The Blessing Of The Present Moment
A self-help cliche has it that life is about living in the moment. But for most of us, the moment – our here and now – is a recurring problem.
The past is full of regrets: turning down invitations to work, to travel, to live. The future? Rumours of glory or disaster; anticipation or dread.
So how do we find a way through these limitations? How do we live in the moment and not be dependent upon others' approval?
The answer is to accept the present moment for what it is – the only thing that you can truly control.
Too many people are tied up in fantasy. They are constantly planning for the future and agonising over every minor detail, often at their own expense – time spent feeling guilty or disappointed.
The issue is that this way of living is based on what we think could happen. If something goes wrong, you can blame yourself for being unlucky. Why? Because you're caught up in a dream world where everything you think will happen ends up happening – and every failure can be blamed on others' failures.
This fantasy world is really just a fractured memory of what once was and it's not even the whole story. This is a limited way to live, and one which doesn't offer us much choice about whether to go along with it or not; it just happens to come packaged with the illusion that we have control over our destiny.
In reality, none of us do. There is no such thing as luck and there are no guarantees. Instead of focusing on what we think the future holds, it's much more liberating to realise that whatever happens, is happening now – and that's why it's so important to pay attention.
If you can stay grounded in what IS happening right now – especially the things you don't control – then you can be mindful of your true passions, of your desires and ambitions; and finally be in a place where you can take control over how they're expressed or repressed.
What's true for the future is also true for the past and can be liberating as we realise that all our mistakes have already passed. What this means is that what we think could happen, is not only possible but more likely.
So to learn how to live in the moment, you must learn how to live in the past and in the present – which may sound a bit odd but it really is just a strategy of being mindful of what goes on around you at any given moment. Present awareness means paying attention to everything that happens without getting stuck on how it happened or how things should go.
This means that you can accept it as it is without getting swept away by the apparent drama of how things 'ought' to be. Instead, you accept the moment for what it is – whatever that happens to be at any given point in time. This way, you are able to live a meaningful life now; and by learning to live in the moment, you are able to create a life where your choices instead depend on what truly matters most.
-----
Three principles provide a solid foundation for living in the moment: (1) urgency, (2) simplicity and (3) non-separation from Life itself.
The first principle is the importance of urgency. Rather than just thinking about the future, we need to identify what's important now. What are you in a hurry for? What is important NOW?
When we live in the NOW, urgency becomes irrelevant. The NOW becomes our reality and nothing else matters. We make decisions in this wise and soon learn to do so with an attitude of great acceptance towards whatever happens on the way – no matter what it may be or how it may play out. This can seem scary at first but with practice and time, you'll realise that you have no control over what happens to you anyway.
The second principle is simplicity. We live in a world that encourages complexity and confusion, mostly because it's profitable for others. But we can easily rise above these dis-empowering ways of living and put ourselves in the driving seat.
If you become less complex and more simply aware of what is going on around you – without judgements or labels – then you are closer to being able to influence the outcome of situations in your favour. This also means that there is less space for conflict: with yourself or with others.
The third principle is non-separation from Life itself. This means that for each moment, we learn to be mindful of what is happening – without any label or judgement. So in the same way as you would be more accepting of a stranger than a friend, you are more accepting of what life is throwing at you whether that's good or bad.
If we don't accept ourselves for who and what we are, then we can't accept life for who and what it is. We become dependent on others' approval and all their judgements to get our inner voice heard – or to make them come alive in a situation. When our inner voice doesn't listen to us and the people around us aren't able to hear us, it's because of one thing: separation from Life itself.
So how do we break away from this state of separation?
We can't break away completely but we can learn to live in the NOW, instead of our past or future becoming the focus of our thoughts. This is liberating – because it offers a way out of the illusion that we have control over what happens around us.
There is no safe place amidst the chaos, but there are calm points where things could take a turn for the better. Here are some suggestions on how to join these places:
Accept responsibility for your own happiness and survival.
Don't blame others for your unhappiness.
Don't blame yourself for others' happiness.
Don't worry about the future – it's just a dream about what could happen. Instead, live in the present by paying attention to everything that happens around you, whether that's pleasant or unpleasant and learn from it (or find out if there is anything you don't like). Remember that things aren't as bad as they seem and try to enjoy them instead of criticising them. We only have problems when we try to control something which can't be controlled; and when we get attached to something which will inevitably change.
Conclusion
If you want to enjoy a life where you are in control rather than the illusion that others are, then it's important to create the right conditions.
This means learning to live in the moment – where life can be seen as an opportunity rather than a threat – so that you can see the full potential of living without limits and any drama, as well as being able to take control over your decisions and your life.
By doing this, you'll be able to live with greater awareness and without limitations. This will get rid of false limitations and give you a new lease on life that takes you beyond survival into living. But most importantly, it will help you come closer to Life itself; through the power of belief.