Mid Life Crisis (MLC) Fact or Fiction? This too will pass...
The idea of your life needing to change, as you're stuck in a rut, has been around since the 1970s. The term "mid-life crisis" was coined by a psychologist by the name of Elliott Jaques and was further popularized by sociology professor William Pollack in his book "Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood". It's interesting to note that Pollack and Jaques studied many men who were between 30 and 50 years old that felt stuck in their lives and went through periods of depression before ultimately emerging on the other side with more vibrant lives. Pollack refers to this time as "the dark night. The crisis is inner stress or conflict, the night is made dark by the absence of a guiding star of inspiration, and insight comes in the dawn.". I find it interesting that both Pollack and Jaques were studying the same group of men during this transition period, because I believe that mid-life issues are common to all men regardless of age.
It's clear to see why they're referred to as crises – they're tough times in your life that give you no other option but to change something or go crazy. In my experience it's not uncommon for middle aged men to feel stuck in their lives and have an intense passion for something different. The best thing I've found to deal with any kind of mid-life crisis (and probably every type of crisis) is to simply do something different. Working on being happy, working on your relationships, doing things for yourself for a change and trying to find new ways to challenge yourself are all great ways to cope with the anxiety that comes along with starting over.
I believe that a common misconception about mid-life crisis is that it's a time when you have no other choice but to change – you become trapped in a rut and have no control put over your life. In my experience this is not true – you do have control over your life and can use your talents, experiences and choices to find untapped potential within yourself. This is not to say you can't feel like you're trapped in a rut, but I think it's important to be aware that you will get out – there are so many ways to escape that are right in front of your eyes if you just give yourself some time and space to breathe.
I remember being on the edge of a mid-life crisis around my 30th birthday while working at IBM in business consulting. I was one of the youngest guys there, and as far as I could tell, the happiest. I had an awesome apartment with mountain views, drove a fast car, went on ski trips every year with my friends and was always invited to the coolest parties. I was working towards my MBA in my second year of college and I had a great job at IBM where everything was going well. I felt like I was taking the right steps to be happy but then everything came to a crashing halt in the blink of an eye. My boss gave me bad news, he transferred me to California and I had to find a new place to live. And it was just like that – there is no good time for this kind of stuff, so it caught me off guard.
I've often thought about what could have changed if only I hadn't been so caught off guard by the changes. Like many people I was lucky enough to find coaching at age 33 to help me cope with the loss of my job, the uncertainty of my future and the start of a new chapter in my life. I couldn't have asked for a better fit than working with Coach Rob at The Coaching Institute – within just a few minutes he had me thinking more positively and applying those positive thoughts to move forward. I've spent years helping other business leaders navigate the tough times in their lives by first calming down and identifying what's really bothering them, then asking myself "What would my best self do?" and taking action. I applied these same concepts to my own situation and got to work.
At the time I was working on my MBA in Entrepreneurship with a focus on business development, so I decided to apply for a position at a growing software company that was about to go public called Business Objects. I ended up getting hired into their Professional Services Group as a business development consultant and spent the next years of my life working with some of the brightest people I've ever met. It wasn't an easy transition – shifting career tracks is never easy – but it was absolutely worth it because I learned so much in such a short period of time.
In retrospect, I'm grateful for my mid-life crisis because it forced me to explore other possibilities in life and helped me take the right steps to be happy. I don't feel like I was trapped in a rut – the choice to explore something different was there all along if only I'd been aware of it. It's very common for people to go through periods where they feel like their lives are out of control or on hold – this is completely natural, but you can choose how you respond by taking action and pursuing happiness. And remember that even if circumstances aren't ideal you can always choose how you respond – it's not an excuse to give up on yourself but an opportunity to tap into your inner power.
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Article source: http://www.addicted2success.com/articles/6-tips-to-overcome-the-midlife-crisis/
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Conclusion
As with many things in life, we learn by making mistakes. The funny thing is, the more we learn from our mistakes, the more successful we become. I hope that these articles have been helpful in helping you to realize and understand the importance of facing your mid-life crisis head on instead of ignoring it. It doesn’t matter how old we are; when you’re 40 or 50 years old you will go through a period where you feel as though all is lost. This stage in our lives is where every aspect of our lives comes into focus and it can truly be a turning point in our lives.