Self-Improvement – Growing Through Emotions
"Through struggle, there is growth."
This quote, popularly attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson, reflects how many people see self-improvement and emotional strength: through the difficult emotions we experience in life – fear, anger, sadness – we can find a better understanding of ourselves. These are some tips on how to grow through various emotions.
One way is by studying and accepting where these emotions come from. Sometimes, it's helpful to learn why we feel the way we do. Are our emotions based on negative childhood experiences? Did something happen recently that is causing these feelings? By asking yourself these questions, you may be able to access some of the reasons behind your feelings and alleviate any unnecessary suffering.
Start with learning about the causes of your emotions. There are several websites devoted to this purpose, including this one about sadness and this one about anger. As you explore these causes, you will be able to more accurately determine how to deal with your emotions.
Understanding how emotions work is important for a few reasons. First, you may be able to change the way you feel about your negative emotions and apply them in beneficial ways. For example, a person who experiences sadness as a result of being injured may find that meditating on gratitude can help him or her accept his condition without bitterness or resentment (or guilt).
Second, you can learn to stop your emotions from ruling you. For example, if you have experienced anger in the past, you may be able to prevent it from taking over your life when a similar situation arises in the future. Other people may have experienced these same negative emotions in a different way and found different coping strategies. By becoming aware of these other people's experiences and learning how they dealt with these situations, you can choose what works best for yourself.
Lastly, you may be able to use these emotions to your advantage. For example, if you have been on a roller coaster ride of anger before and had no way to turn it off, now that you know how it works you can work on understanding how best to deal with your emotions when they are threatened.
There are many ways in which we can grow through our negative emotions. The most important step is understanding why we feel the way we do, and in what manner they manifest themselves. We can then learn to use them to our advantage and minimize their negative effects on our life.
"Through struggle, there is growth." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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A blog post explaining how to cope with emotions that make you feel bad about yourself, when you are unable to control them. It talks about why aggression is a natural part of life, and that it depends on what you do with that aggression. The article talks about how emotions are not limited to humans. For example, when a dog becomes aggressive, it is actually an expression of self-preservation and the desire to protect itself from perceived threats.
"Emotions are an inherent part of living. They are neither good nor bad. It's what you do with them that good or bad." Barbara L. Fredrickson Ph.D.
An exploration of how to handle emotions, with a particular focus on anger. The article talks about the best way to handle anger and other negative emotions, and talks about the relationship between anger and aggression: that some people are aggressive due to what they do with their anger, rather than the emotion itself.
"Anger is not always a bad thing." – Erik Erikson
A blog post "about showing your emotions without being emotional". It focuses on emotions, and the ways in which we need to express them. There is a quote from Aristotle: "Success is the best revenge". The implication is that if you have succeeded at something, then you do not need to get back at someone for perceived slights against you. If there are problems with your life or in your relationships, then you can grow through dealing with them instead of resorting to anger.
"It's never too late to change. You can choose to live in anger and regret or you can choose to live in gratitude and forgiveness." – Dr. Robert Emmons
A discussion of a study about the effect of apologies on emotions, both for the person apologizing and for the person being apologized to. The study found that when people apologized for a wrong they had done, then their target felt better about it and their own negative emotions dissipated. Apologizing also reduced any lingering bad feelings within the person doing the apologizing.
"If you hurt someone and want to apologize, do it right away and before the wound has a chance to scab over." – Martin Luther King Jr.
A blog post about seeing things as they are, rather than being overwhelmed by emotions. The article talks about how Buddha set out to find the causes of suffering, and eventually realized that suffering was caused by the attachment we have to our emotions.
Conclusion:
"If you can see things as they really are, without being emotionally attached to them, then you will suffer less and live a happier life." – Buddha
A blog post about anger management and meditation. It seeks to give an overview of the Buddhist perspective on anger and how to manage it. It provides links for further study about anger.
"What is important is not the event itself but rather your attitude towards it.