I Wonder Where the Wonder Went
Everybody feels the occasional sadness and anxiety when they think back on their childhood. That's just a natural part of growing up and becoming an adult. But as someone who has been struggling with mental health for years, I can also tell you that it is not unusual to lose feelings of wonder and happiness once we hit our teenage years. Sometimes it feels like those feelings never go away, no matter how much we want them to. And although we need to be mindful that depression can affect anyone at any age - even children - it's possible that one reason why people start feeling so blue is because they are growing up in a world where things just don't seem so magical or full of possibility anymore.
When I was growing up, there was a magical place called the arcade (remember arcades?). They were brick buildings with concrete floors and glass front walls filled with video games, pinball machines, pop-a-shot basketball hoops, pool tables and Skee-Ball. They were really dark inside and they smelled like cigarette smoke. The best part was that as soon as you walked in the door you could hear the sound of music coming from every direction. There were even giant speakers hanging from the ceilings. It was like stepping into a whole other world outside of my very small town where I felt very much alone. Those places were so popular that they started popping up even in the smaller towns in my state. And the fact that I could get lost inside an arcade felt like going to another universe where I could forget everything and everyone else who was working against me.
And then in my early teens, the arcades all but died away. They were replaced with malls filled with shops and restaurants. But those malls all pretty much looked the same. There weren't sound systems playing music to guide you into one store or another or a dark room filled with video games where you could hide from your parents for hours on end. And there wasn't that smell of smoke that made you feel like you were trapped inside a movie. I remember going to a mall near where I grew up and thinking how fake it all seemed. Psychologists might say that those changes are part of growing up and becoming an adult, but the truth is we should have never lost those feelings in the first place. We should have never stopped believing in magic, wonder, or feeling like anything was possible.
As kids, we spend years being told what to do by our parents who say things like "it's time to go" or "it's time for bed." And then as teenagers we are told by other people what classes to take and which colleges to apply to. And eventually we are told by our bosses what time to arrive at work and which projects to work on. We become so used to having other people tell us what to do that we stop thinking for ourselves. And it's not just adults who try to control our lives; it's peer pressure, the media, and even our friends on social media who keep us in line saying things like "you shouldn't do something because of this or that" or "you need to follow these rules if you want your life to be successful." We feel like we're always being told what's right for us, what's best for us, how we should think, feel and even act. And as a result we become very good at following others' orders instead of trusting our own instincts and developing our own interests, skills, and passions.
But it doesn't have to be that way. It is possible to regain those feelings of wonder and magic that we used to have when we were just little kids. It's possible to take back control over your life, break the rules and do whatever it is you want to do. It's up to you ...
-From "Where Did the Magic Go? An Essay on Disappearing Joy" by Frank Ciampi (pop culture psychology)
For More Information: http://popculturepsychotherapy.wikispaces.com/
Article: Hitting the Bottom: Why Depression and Anxiety Can Have a Bad Influence on Your Life
(11) Quote: "I don't know if I really have a whole lot in common with that guy." -Tommy Joe Ratliff, on sharing an opinion with his son. I was reading through the comments for the last post about Tommy Joe's quote in regards to sharing opinions on things, and I came across this comment from Tommy Joe's daughter. She talks about when she first heard her dad say that quote and her thoughts on his concerns about what would happen to their family if he had an unfavorable viewpoint towards someone or something. In the comment, it seems like she is implying that he was concerned about a change in their family dynamic.
(12) The Nashville Flood and Mother Nature (Part 1 / Part 2)
-This Friday's update will focus on the massive floods that hit Nashville, TN. According to this link , "the flood event was in some ways similar to Katrina." -The story overall is interesting, but I'm more interested in how two natural disasters can have such a huge effect on two completely different types of people. On one side you have the victims who were made homeless by the flood, and on the other hand you have some of Nashville's biggest country music stars who were affected as well. -Would you say that the story of how Mother Nature affects people in these two different ways is like the story of how certain people are naturally good at certain things and other people aren't? It's almost like some people are more prepared to handle a flood than others, even if they are both victims.
Posted by Don The Hypnotist at 9:00 PM No comments: Links to this post
I just finished a book called "The School at Columbia University" written by Gary Bennett and Richard J. Herrnstein. It's about a school that was created in the late 1960s with the intent to create a new model for learning that would essentially eliminate prejudice from society as it was taught by society. The school's premise was this: "At Columbia, you will be graded according to accomplishment, not appearance. You will work hard and learn much, or you won't. If you choose this path, there will be few rewards for appearance. But if you follow your natural talents and interests, there will be great rewards." The only problem is that kids from the same background are sorted into different levels based on how well they did at schoolwork during their childhoods. -The book details the circumstances of those kids who were so deeply affected by the school's premise that they began to lose all interest in participating in classes and even stopped speaking with their parents altogether. -I've read a lot of books over the years, but this one was enlightening to say the least. The premise and results of this school were fascinating to me, and I'd like to talk more about it in future posts.
Posted by Don The Hypnotist at 8:45 PM No comments: Links to this post
(1) One of the main reasons (among many) that I'm opposed to monogamy is that it's really boring. Most married people I know get up, go to work, come home, have dinner and watch TV or surf the net until they go back to bed. The same routine happens over and over again throughout the week. I'm not saying there shouldn't be any rules in terms of who is allowed to sleep with whom, but I just think that monogamy is a hard and boring lifestyle for most people unless they are into that sort of thing. -This may be old news, but it is definitely true. Monogamy can make you feel like you're living a very predictable life on a very boring schedule. The only way to break free from the monotony and boredom is to have other types of relationships, or to have an open relationship where you have the freedom to do whatever you want with whomever you choose.
(2) This is pretty cool: "I wanted my mother's approval.