The 'Gratitude' Dilemma Unsolved
"There is nothing more satisfying in our lives than to walk a path with gratitude." - Buddha
We all know that a grateful attitude can have many benefits, but everyone has their moment when they feel justifiably angry. This post explores the struggle of being grateful through adversity.
So how do we cultivate an attitude of thankfulness even when we are struggling with difficulties? It can be difficult to find the answer to this question for so many reasons: there is no one-size-fits-all solution, it often takes time and work, and most people don't even know where to start.
In my own life, I have certainly had my share of suffering and difficulties, as well as plenty of joyful moments. But the one thing that seems to help me most when I'm down or angry is to write in a gratitude journal. Somehow the process of really thinking about all the things for which I am grateful helps me regain perspective on my life's circumstances. The process of writing about what you are grateful for also strengthens your relationship with yourself because it helps you to focus on the things that really matter in your life.
As humans, we tend to get caught up in what we are lacking or things we want or desire [1]. If you think about it this is actually a very small part of our lives. Successful people know that the most satisfying path is one that incorporates gratitude.
In my own life, I have noticed a difference in how I experience the world since I began doing this thankfulness practice. As you might expect, there are some big things on my list of what I am grateful for. Every day, for example, as soon as I get out of bed, see my children and pets and feel their love and joy, it is such an incredible blessing to be alive to enjoy them! But there are many smaller things as well: seeing another human smile or laugh; finding that extra bit of time in the day; the sound of rain falling outside my window at night; the taste of a delicious dish... All of these things come together to make our lives so rich!
You can start your own gratitude practice in two ways: you can buy a blank journal and write about things that you are grateful for, or you can go online and look up examples of gratitude journals. There are many free examples on the Internet such as this one:
http://www.gratitudejournal.com/ [2]
The Journal was founded by Anthony Robbins and is part of his leadership program: http://www.massiveaction.com/ [3] The journal is a simple guide that asks you a few questions each day, such as "What am I grateful for?" or "What am I good at? What do I enjoy?". With each of these questions, you are asked to briefly explain your answer in your journal. There are also sections for daily affirmations, visualizations and actions that you can take based on how grateful you feel.
There is no perfect solution for feeling grateful all the time (and sometimes there aren't even perfect solutions for dealing with anger) but at least it's a start!
SOURCES: [1] Barbara Fredrickson, Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How To Embrace The Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, And Thrive In Life (Three Rivers Press, 2009). [2] http://www.gratitudejournal.com/ [3] http://www.massiveaction.com/
--Annie Foy, 04 May 2011
"Walk that path with gratitude" --Buddha
_________________________________________________ _______________ Hi Annie! I'm delighted you are making use of the above! Yes, I had made a note of it there, but was wondering if you knew more about its origins? Hope you don't mind me asking this! Thanks for a great post :) --SusanG - 01 Apr 2012 12:06am
Hi SusanG, I found the book "Positivity" (see link above) by Barbara Fredrickson at my local library and thought it might be helpful for some people who are having some difficulties. Reading the book was very interesting, but I thought my own ideas and way of writing might be more helpful for others. I hope it helps! ~Annie
~~~ Positive Psychology Resource Center _________________________________________________ _______________
Hi Annie, Thanks for your comment. My sense is yes, I think he made this up at some point or perhaps adapted it from something else because I can't find any information about a gratitude journal that Anthony Robbins made. I don't know if you can find any other references but it's kind of interesting that he has kept the site up and running. I had no idea they were still updating! Thanks again! ~SusanG - 01 Apr 2012 12:07am
Thanks, SusanG. I'll look into it and see what I can find out more about. --Annie Foy, 04 May 2011
The information about gratitude journals is fascinating. Yes, it's the same one I found in over 200 libraries across the country - this a very popular teaching tool from Anthony Robbins's "Positive Psychology Resource Center" [2]. http://www.positivepsychologyresourcecenter.com [3] ~Annie Foy, 04 May 2011
~~~ Positive Psychology Resource Center _________________________________________________ _______________
I find it very interesting that the Center is still updating their website. It makes your mind wonder about what sort of things they have in store for us, doesn't it? Thanks for sharing this with us. I have a friend who may get this book. Do you mind if I send her your message? If you wouldn't mind answering my next question, that would be great! Thank you! ~SusanG - 01 Apr 2012 12:08am
Hi SusanG, It's nice to know people are finding it helpful. Yes, this is one of my favorite books and Michael has read it all the way through many times. The site is still up because we are still adding new material each week and the book sales continue to go strong. Every day I hear from people who continue to benefit from reading this book and working with the Positive Psychology Resource Center's free resources [3]. Kind regards, Annie Foy, 04 May 2011
~~~ Positive Psychology Resource Center _________________________________________________ _______________
Hi Annie! Thanks for your comment. Yes, obviously I think the general idea is wonderful. I hope you are able to find what you are looking for sometime soon. I am very busy with so many things at the moment and can't get a lot of time to do online research but will take a look at it this weekend.
Conclusion:
A quick search on the Internet will reveal a number of different versions of these happiness journals. How helpful they are to the person using them is entirely dependent upon why the person is using them. This form of journaling can be extremely beneficial for someone who has, for example, recently gone through a divorce, or some other major life-changing event. Another example would be someone who routinely writes down any concerns or thoughts they have during the day before going to sleep at night.