Do You Lose Confidence And Power In Dealing With People?
In a word, yes.
But thankfully, it's not as bad as you might think. You're not going to lose your confidence altogether overnight and in the long term you can learn how to regain your power in dealing with people. In this blog post we'll go over what causes this feeling and what you can do to start feeling more confident around other people again. We'll also cover some strategies that will make it easier for you to handle the next time someone gets on your nerves or offends you!
What Causes Low Self-Esteem?
There are many different things that could make a person feel less confident than they normally would, but one of the most obvious culprits is low self-esteem.
I remember once I had to go in for some kind of medical examination, but I was sick and my eyes were red. I was wearing a white t-shirt and black pants with a long coat when the nurse came into the room.
She rolled her eyes at my clothes (which looked just like how everyone else dressed at that time) and said something along the lines of "You're looking so sick, we have to put you in a gown" (the reason for this being that if I didn't wear a gown then it could get dirty with all the germs I had around). Then she asked me if I wanted to remove my coat.
Looking back, I'm sure she said it with good intentions and she wasn't trying to be rude. But the whole time I just felt so down on myself for not dressing like everyone else (I didn't own a lab coat). It was like a small part of me got an instant, low self-esteem kick in the gut. A kick that made me feel that I had to change my clothes because "normal people wouldn't wear black pants with a coat", or something like that.
I was too young to realize that the way I dressed had nothing to do with my medical health and even if the nurse didn't like black pants with a coat, I shouldn't worry about it. It wasn't a big deal. But as we age, we become more sensitive to these kind of things and they add up over time.
That's why when you're starting out on your journey to improve your self-esteem you need to start building your confidence in everyday situations that aren't necessarily related to how other people view you. Don't go for the massive world changing improvement over night because if you try something too big then you might feel discouraged when you can't achieve it or don't see results fast enough.
You also need to be patient and remember that building your self-esteem is a long term project. You'll go through ups and downs so it's important that you don't listen to just one piece of advice about getting rid of low self-esteem and expect it to work overnight. If you try something that doesn't work, don't get discouraged! Just find another way to achieve the same result.
So yes, self-esteem might be something you could work on, but it's a process. What we'll talk about here won't make you feel high or confident all the time and as a result that's probably why so many people overlook it. If you're in this same situation and you want to learn how to build your self-esteem then just keep reading!
An example: Patrick Jane, top 2% of the population in America. He's one of the most socially confident people I know. So when he has a low self esteem issue what should we expect? We should expect him to go around feeling low, because that's just how he is! It's not his fault and he can't help it. It's almost like he can't help but be low self esteem.
Contrast this with Carl Capo, who has never been in the top 2%. Carl is a much happier person and says that if you can find a way to wake up and awake each morning with a smile on your face then you're already at a much better place in life. You don't need to worry about things you can't control.
How To Rebuild Self-Esteem?
Here are some practical methods that will make growing your self-esteem easier:
1.) Start from the inside out. Try not to think too much about other people's opinions of you because it will only cause stress and anxiety. When you think about other people's opinions of you, what you'll normally find is a bunch of judgments, insecurities, and other random negative thoughts that has nothing to do with your approval of yourself. So instead of thinking about how other people think of you, try instead to start building your own opinions by looking at the good things that come along with having low self-esteem:
· If people are always pointing out how amazing you are then maybe they're jealous. Maybe they want to undermine your confidence so they can help themselves feel better.
· If people make jokes at your expense, then it's possible that they're jealous and want to deflate yours (this is often a safer bet than the previously mentioned option).
· If people always try to make you feel bad, then it might be jealousy. It could also be that they feel insecure about themselves and want to lower someone else's confidence.
· If no one you know gets on with people or has a good time with them then maybe this is the kind of person who's perfect just the way they are and maybe other people have some sort of jealousy or inferiority complex towards them (even though they might not even realize it).
You see, when you start thinking from the inside out rather than from the outside in, you begin to realize that there are always two sides to every story and all these choices can lead to a whole lot more positive feelings about yourself.
2. ) Practice Makes Perfect. Here's a trick that you can use to increase your self-esteem. Even though it might not sound like much, it will help you take small steps towards building a better self-image:
· Think of someone who you think is amazing (this could be anyone from your friend to a celebrity).
· Now think about the ways in which they have hurt themselves (they might have dropped out of high school, made bad life choices, etc. etc.).
· Try to think of things that they could have done differently and how they could have fixed those mistakes.
· Now think about things that they did right (you can pick up girls, make friends, etc.) and highlight these points.
· Once you've highlighted the good things that you think about the person, ask yourself if you would be able to live up to the same standard as them? You see, by tracking all your positive points in life and exaggerating them a bit you start building a positive picture of yourself. This is not just limited to other people because it will also work for things like treating yourself better or improving your physical appearance.
Conclusion
At the end of the day if you're low on self-esteem you need to try and see things from a different perspective. You're not alone and improving your self-image isn't just about trying to become more popular or finding love because those things won't happen unless you believe that they can.
3.) Take baby steps towards becoming more confident. Practice self-esteem building techniques on a small level, like learning how to walk with a smile on your face, looking at the right people in the right way, asking people out without fear of rejection.