THE CONCEPT OF POSITIVE THINKING
When people think of negative thinking, they might mainly think of pessimism and despair. But sometimes "negative" can also just mean "not positive." For example: if a car is running in neutral, it is neither going forward or backward. It's not "negatively" moving either way; it's just not moving at all. So what exactly is the difference between negative thinking and positive thinking?
Positive thinking tries to focus on the positives in life, accepting what life brings without dwelling on the negatives. The idea behind this philosophy is that by focusing on only the positive aspects of your situation, you will see little to no problems at all with your life. So by wishing hard enough, you can make it happen.
"Positive thinking" is a bogus concept when put into practice because it is almost impossible to do. If you had a choice of getting kicked in the groin as often as you liked vs. simply thinking about kicking yourself in the gonads, which would be the best option for you? Of course, it would be the latter, since thoughts cannot come true without action!
As Jean-Paul Sartre said, "You are condemned to be free." This means that your ability to act depends on your knowledge of what actions are possible and what actions are not possible. If you think you can fly, you're positive. You try jumping off a building. You find ways to take flight. And that's how it goes until you break both your legs and have to crawl back to the window from which you jumped — or until the cement mixers come and pour their contents on top of your broken body, whichever comes first.
You are definitely in a negative state when this happens. But does jumping off buildings make you a "negative" person? Not necessarily. Thinking positively would entail focusing on the only realistic option: walking down stairs or waiting for an elevator where people who are not suicidal go.
You can always tell a positive thinker by their actions. Positive thinkers focus on what is possible and what isn't possible, and then act accordingly. And even if your actions turn out to be negative, you are still being positive as long as you're acting logically. You were probably raised to be a fence-sitter, not a grave-dancer.
If you want to live a happy life, you need to stop "negatively" thinking in the same way that you would avoid someone who is going around kicking people in their groins — unless your goal is to get kicked in the groin.
Human beings are not born negative. In fact, they're genetically disposed to be as positive as it gets. This is why babies don't think much: they can't. They just act on impulse and instinct because their brains are still developing. Babies are optimists by nature; they trust everyone and everything, which is why they'll never tell you to "think positive" unless you want them to vomit on your face or poop in your lap.
Until you learn how to be pessimistic, you're going to have a harder time than most people do. But once you learn how to be pessimistic, your decisions will become logical and consistent. You'll know exactly what actions are reasonable for you to take, and you will act accordingly. And when this happens, it's really not all that hard to have a happy life; all it takes is the right attitude.
After all, if someone accuses you of "hopelessness," then it will help to stop them with words like "logic" and "reasoning." Then they'll look at your complaints in silence and say they aren't listening anymore, before walking away.
The trick is that pessimists tend to be more intelligent than optimistic people. The pessimists tend to realize that life isn't fair, and the optimists tend to realize that life is fair. If these two groups stand face-to-face, it can only result in failure for the latter group — or at least a big headache for them. And while they're complaining about how unfair life is, you can be living a happy life of your own making.
If you're not an optimist or pessimist by nature, it's probably better just to not take such labels too seriously anyway. For example: you can be a "rationalist" and know that people are illogical at times. There's nothing irrational about it. Or you can be an "idealist" who just hopes that life will treat you kindly, in which case, who cares much about those who are pessimistic or pessimistic? You're probably smarter than the pessimists anyway.
You ought to avoid trying to make the world fair for everyone, though; this is impossible, and even if it were possible, it would never work. Because no one person can possibly change what is rational for everyone. This is why the world is not fair. It's just a fact that you cannot change reality at the same time as improving it.
The only way to have a happy life is to focus on your own realistic goals and actions, and try your best to take positive actions when appropriate. This way, you can always rely on everyday events because you will understand them with purpose and logic… even if they don't work out exactly as planned.
If you don't believe that life isn't fair, then it's better to act in accordance with this, without wasting time thinking about the unfairness of reality. Simply being an "optimist" or "pessimist" would cause you to miss the obvious point: people do things that aren't logically possible because they're inconsistent with reality.
If you don't understand this, then you may well have no idea how to live a happy life. Because the oversimplified concept of "positive thinking" is misleading and dangerous, even if it did work.
People will listen to optimists over pessimists in any hypothetical situation, so long as the optimistic person understands that things won't always turn out precisely as intended. An optimist will still end up walking down the stairs to avoid jumping off the building as long as he's able to consider all options, and act accordingly.
If you think that it isn't reasonable for you to live without a good job, then you must continue trying to find one. If you don't believe that it is reasonable for your mother to live alone in a tiny apartment when there are people who can give her a place to stay and she has no way of getting around, then you must put yourself in her situation so that she can see how ridiculous she's being at this point.
Conclusion
The most important step in living a happy life is to make a statement to the effect that you will live your own way, and not the way of sheep. After all, there are plenty of other people who are doing the same thing you are: putting others first and themselves last. These people tend to be more well-connected than you will ever be; they have friends who know other friends and so forth. You may have been lonely for your entire life, but this is just "the way it goes."
This is the easiest mistake to make in life because most people don't even realize that they're doing this until it's too late.