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 Shyness And Self-Esteem

The Japanese culture is characterized by a high level of shyness, which researchers have shown to be beneficial as well as detrimental for their society. Shyer people are better at picking up subtle cues from others and are more socially competent in general, but their social skill is often misinterpreted for negative personality characteristics such as depression or anxiety that might inhibit the person from building relationships. Furthermore, these people at times may even be seen as boring or cold. For example, when a shy person does not respond immediately to a question, this is perceived as the person being indifferent to the question; in fact, he is gathering information and trying to figure out what he should say that would seem appropriate.

Shyness Is Beneficial:

Studies have shown that shy people can pick up on small cues from other people through non-verbal behavior better than their outgoing counterparts. For example, it has been shown that shy people pay more attention to subtle facial expressions (Kashima, Abe, & Ishii, 2007). Kashima et al. (2007) found that shy people were more likely to correctly identify emotions on the basis of facial expressions than their counterparts who were not quite as shy. It was also shown that development of this skill was genetic which suggests that it is an innate characteristic of some people.

Shyness Is Detrimental:

Despite having the skill to pick up on subtle cues from other people, shy people are perceived as being introverted and socially inept. For example, when shy people speak less and take on a more submissive role in group discussions, they are seen as less confident and intelligent than their peers (Rodeheffer & Maehr, 1996). Rodeheffer & Maehr (1996) found that shy students were more likely than their outgoing counterparts to be seen as passive participants in classroom discussions. Because they don't use the classroom as an opportunity to shine and communicate information, they are seen as less socially competent. This can be problematic because it often leads to them having a lower self-esteem.

What Shyness Is:

Shyness is defined as "the subjective experience of social reticence and unease in social or performance settings" (Rosenberg, 1998). Social reticence is a tendency to be quiet and passive in social interactions. In the case of shy people, they have a fear of social interaction and are fearful of judgment from others. While shy people are more adept at picking up on cues from others, their lack of verbal participation makes them appear as if they do not care about the interaction that is taking place. In fact, shy people do care very much about what others think of them. This usually results in the shy person being perceived as less confident and intelligent than others.

The Psychology of Shyness:

Many different theories have been brought up to explain the rise in shyness over time. For example, Darwin (1872) suggested that our ancestors who were heavily invested in survival, such as those who had to hunt for their food and avoid predators, became more cautious from being alone or from having new situations in which they may be judged by others. The survival of the species was dependent on these people being able to both run from a predator and make an appropriate decision when faced with a new situation. Some psychologists, such as Clark L. Hull (1934), theorized that shyness was the result of a natural tendency for humans to seek out their own comfort zones. Hull concluded that shyness is caused by fear of negative evaluation. In this way, shyness is like other fears which prompt people to avoid situations in which they are afraid of negative evaluation.

In order to make these theories more understandable, and to be more relatable for our current society, many psychologists have put forth ways of categorizing shyness. Shy people are often viewed as individuals who are afraid of negative evaluation from others. They feel as if they do not fit in with the majority of people in their group or situation and fear being judged by others. This fear can cause them to appear shy in order for others to like them or treat them differently than the norm (Rosenberg, 1998). Thus, shy people are typically perceived as being quiet and aloof.

Catering to Someone's Shyness

Although shyness can be detrimental for the individual, it can be beneficial for the group or community as a whole. Unfamiliarity with the language and culture of a new country can be frustrating for many travelers; however, there are ways to make it more manageable by catering to their discomfort. Being patient with someone who is scared or unsure of what you are saying can make them more open to learning about your culture. It is more important to be friendly and understanding than to be a people pleaser, especially when the culture you are entering is new and unfamiliar to the shy person.

Unfamiliar situations, both social and non-social, can be conquered by simply taking them slow.

Conclusion:

Despite being the most crucial tool for successful relationships, shyness can be a detriment when building and maintaining a romantic relationship. While it has been shown that being shy does not necessarily mean that the individual is not intelligent, results from some studies indicate that it may be true when self-perceived biases are considered. Due to the fact that this is one of the biggest concerns of individuals who are shy – self-perceived biases – cognitive behavioral therapy and other approaches have been used to help individuals overcome their feelings of inadequacy.