Discover What You Really Want - Ask This Question
Do you know what you want? It’s a question we all ask ourselves, but many of us don’t actually stop to ever answer it. We spend hours deliberating over other people’s ideas of the perfect life, when in reality we should be figuring out what that is for ourselves.
This post will give you a simple process for uncovering your desires and achieving them once and for all. You deserve the best life possible – and now you can go out there and make it happen!
Don't miss it: How to Get What You Really Want - Ask Yourself This Question.
Posted on October 02, 2010
# 1. What do you want?
I ask myself this question every day! I ask it when I wake up, when I feel stressed out, or when something goes wrong. When I’m taking a shower and having these thoughts helps me to calm down and get in the right frame of mind to handle things better.
A lot of times what we really want is something that is out of our grasp: a new house, a different job, more money… These are things that are often unobtainable in one fell swoop – or at least not immediately.
This is why I encourage you to really think about what you really want in life. Not just some big, far-off goal, but what you really want this very second .
For example, when I ask myself the question “what do I want?” in the bathtub, I might answer that I would love to have a glass of wine with dinner tonight. Or maybe that my boyfriend and I would have a few hours alone together on Saturday night. Those are both things that I know I would enjoy.
This is a process of discovering what you really want in life. It’s not about making yourself miserable with goals that you don’t have access to – it’s about finding out exactly what you want, even if it isn’t necessarily something you can necessarily get on your own or with the means you currently have.
When we think about what we really want, we come up with many different options. Some of them are far out of reach, but others might be completely attainable right now.
# 2. Ask yourself why you want something
Many times when we think about what we want, we start with the end result in mind. We think of the location or the kind of house or job that would make us happy.. We think of all the pretty things that would be associated with that and how great it will feel to live in such a wonderful place…
What if you actually focus on the steps that are required to get there? When you’re making dinner, don’t just plan for a nice dinner at your favorite restaurant – plan for getting all of your ingredients from the grocery store, preparing it, and getting it ready to eat in your kitchen.
You’re more likely to get your result if you think about what you have to do in order to get it. When you’re planning for dinner, don’t just think about how nice the restaurant is – think about all the prep that has to be done so that you can arrive at this joyous place.
This type of thinking can be applied to any type of goal or any situation. For example, when I want a new pair of shoes, I really think about where I would buy them, how much money I would spend, and what kind of shoes they would be.
# 3. Make a plan
When you think about what you want, you need to start working towards it. One of my friends (who shall remain nameless) recently received a job offer at another company and was considering accepting it, but she realized that she didn't really want the job and she was already stressed about the thought of moving again. In an effort to alleviate this stress, she began contemplating her future plans for herself and what kind of life she wanted to live. This process is known as planning – it’s when we get into the habit of coming up with what our goals are and how we can make them happen in short order.
If you don't have any thought or plan of what you actually want in life, make one right now. It doesn't have to be elaborate. You can just write a few simple words on a piece of paper that you keep tucked in your purse or in a drawer. You can think about each step along the way, whether it's getting out of bed and getting ready for work, or speaking up and asking for the promotion at work.
The point is to make this "plan" as real as possible – something you would be happy about if it were suddenly made into reality for yourself.
# 4. Commit to it
That's the biggest thing about creating a plan. You have to actually commit to it . You have to say to yourself, "if I do this, I'll get that." Or you can look at the "what if" situation and say, "If I don't do this , I'll never get that."
For example, if you want more money in your pocket earlier in the week, make a plan. Think of ways that you could find some extra cash and how long it might take if you stick with your normal budget. Then commit to staying on top of it until you see a difference in your bank account. You can also commit to looking for jobs or new investments that could potentially generate more income.
If you want something that you know will take a long time to acquire, make a plan and stick with it. It's one thing to set up a plan, but you need to actually be there every day putting in work. You'll find that after sticking with it for a while, you'll start seeing the fruits of your labor and it will motivate you even more to get what you really want.
# 5. Think about how good it will feel
Of course, once you've made a plan and committed to actually following through, the next step is imagining how great it will feel when you actually achieve your goal . I usually imagine that I'll feel so happy, so excited and so relieved when I get the next raise or promotion or that great house that I'll be thinking, "I can't believe how nice it is to finally make this happen."
When something good happens, we often get a rush of positive emotions and our minds go straight to the future. In order for you to reap the benefits of your hard work, you need to stay in the present moment. Pay attention to how you're feeling right now. The more present and aware you are in this moment, the better able you will be to choose what's most important and how well you're handling your day-to-day life.
# 6.
Conclusion
There are a lot of different ways that we can think about our lives, but when it comes down to it, just be sure the type of life you want is the one that's best for you . Don't try to do something that your friends are doing or something that you think will make somebody else happy. Just focus on what makes you happy and what you want out of life.
Finally, if this sounds like a lot of work, I'd have to agree. But if you really want something in your life, all this work will be worth it and it'll pay off better than any alternative way of thinking or doing things.