Humanizing Communication Among Men And Women
As a man, you're probably not accustomed to hearing, "Would you mind grabbing that for me?" or "Please hand me my purse." And as a woman, you may be puzzled by the astonished look that's obviously an expression of how could I possibly be doing this?!"
Depending on your gender, in today's society there is still an expectation about what tasks are more appropriate for men and women. In order to prevent chalking up these differences to some kind of conspiracy theory or intentional sexism, we have laid out the reasoning behind why traditionally feminine roles are still expected in all aspects of society. Hopefully after reading this post you will have a better understanding the thought process behind who does what around the house--and outside it.
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Two major roles have historically been associated with men and women—lady in the home and man in the work force. It is important to understand that while these traditional roles are meant to reflect a general ideal, they have not kept up with society's more modern demands. Although these expectations may seem to be obvious, most people still want to know why there are still such gender-specific tasks assigned to each person. There are many reasons for expecting certain tasks (such as cooking, cleaning, and childcare) to be performed by one gender versus another--and most people intuitively understand why these expectations exist.
We hope to shed some light on why these gender roles are still so prominent in today's society, as well as some of the ways they might be changing.
Let's take a look at some reasons behind the traditional expectations of who does what.
It is important to note here that we are not saying that all men should do housework and all women should do outside work, but rather that everyone can do both and each person should perform those tasks which make them happy and feel fulfilled. This means that you may find it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman when it comes to doing your share of home work--in this case you are free to do what makes you happy and fulfilled.
The housework and childcare roles are often assigned to females (and the outside work roles reserved for men) because of their physical abilities. Most women are smaller, weaker and less physically able than most men. Generally, women also heal faster than men do. So generally a woman simply can't handle as much as a man can physically--and she won't be as good at it. With that being said, this doesn't mean that all women are fragile or have inferior strength or endurance because it is possible to find an equal in any category of physical ability. When this equal is found he/she will be able to do the same tasks that his/her counterpart does without fail and do them well.
Many would argue that these traditional gender roles are still relevant today as both sexes are responsible for the same types of tasks. This is a common observation, however in our view this generalization is not completely accurate. We feel that the roles of masculine and feminine are more complex than masculine being hard and tough and feminine being soft and caring.
One might argue that the only difference between men's and women's roles is that men do the dangerous work and women do the safe work. We find this conclusion to be a bit unfair to men who do dangerous work. The fact remains, however, that there definitely exists a distinction between where men should be doing their jobs and where women should be doing theirs.
The female gender has typically been assigned the job of taking care of children, cooking and other household duties. Men have historically had the unattached role of providing for those around him. This means that most women are responsible for the children, the home and everything else that goes along with being in a home. In this case they are responsible for putting out the fire and making sure everyone is healthy and safe. This can be a very stressful and exhausting position to be in, especially when it is not shared by everyone in your family--which we will discuss later on in this article.
The idea that men should be free to have sex with many different women and there is no harm in this is one of the most common arguments made against feminists. We do not necessarily disagree with the fact that men are typically allowed to have casual sex while women are frowned upon when they act in a similar fashion. However, we feel that this is only a part of the picture. Society allows motivated men to work and be successful outside of the home, however for women it is exactly the opposite. Men are expected (and sometimes forced) to go out into society and make their own way--and women who decide to do this are looked down upon as if they were "liberated" or "unladylike. "
While this is obviously an unfair view, it is also true that many men are expected to be the sole provider of their families. This means that they have a high obligation to work long hours, at times in dangerous and difficult conditions. Men who do not have a steady job have no choice but to either constantly work outside of the home or live in poverty like many women and children do. Ideally it would be ideal if both parents worked full time in order to support the family, however fewer women are expected or allowed to do such things these days due to discrimination. Many mothers are expected (and sometimes forced) to stay home with their children so that their husband can go out and provide for them.
Because of this, many single mothers typically spend more time with their children than they do spending time with themselves during their children's teenage years. This can create an extreme emotional burden on the women who are facing this task. Of course, there are some single fathers who have these same feelings, however studies have shown that more often than not it is the mothers who feel the brunt of this responsibility in regards to raising a family.
Another reason why men should be free to engage in sexual relations outside of marriage is because this allows for them to find out if they want children and if so when they are ready or willing. This is an important step, because men are not always ready to become a father. Some men (especially those who are not married) do not want to be burdened with raising a family before they have had the chance to live their lives and see what is out there.
Some women will argue, however, that it would be better if all women waited to get married before having sex as that way they would "save themselves" for someone special, who they knew would be able to stay with them forever. In these cases the same thing applies: men should be able to find out what they want without being forced by society into situations that conflict with their values and beliefs.
Some would argue that men should be allowed to have sex outside of marriage because it is "natural" for a man to want to spread his seed as far and wide as possible. In our view, this could be true--however the same things could be said about marriage. It is natural for a married couple to want to share their love with one another in every way possible--why shouldn't this also include sex?
Arguably, the most important aspect of any relationship (including but not limited to marriage) is communication. If either party does not feel comfortable or respected enough by the other person then there will be a breakdown in communication which ultimately leads to conflict.
Conclusion
The first two sections discussed the history of arranged marriages, dowries and the importance of family and community. The third section covered the traditional roles of men and women and how these roles have been changing in modern society (and why). The fourth section focused on how society has unofficially decided that women are the "weaker" sex and should be married off as soon as possible to provide a family while men are free to sleep with whomever they want as long as they can provide for them -- assuming, of course, that they can find someone who is willing to accept this arrangement.
These views clearly have issues with them, however we feel that a lot of these arguments could be interpreted in positive ways as well.