How To Break The Addiction To Anger
Anger is like a drug, and addiction to it can do harm to the body and mind. What's true for drugs is also true for anger - it leaves you wanting more. It provokes a fight or flight response, either physically or emotionally. But what if you could break your addiction to anger without fear of relapse? By learning six strategies that will help you break your dependence on anger as a coping mechanism, you'll be able to reside in peace rather than becoming trapped by this malicious emotion.
What fuels the anger habit?
We can all get angry. The human body is equipped with a limbic system (emotional brain) that deals with emotions immediately and instinctively. This emotional brain enables us to survive as a species. The emotional brain is also responsible for basic functions like breathing, eating, and sleeping. Anger sometimes signals that there's a threat to your well-being. In turn, it helps you stand up for yourself or your loved ones by getting you ready to fight or flee from danger physically or emotionally. So while anger can protect, it can also cause damage to relationships when it's mismanaged over time.
The history of anger
Anger is hardwired into the human brain. It's a natural emotion that emerges in situations of danger and threat, as well as when basic needs are met. The emotional brain is so powerful that it can cause physiological changes in your body, from increased heart rate to muscle tension and blood pressure. And studies have shown that anger can lead to physical problems like ulcers, high blood pressure, irritable bowel syndrome and headaches. Studies also have shown that people who are angry tend to engage in risk-taking behaviors or activities like drinking (or drug use) which can lead to injury or even death.
How anger works
Emotional pain is not always apparent on the outside. You might not realize that you're angry if it goes unexpressed or unacknowledged.
How anger works can be illustrated by the example of a co-worker who comes to a meeting unprepared and makes a mistake which leads to loss of business for your company. If you react with anger and lash out, your co-worker may get defensive - and the conflict between you grows. And although getting angry seems justified or normal, it's important to notice how emotions work rather than being swept away in the heat of an argument.
If you're someone who tends to hold things in and bottle up your emotions, your anger may manifest physically. Stress builds up, which can lead to migraines, muscle tension and high blood pressure.
Physical manifestations of anger
A hormone called adrenaline, which produces the so-called "fight or flight" response in the body is secreted as part of an emotional response to anger. Adrenaline and other stress hormones that are secreted during periods of high stress can lead to illness like ulcers. Anger may also cause muscle tension or headaches.
Anger can also be physical - a hand might clench or your jaw might tense up. This physical manifestation can be triggered by trigger phrases. Many people experience the feeling of being "on the edge" of an emotional explosion when they hear certain phrases: "You're always so late". Or "I've had it with you" or "Why don't you ever call me back?" Alternatively, you might experience cravings for food, alcohol and drugs that remind you of your anger.
Is anger really so harmful?
Some say that anger is natural and healthy, like sexual desire in men; others believe that anger should not be indulged if it causes harm or pain to others or oneself. These viewpoints can be traced back to religious beliefs, or the philosophies of Buddha, Christ, and other spiritual leaders. Some people even take on the characteristics or personality traits of their anger - someone who's prone to anger might display characteristics like whiplash or explosive anger.
In some cases, you may not be aware that you're angry; it's only when you see your body acting out that you realize what you've been holding in. Anger can be managed and reframed so that it doesn't lead to physical symptoms. Even if we didn't make peace with our emotions, unhelpful emotions would still manifest as physical symptoms if they remained suppressed.
Find the feelings behind the anger
Anger can arise from various feelings that you may be experiencing. You might feel hurt or vulnerable at some point and express your anger toward another person. Anger can also arise from personal insecurities. For example, you might be angry with someone who's much more successful than you - maybe you're envious of his or her achievements, even if he (or she) is really not very good in other areas of life. Experiences as a child can also lead to anger triggers as an adult - for example, perhaps your mother was really harsh on you when you were a child and that led to resentment that persists into adulthood. Anger can also be triggered by desires that go unfulfilled when you don't get what you want. You might even develop a habit of lashing out at others when you don't get what you want.
Finding the feelings or emotions behind anger can help you manage this emotion more effectively. For example, if you're feeling afraid of losing your job, taking a step back to find out why you're afraid is the first step toward dealing with those fears about money and survival. Even if you're not aware of your anger, it's better to stop and find out what's behind it than let your anger get the best of you.
The most important step toward managing anger is to identify its triggers and feelings, so that you can address those feelings with gentleness and empathy rather than react in a physical way. You might also thank the person who caused this anger in a genuine way - it's okay to have an angry reaction toward your boss, but if you're really grateful for all she does for you - there isn't really any reason to be angry.
Take away any negative messages from past experiences
If an experience was traumatic or hurtful, resentful thoughts about that same individual may arise when faced again. These resentful experiences may lead to fears that provoke anger. Take time to identify these triggers and talk about them with others so you can evaluate the reality of your situation. If the experience was negative, try to forgive that individual and let go of the resentment.
In the end, it's important to remember that we're all human and each of us experiences anger at one point or another. And while it may not be easy at first, learning to manage your emotions (or your body) when you're angry is critical for your health and well-being!
James "Bo" Redford is a former Army Ranger who lost his left leg in an IED blast during his fourth tour in Iraq in 2005.
Conclusion:
James Redford lost his left leg in an IED blast during his fourth tour in Iraq in 2005. He has been through hard times, but he has never let that stop him. He is a strong, courageous man who is dedicated to helping other veterans through his work at combatwoundedveterans.org and other organizations he works with (Gold Star Wives, etc.) He has also appeared on television to discuss combat wounds, PTSD and how we can all help our wounded warriors.
I believe that everyone should read this book as we live in a society were everyone seems to be connected by social media.