Letting Go Of Mr. J.
When you first get together with someone, it's understandable to be in the honeymoon phase and want to spend every waking moment with them. But eventually, that feeling fades, and couples need to start exploring the idea of going solo—whether they're taking up hobbies or spending time just by themselves. This can be a tricky transition at first, but if you trust your partner and really take the time to think about why you want this change in your life, it'll make things a lot smoother. We've put together this post on how to let go of Mr. J. for a little bit so you can spend quality time without him.
Make Love, Not Art
As you start to separate from your partner, it's important to remember that it isn't any one person's responsibility to keep you from enjoying yourself. If a certain activity is something he simply can't get behind, don't force yourself to do it. Instead, find another way to make this part of your routine when you're by yourself. Try having "date nights" where you meet up with some friends and are open about what his limitations are.
Don't Be A Slave To The Past
When people break up, they usually think about all the great memories they made together and how long they've been together. It's important to remember that, although you're no longer in a relationship, you still have your own life and your own interests. The best way to do this is keep things fresh—spend time with friends, go out on dates with other people and work on some hobbies that you've always wanted to try.
Don't Forget To Re-Woo Your Ex
If you're the type of person who tends to get really attached and doesn't like the idea of anyone else being interested in their significant other, then it's very easy for you to forget about re-wooing your ex after a breakup. Just like after a breakup, if your ex goes through a breakup as well, they'll need some time to process everything that happened. Most likely, they'll be extremely vulnerable and looking for confidence in their next relationship. If you want to win them back, make sure you're taking the time to really show your ex how much you care about them and that you're not clingy or needy. It's important not to ignore any possible red flags in the relationship either.
If You're Happy Alone...
Ultimately, spending time alone is all about finding out what makes you happy. If that means spending time with other people and going on dates , then it's perfectly within your right to do so. Just make sure you're being smart about it and that you're not letting your emotions get the better of you. If you really are as content with being alone as you say you are, then there's nothing wrong with spending time alone. After all, this will allow you to explore your personal interests, goals and hobbies. This can be a great opportunity to figure out what it is exactly that makes you happy.
If You Choose To Move On
If at the end of the day, you realize that it's simply not working out with your partner, then there's no shame in ending things—even if you feel like a breakup might be too much for either of you to handle right now. It's important to know that you're making the best decision for yourself, and that this is a hard but necessary process. The sooner you realize that it isn't working out, the sooner you can start moving on with your life and figure out what you really want in a partner.
What To Do If You Can't Let Go
If after reading through this article and still want to cling on to Mr. J., then there are a few things you can do:
Put yourself first. Do things that make you happy , even if they don't involve him. Tell him how much he means to you, because if he feels like a priority in your life, it may not be right for either of you right now. Don't forget to take care of yourself.
If you think the relationship is worth it, then only you can decide if Mr. J. is the one for you or not. [END ARTICLE]
We were really flattered by this article and thought it was an interesting way to look at things (even though we don't necessarily agree with all of it). We hope you enjoyed it and found a way to relate to it.
We received some really positive feedback from this article and thought it was a really cool snapshot of our story that we wanted to share. Thank you so much for taking the time to read through it and hear our side of the story!
-Jonathan & Brianna :D
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Tagged: divorce, going solo, love, relationships, trust your partner • • • • Post inspired by this article featured on Cosmopolitan Korea: Letting Go Of Mr. J http://www.cosmopolitan.co.kr/ArticleView.html?idxno=102775 ↑ Back to top
Jonathan and Brianna are a couple living in Toronto. They've been together for almost four years and make a conscious effort to stay positive, happy and vibrant in both their personal and work lives. Jonathan is a financial services professional with an MBA degree, while Brianna is a student of Eastern philosophy who works with children with special needs. Follow them on Twitter: @BriannaCelina & @JGoodie22
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Conclusion
A breakup is always hard for both parties. It's important to try and understand what happened, and why things didn't work out between the two of you. The most important lesson from this article is to appreciate the relationship more than you let on to your ex-partner. Also remember that it's not all about you, and that you should take some time out of your busy schedule to make sure that your own needs are taken care of. We hope this article has helped shed some light on how things really are, rather than how it seemed to be at the time.
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Letting Go Of Mr. J.