Teen Chat: 7 Ways To Believe In Yourself – Part 1
There are so many different things we do to build our self-esteem and it's easy to neglect the power of words. Sometimes, all it takes is a gentle "good job" or an encouraging word from a friend. As life gets tougher and we experience more trials, sometimes it takes a little more work for us to believe in ourselves. It can be hard to "love ourselves" as the popular song suggests, but it doesn't have to be.
You might think it's impossible to believe in yourself if you don't like something about yourself or if you're experiencing lots of failures. But, it's not impossible at all. There are lots of things that you can do to start believing in yourself, and here are seven:
1. Start with a compliment from someone else . . . even if you don't believe the compliment!
I bet my four-year-old son, Christopher, would blush red and say "thank you" even though he doesn't really believe me when I tell him how handsome he is. I know he thinks he's really goofy looking, but that doesn't stop him from giving me a big hug in return. You can see it in his eyes, though – he really doesn't believe me. When you have low self-esteem or you're dealing with failures, it's sometimes hard to believe someone else who says nice things about you. It can be easy to dismiss compliments as "fake" and they don't really mean anything if we don't believe them ourselves. It's okay, though! Just like Christopher (and all of us), we don't need to believe every compliment at first; however, we can still give thanks for them.
2. Don't be hard on yourself . . . especially in front of others!
I know the feeling . . . we are constantly, sometimes unkindly, correcting ourselves. We can be mean or sarcastic to ourselves, so that we don't feel so awful about ourselves. We want to be seen as strong and capable, but sometimes we tear down our own self-confidence. Even if you're not treating yourself badly, it's a good idea to be kind and gentle real with yourself when you're feeling bad about your appearance or performance. There are plenty of things we do that aren't right (we just don't see our faults) so when you find yourself needing to be hard on yourself, try encouraging words instead.
3. Talk with people close to you . . . and listen!
Sometimes, all it takes is a good talking to from someone who cares about you. They probably won't even have to tell you anything different or new; they just need to remind you of your self-worth because they love you. You also might not feel like talking at all, but being quiet has its negative consequences too. Instead, when you don't think that anyone cares or wants to listen (and in return hear what's on your mind), try proactively reaching out by phone or an email. And, it's okay if the only person who wants to talk is yourself. You don't have to talk with others if you don't want to.
4. Do some kind of creative writing . . . and write about yourself!
I used to suck at writing in school and I still struggle with grammar rules. But, I've found an outlet for my creative side by blogging. Putting my thoughts on paper or into the computer makes me feel good about myself because I'm putting myself out there in a very real way. I also like that I can tell the world (even though they probably won't read it) what's on my mind, even if it's just a few words here or there. Put your thoughts and feelings on paper – you'll be glad you did!
5. Get creative with your hobbies . . . and make those hobbies you!
Doing something creative is a wonderful way to boost our self-esteem, help us cope with difficulties, and bring us happiness and joy. If you don't have any special interests or things that you enjoy, maybe it's time to find one. Although I have to admit that I do like all kinds of different crafts – scrapbooking, beading, painting, knitting, crochet work, etc. – my favorite creative outlet is writing.
6. Fix something in your life . . . even if it seems too difficult!
I know it sounds silly to try fixing one thing in your life when there are so many other things that you're upset about. But, it's not silly at all. When we have problems in our lives, we are often overwhelmed with feeling bad about ourselves. Sometimes, just knowing that we can do something to fix the situation can make us feel better in the moment. You might think that fixing some aspect of your life is too difficult to be worth it, but if you don't try something first, how will you ever know?
7. Write a letter of gratitude . . . and send it out!
I know my mom constantly reminds me that there are so many things I'm grateful for. She also reminds me to write letters to all kinds of people who've helped me along the way – teachers, coaches, cousins & friends and so on. I love writing thank you letters to my family. And, I just love receiving the letters back, too. Even though I'm not the most "creative" person when it comes to writing thank you letters or other forms of communication (I'm a veritable train wreck), I don't mind because it's so easy for me to express my feelings in other ways.
I hope you can see how important it is to believe in yourself. Sometimes, all it takes is a little reminder from someone who cares and some creativity on our parts if we have no one else to reassure us and remind us of our worth.
I would love to hear from you! Do you have any other tips to add? What kinds of things do you do when you're having low self-esteem?
Just because I'm confident in my abilities as a writer, it doesn't mean that I don't sometimes have doubts. As soon as I hit that "Publish" button on this post, I'm wondering if it will gain notice and be read by many or just a few or no one at all.
But it's not so much the number of readers on this blog (though that would be nice!) as it is the fact of whether or not anyone reads what I write and whether they maybe even learn something from it.
If I'm doing my job right, I hope that people who read this blog took something away and are now better equipped to face their own problems and challenges or possibly even in a better frame of mind because of reading about mine.
My challenge for myself is to continue writing about the things that matter most to me for as long as I can think of things that I want to share. Only time will tell if what I write here is worth reading and/or worth sharing.
I hope you'll continue following along on The Next Step with Alisha.
Conclusion:
Let's all be happy!
I know that this post is a little bit different than some of the others I've written. In fact, it's probably pretty far removed from much of my writing on this blog. But, I think it's important to mention now, before we get into 2017, that it's not just politically correct to accept people for who they are and what they do. It also is a lot more healthy (spiritually and mentally) to just be happy with who you are and what you do!
We're all human beings with feelings and thoughts and concerns. So many of us have our own things that get us down or make us unhappy or frustrated in life.