Self-acceptance And Self-improvement
Do you often find yourself going into a spiral of self-denial and self-doubt because of a perceived flaw in your appearance? This might be the sign of what psychologists call "body dysmorphia," an overwhelming dissatisfaction or distress due to how one perceives their physical appearance.
However, in reality, whatever flaws that we have are part and parcel of our humanity, and this is something we must embrace rather than reject out of our lives. Take this example:
While I was walking down the street one day, I saw a woman and man having a conversation by the roadside. The woman was wearing a beautiful, elegant black gown with a tasteful slit up her right leg. This was her evening gown, but it didn't take away from how she looked in it. The man who she was speaking to turned to look at me as he noticed me walking behind them, but then quickly turned away and went back to speaking to the woman.
The dialogue that I overheard went something like this:
Man: "Hey, gorgeous. Where did you get that gown?"
Woman: "I found it at a thrift shop in Brooklyn."
Man: "It's amazing."
Woman: "Thanks. You don't look so bad in your tuxedo yourself. I like to think that this is why we met."
Man: "I'm glad you like it. I feel handsome tonight. You look amazing."
Woman: "Thanks so much. You're sweet. We should get going now, though."
Man: (Turns to look at me again.) "Nice shoes." (Nods, turns back to woman.)
Woman: "You're funny!" (They walk away as she looks at him admiringly. They hold hands.)
What was so significant about this interaction? How did I, an oftentimes cynical man who rarely takes a genuine interest in other human beings, find it all so moving? The answer is simple: both the woman and the man were completely self-accepting and devoted to each other.
Yes, the woman was wearing a beautifully tailored gown that was "tasteful," and yes, the man looked handsome in his tuxedo, but both their self-worth and their love for each other soared way above what their appearance might have been.
This is a lesson we must learn in life: whatever flaws we have - whether it's a physical feature or something not so obvious - are simply part of our humanity. Miraculously, human beings are capable of living beautifully even when they do not look uniquely beautiful.
This is why we must practice self-acceptance. This is why we must learn to love ourselves even with our flaws. When we do, this will allow us to be truthful and sincere when we love someone else intimately in return, because they are the ones who deserve the truth and sincerity that we have given to them.
How can you practice self-acceptance? Here are two ideas:
The first step is awareness. If you are constantly hard on yourself and your flaws, then try to recognize when this is happening. By becoming aware of it, you'll be able to catch yourself when you're doing it and make a conscious decision to stop such thoughts or behaviors. You can also join a support group. You may find people who have similar feelings as you do. Find someone who's had success in dealing with their self-acceptance issues, and seek out the support they can give you.
The second step is action. The simplest and easiest step you can take is to practice self-acceptance internally, through meditation. Start by sitting still and being aware of your body from head to toe. Take note of every inch: your hair, skin, arms, legs, torso, etc., and then make a mental note of each feature - this includes any flaws or imperfections you may have (even minor ones).
Focus on the positive aspects that you find in your body. The next time you feel negative thoughts about your physical appearance, replace them with thoughts of love and appreciation. These are the thoughts that will help you to take care of yourself and become a truly beautiful person.
Author: Valentina Berberi, MD
Image: giphy.com/gifs/body-love-gif-143159475/
Image: giphy.com/gifs/body-love-gif-143159475/
Image: giphy.com/gifs/body-love-gif-143159475/
Title: Why Do We Feel Like We Have To Be Beautiful?
Wondering how we can improve our appearance and be seen as beautiful when society defines beauty in a certain way? Well, it is not uncommon that many women are unhappy with their looks. More than half of college women are said to experience significant negative emotions about their bodies. The percentage of young women who feel depressed as a result of body dissatisfaction is shocking.
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