Accomplishing Everything You Want By Eliminating Reversals
"The human mind can only be in one state at a time," says author Peter Hollins. "Choosing the right state is critical to success." You see, our brains focus on what we're thinking about and drift toward that direction. If you put yourself in a frustrated mood by constantly talking about all of your problems, then every time you start feeling good, it becomes easy for something else to take your attention and shift you back into a negative frame of mind.
It's important that we don't do this because reversing our thoughts is not the same as changing them; by continually going from bad states to good ones and then shifting back again, we're setting ourselves up for an endless pattern of frustration with no way out. "The amount of time it takes to get from one state to another is directly proportional to the distance between them," Hollins says.
Changing your thoughts requires work because it requires you to change your entire brain state. But reversing your thoughts is easy: you just flip from one thought to its opposite, over and over again. This type of thinking doesn't require any more energy than staying in a single thought, so as long as you're flipping back and forth, you'll be unable to change your current state of mind and accomplish the things that you want in life.
Here are some easy ways that we do this:
For example, say that someone cuts in line at a coffee shop. You will probably feel annoyed and think, "This place is always so crowded. I hate going here." Then you might consider the possibility that maybe you went to the wrong place or at the wrong time, but that's probably not it; the only logical explanation is that everyone else in line is rude…
But what if you reverse those thoughts when things aren't going well?
For example, say that someone cuts in line at a coffee shop. You will probably feel annoyed and think, "This place is always so crowded. I hate going here. What a jerk." Then you might consider the possibility that maybe you went to the wrong place or at the wrong time, but that's probably not it; if anything, this negativity is caused by your own bad mood.
When we think negatively, we are always looking for the external factors that are causing us to feel this way. But when we reverse our thoughts, we blame ourselves and therefore don't seek any remedy. So of course you'll feel bad forever!
Okay, I'm being a little dramatic here to make my point, but the fact is that if we want to be successful, then we have to change our thoughts as quickly as possible. This means not flippantly making negative statements about others and ourselves.
Here are some better ways to reduce your frustrations:
1. Stop using your car or ride-sharing apps at peak times – If you know the time of day when traffic is the worst, then avoid driving then. It's easy to be angry in a hurry when you have an important meeting in an hour.
2. Change your environment – Rather than encouraging people to stay in the same place and grow frustrated with it, change the place itself. If you don't like the way something is, then change it! Don't be a prisoner to your environment; move somewhere else and make that place a better place.
3. Change how you handle emotions – Expressing negative emotions doesn't really solve anything, so try finding new ways to deal with them instead of bottling them up inside of you. Physical activity is one excellent way to get rid of negative emotions; punching a bag will release pent-up frustration much more quickly than simply thinking about it for an hour or two.
4. Ask yourself a positive question – If you're finding it hard to change your negative thoughts, ask yourself a positive question and give that question some serious thought. For example, say that someone cuts in line at a coffee shop. You will probably feel annoyed and think, "This place is always so crowded. I hate going here. What a jerk." Then you might consider the possibility that maybe you went to the wrong place or at the wrong time, but that's probably not it; if anything, this negativity is caused by your own bad mood because everyone else in line is rude…
5. Contemplate things differently – Reread lines from books or poems and consider whether they apply to your life situation. For example, in the first stanza of A.E. Housman's poem "To An Athlete Dying Young," the poet asks a dying young athlete to consider that pain doesn't mean anything and then asks him to consider something else. If an athlete had this much perseverance, he would be a great person and his pain would only be remembered for its strength and bravery, not for its agony.
Hollins believes that we can never change our thoughts without changing our internal state of mind – we can only trick ourselves into thinking otherwise by flipping from one negative thought to its opposite repeatedly over time. Being frustrated doesn't accomplish anything, and it often makes things even worse. But by changing your state of mind, you will be able to overcome your frustrations and get better at doing the things that you love.
So the next time you find yourself getting upset about something, stop and ask yourself: "Am I allowing myself to suffer from frustration by thinking negatively or am I taking action to improve my situation? Am I flipping from one negative thought to its opposite or is my mind just going in circles?"
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resources for this article: http://www.mindful.org/blog/2011/05/reversing-negative-thoughts-not-hard-anymore/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Mindful+%28Mindfulness+Products%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effortless_thought_changing#cite_ref-3
http://www.thoughtco.com/how-to-reverse-negative-thinking--693084. html
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_strategies.htm?print=true
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/how-do-life/201205/are-you-living-outside-reality
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/5-ways-overcome-frustration.html
https://www.goodreads
Conclusion
I hope that this article has helped you stop the cycle of frustration. As I mentioned before, once you learn to recognize your negative thoughts, you will be able to easily flip from one negative thought to its opposite without even thinking about it; if someone cuts in line at the coffee shop, then instead of thinking "They are always so crowded," you might think "Everyone is always so busy." Once you have a clear picture of your thoughts and emotions, then your life will go much better. You will grow into a happier and more successful person; don't give up!
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