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 Self-Abandonment

Do you often find yourself going into a spiral of self-denial and self-doubt because of a perceived flaw in your appearance? This might be the sign of what psychologists call "body dysmorphia," an overwhelming dissatisfaction or distress due to how one perceives their physical appearance.

However, in reality, whatever flaws that we have are part and parcel of our humanity, and this is something we must embrace rather than reject out of our lives. Take this example:

While I was walking down the street one day, I saw a woman and man having a conversation by the roadside. The woman was wearing a beautiful, elegant black gown with a tasteful slit up her right leg. This was her evening gown, but it didn't take away from how she looked in it. The man who she was speaking to turned to look at me as he noticed me walking behind them, but then quickly turned away and went back to speaking to the woman.

The dialogue that I overheard went something like this:

Man: "Hey, gorgeous. Where did you get that gown?"

Woman: "I found it at a thrift shop in Brooklyn."

Man: "It's amazing."

Woman: "Thanks. You don't look so bad in your tuxedo yourself. I like to think that this is why we met."

Man: "I'm glad you like it. I feel handsome tonight. You look amazing."

Woman: "Thanks so much. You're sweet. We should get going now, though."

Man: (Turns to look at me again.) "Nice shoes." (Nods, turns back to woman.)

Woman: "You're funny!" (They walk away as she looks at him admiringly. They hold hands.)

What was so significant about this interaction? How did I, an oftentimes cynical man who rarely takes a genuine interest in other human beings, find it all so moving? The answer is simple: both the woman and the man were completely self-accepting and devoted to each other.

Yes, the woman was wearing a beautifully tailored gown that was "tasteful," and yes, the man looked handsome in his tuxedo, but both their self-worth and their love for each other soared way above what their appearance might have been.

This is a lesson we must learn in life: whatever flaws we have - whether it's a physical feature or something not so obvious - are simply part of our humanity. Miraculously, human beings are capable of living beautifully even when they do not look uniquely beautiful.

This is why we must practice self-acceptance. This is why we must learn to love ourselves even with our flaws. When we do, this will allow us to be truthful and sincere when we love someone else intimately in return, because they are the ones who deserve the truth and sincerity that we have given to them.

How can you practice self-acceptance? Here are two ideas:

The first step is awareness. If you are constantly hard on yourself and your flaws, then try to recognize when this is happening. By becoming aware of it, you'll be able to catch yourself when you're doing it and make a conscious decision to stop such thoughts or behaviors. You can also join a support group. You may find people who have similar feelings as you do. Find someone who's had success in dealing with their self-acceptance issues, and seek out the support they can give you.

The second step is action. The simplest and easiest step you can take is to practice self-acceptance internally, through meditation. Start by sitting still and being aware of your body from head to toe. Take note of every inch: your hair, skin, arms, legs, torso, etc., and then make a mental note of each feature - this includes any flaws or imperfections you may have (even minor ones).

Focus on the positive aspects that you find in your body. The next time you feel negative thoughts about your physical appearance, replace them with thoughts of love and appreciation. These are the thoughts that will help you to take care of yourself and become a truly beautiful person.

Author: Valentina Berberi, MD

Image: giphy.com/gifs/body-love-gif-143159475/

Image: giphy.com/gifs/body-love-gif-143159475/

Image: giphy.com/gifs/body-love-gif-143159475/

Title: Why Do We Feel Like We Have To Be Beautiful?

Wondering how we can improve our appearance and be seen as beautiful when society defines beauty in a certain way? Well, it is not uncommon that many women are unhappy with their looks. More than half of college women are said to experience significant negative emotions about their bodies. The percentage of young women who feel depressed as a result of body dissatisfaction is shocking.

Conclusion: There is a problem with the definition of beauty. Women are not just naturally beautiful but they have to take extra effort in order to be beautiful.

I have often wondered why we as women feel like we have to be beautiful. All this time, I thought that men would only find me attractive if I look perfect. This was because of the images that I see in magazines, or on television and movies. It would seem that being beautiful is a very difficult task, but it is not impossible.

There are a lot of women who are unhappy with their looks and they tend to get discouraged by such situations. A research was conducted to determine if men find women attractive or not just based on their looks alone. The results that came out of the study surprised me.

According to the study, which was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, certain features contribute more to facial attractiveness than others. This is a good thing, because it shows us again that our looks are totally dependent on certain features, and not on all of them.

Do you agree with the results? If not, explain why in your own words while writing your reaction below.

Some women do consider themselves to be beautiful and they also consider their boyfriends as attractive individuals. Basis of this are their personal feelings that they have regarding their looks. These women do not want to change anything about themselves in order for their boyfriends to find them attractive.

Both men and women believe that they should be loved by the opposite sex based on their personality. It is not necessary to change any physical characteristic in order for them to be found attractive. Although both men and women find certain characteristics attractive, they are not the only ones that matter in a relationship. You can write below a complete description of what you believe put together makes someone beautiful, or at least what makes you feel beautiful, inside and out.

You must upload a picture or document that represents to you your beauty, like a fashion shot for example. This will help you determine if men love you based on your looks only. Good luck!

*Study participants were asked to rate the attractiveness of men and women in terms of their level of physical attractiveness, masculinity, femininity and confidence. The subjects were then asked to rate photos of the same person with different facial features. For example, a woman's eyes could be rated as beautiful, or her mouth. The researchers then compared the ratings based on the features that were enhanced. They found that when one feature was altered, the others were not affected.

When we talk about beauty, it is really difficult for many women to accept the fact that not all men find them attractive because of how they look. This is mainly because of the media and how it portrays women and what men find attractive in them. In the media, you would always see that women are dressed inappropriately and they seem to look rather seductive in what they are wearing. This is definitely not a very positive way of trying to portray women's beauty.

Very few people would like to admit that looks are what most people go by when they consider someone attractive. What they need to understand is that there is more than just physical beauty when it comes to the attraction of the opposite sex. There are other elements that are considered as well. When you look at someone who is considered to be beautiful, it does not mean that you have to look like them in order for men to find you attractive.

There is something about a person's personality that makes them attractive. Flirty personalities can be very attractive, as long as they do not cross the line into being too sexual. Good personal hygiene and good grooming help as well. Good grooming does not just mean the way that you dress. It can mean the way you take care of yourself as well.

Most men do not actually care about what a woman looks like on the outside as long as they are happy with who they are on the inside. This is why it is important to stay positive and have confidence in your own self and what you can offer in a relationship with someone else.

There are a lot of people who would like to be considered attractive, but they do not think that they are actually attractive at all. This is because they are not aware of what looks attractive to others. Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it is important for them to know exactly what makes someone attractive.

About two-thirds of women would like their body to be more voluptuous and feminine, but only one third believe that they are doing something about it by exercising and losing weight. This is a very sad situation to experience nowadays, because many women are getting surgery and going under the knife in order to look better. They think that they need to change how they look in order for men to be attracted to them.

With so many people being overweight these days, it is not enough anymore that men do not find some women attractive anymore. And they go and do things that push their looks into even worse situations, just so that men will find them attractive because of this. It is very sad how women do not know their true beauty anymore.

All of these women are looking for more than just a man to find them attractive, they are looking for love. But they should know that their appearance still matters when it comes to love. Their partners will not just suddenly start finding them attractive because of the way that they look now.

Conclusion

There are a lot of factors that go into how someone is going to be viewed as attractive. Men and women will find certain features attractive because of their personal preferences, but that does not mean that one person can turn another person into an ugly duckling just by improving on certain features. They will still be ugly if they do not listen to what other people say about other people's looks.