Stop Talking About Other People! - Spirituality Information
If you're like me, then you might find yourself talking a lot about other people - your friends, acquaintances, lovers - and not much about yourself. You might be doing this because you think it will help or make your life better. But I'm here to tell you that there is something far more important than just getting people in your life to like or love you: living for yourself. We are the only ones who can do what we need to do for ourselves and no one else. So why not just let everyone else do their own thing?
Welcome to this edition of Spirituality Information , a column from the Allstate Blog. This is a place where you can learn about the powerful ways spirituality can make your life better, from getting through tough times to experiencing greater peace and fulfillment. I speak with guest bloggers who share their meditations, insights and perspectives, and offer tips for your life. To read earlier articles, click here .
When it comes right down to it, you might find that there are more people out there who talk badly about others - or even you! - than there are those who will stand up for you if they sense that they might be excluded if they don't stand up for you. I have found that this is true in my own life as well. So what is it about successful people that has given them the ability to deal with being treated poorly by others?
I asked this question of a few of the successful people I know. They all had different answers, but one theme that was consistent in all of the answers I received was an understanding that you can't make someone like you, love you or respect you. The only way to get any of these things is to live your own life and fulfill your own needs.
This has brought me to a realization: we spend far too much time talking about other people when we should be talking about ourselves . I believe that this is what is behind our seemingly endless need for gossip. We have always been a people who love to talk about other people, but we've never really wanted to talk about ourselves.
I've heard many reasons as to why we are so drawn to writing and reading gossip. Perhaps it's because we feel as if there's nothing else we can do, or no one else will listen. Perhaps it's because we want to know what others think of us and what they might do next, or maybe it just seems like a good idea at the time.
I believe that I have solved the problem of too much thinking and talking about other people by simply not talking about them anymore - and focusing my attention on myself instead. It might seem like I have taken away something that you enjoy, but I have actually given you something more important: the ability to live your own life without all of the drama.
One thing you don't want to do is start critiquing other people's lives. They might not like it, and rightly so! This can only serve to make others angry. And if they are angry too often, then they will find ways to cause harm to you without even realizing that they're doing it.
So talk about yourselves instead of other people. Stop thinking so much about what others think of you, and start thinking about yourself! It's really that simple - once you've gotten the hang of it! The rest is up to you .
The moral of this lesson is pretty basic: stop talking about other people. And please, stop reading and writing gossip. I don't want to deal with your negative energy anymore, so quit it! I know that you think it helps you, but it only serves to make others angry and causes harm! So just stop blaming them for your own problems. You are responsible for you, period .
This lesson has really helped me - and the people around me - become a lot more peaceful and happy! It's simple: talk about yourself instead of other people. Eventually, no one will be willing to listen to what others have to say about you. And that is when you will begin to realize that people will not accept you for who you are, but have always done so anyway.
So start living your own life and working on making it the best it can be . And please, stop talking about other people. It makes others angry and just serves to make yourself feel bad in the long run.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope that this article has been helpful, and I hope to hear from you soon!
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Posted by Life Coach at 4:48 PM
Anonymous said...
Thank you for sharing this great insight about the world of social media. I am an avid reader and always have my nose in a book. Lately it has been very difficult to read a whole book due to all the interruptions on Facebook, Twitter, etc. I would like to become more knowledgeable and well rounded but it is not possible with constant distractions from social media. How can I cut back on time spent on these web sites? What are some of your suggestions? October 5, 2012 at 4:06 AM
Life Coach said...
I have found the same to be true: I find the best way to spend time on the computer is to read blogs and other similar sites; by doing so, you are actually learning things about yourself and about others as well. You can even listen to music for minimal time. And by doing this, you will spend even less time in front of some screen!
There are also websites out there that offer you a chance to practice mindfulness exercises . You can learn so much just by listening to these audio files and taking a moment or two out of your day - which are the exact kinds of things that will probably make you more productive anyway.
Just remember that life with all its ups and downs is not meant to be perfect. You will never manage to get anything right, and if you are spending so much time trying to do so, then you will miss out on a lot of that life! By focusing on what you can do with the information you have and the time you have available to do it, then your world will change for the better.
October 5, 2012 at 4:41 AM
I've been finding a few articles from here recently. Nice stuff. I think the best way to take in some information is one day at a time. You can't read a whole book in one day unless it's like a novella (which reminds me I should finish The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay ). I think it's better to read a little every day. October 5, 2012 at 7:31 AM
Life Coach said...
Taking things one day at a time is a great way to manage stress - and also helps you live in the present! Remember to do this - because if you don't, then you will always be looking toward the future in search of relief. The relief never comes, because there is no such thing as relief. There are only moments, and they come and then they go forever - so be sure to enjoy them!
October 5, 2012 at 8:06 AM
I'm sorry I can't find your email address to respond directly but I would like to send you my perspective on all this.
Conclusion:
1. Social media is a modern day version of gossip. All these social media sites used to be about us, the users. As we use them, they change and evolve into something else. We are the writers, readers and publishers of our own lives through these sites yet very few people actually read the content that is published by others. I have been lucky enough to be one of those few fortunate people who does read my own posts and comment on them when I have time but this process takes a lot of energy on my part as do other channels like email where I receive many "chats" when I least expect it or sometimes nowhere at all as happened today.
2.