can be successful in order to earn more money, gain status or become more knowledgeable is a very limited and limiting way of looking at things.
What is the meaning of success anyway?
I think the idea that we are leading successful lives if we are fitting into a certain mold is rather reductionist and simplistic. I believe that there are many different paths to happiness, that each individual takes and they should always be respected. I think it's too simplistic to say that you are successful if you are being happy or satisfied with your life, because there will always be something more you could do, change or achieve in any area of your life.
There is no magic number that determines if you are successful. There isn't a specific metric or measure for what makes someone successful but rather what makes them happy and comfortable with their lives.
This is why I have a problem with saying things like: "I'm successful if I am a doctor or lawyer, or if I have a very high status job." Unless this is what you really want, it's something you need to take on board. It's important that you feel fulfilled and you are enjoying your life. If you don't, then maybe it isn't the way for you to go.
I believe that all the different elements of success should be respected, not feared. You can be successful in any area of your life, no matter what else is going on.
Where first you're in school, and then you get a job, and then you get married, and then you have a kid. And it breaks down. I think life is more like a card game where every few years there's a new shuffle, and a reshuffle of the cards… as your interests change or as your values change. So really every decade of your life has to have its own focus, it's own theme.
Warren Buffett
It's important to remember that if someone else measures their success by something different from what you do, it doesn't mean they are wrong or that they are any less successful than you in their own right. Success has many different meanings depending on the individual who is experiencing it. It's important to remember that most of us are very different from each other and have very different values, beliefs, needs and desires.
This is why I prefer the term success rather than happiness. For me, success and happiness mean many similar things but there is a subtle difference in emphasis. If you are successful, you are actually doing something in your life that makes you happy. On the other hand, if you are happy with your life, it means that you feel good about the choices that you've made and the actions you take. I prefer the term success over happiness because it implies action - to be successful in anything means that we are constantly moving forward. Happiness, on the other hand, is more of a state of being or feeling.
So even though I agree with the quote from Buffett above that every decade of life needs to have its own focus and theme, I think it's important to remember not to attach yourself too much to that focus and theme. As time progresses and your values change, you should be open to changing the way you live your life. Remember that individual happiness is very personal and depends on several different factors. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy at all.
To me, success means being happy with my life as a whole - and not just in certain areas. I am happy if I feel successful in my career and with my relationships, but also when I'm relaxing by myself or with friends.
Success should give you freedom and fulfillment, not make you more restricted in any area of your life.
When I think of the word success, I think of being happy with your life and not worrying about what others will say or think. Success means being able to be who you are without feeling like you have to take action if it's not something that makes you feel good about yourself. Once we've reached a certain level of success, anything else is just extra. In fact, I'd argue that having too much success can actually be a problem in terms of finding happiness from your life as a whole.
Conclusion
Ultimately, I believe that success is a very personal thing and should not be measured by what someone else tells you it is. It's important to remember that success isn't an all or nothing thing. You can be successful in one area of your life and miserable in another - and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. All the different components of success are important, but they play different roles in our lives and should be respected as such. Happiness isn't an end goal but something that can happen wherever you may find yourself in your life.