Getting Along With Difficult People at Work
When you start working on a new project, you may not know everyone on the team yet. And chances are, there will be at least one person who rubs you the wrong way. You might find them too touchy-feely, or they might have an annoying laugh. They may never have time to chat at break time because they're always on their phone. These people may be curmudgeons with a perpetual chip on their shoulders. They may speak in angry undertones even when they're speaking to you.
...My title is Getting Along With Difficult People At Work, not Getting Along With Everyone At Work!
Part of the reason these people are hard to get along with is that they have a strong personality. They don't have time to be nice when they think something's wrong, even if it's your fault. You're not going to be able to make them happy by apologizing or asking what you can do better. They're not going to change their opinion of you, or be happy that they live with you.
The other part is that they have concerns about how they appear to people. They are not comfortable taking up space with complaints. They don't want to come across as constantly angry, or as always getting under your skin for no reason. Instead, they'd rather have their own way and put a positive spin on things. They don't want others to think that the project is doomed because the story's boring...
...We can do an experiment on ourselves. Ask your close friends to describe you. They'll probably say something like "kind, supportive, and responsible." If they're like mine, they'll end the description with some variation of "too-nice."
If you go through the same experiment with your boss or coworkers, more than likely it'll turn out differently. Instead of your strengths and virtues, you'll hear about the annoying things about you that drove them crazy in the office!
...And don't think those annoying things are all on them or their perception of you. They may be projecting their own pet peeves onto their interactions with you... You just might learn a few things about yourself from this experiment as well.
...It's not easy being a grumpy, mean person. It's not just about caring for others and making sure you're a good person. You also have to care what others think of you.
You may think that the people who bug you are self-centered jerks who couldn't see past their own nose—which is partly true! But they're also trying to be everyone's friend and taking into account how they come across to everyone in the office.
===== [END ARTICLE] [ARTICLE START] When you start working on a new project, you may not know everyone on the team yet. And chances are, there will be at least one person who rubs you the wrong way. You might find them too touchy-feely, or they might have an annoying laugh. They may never have time to chat at break time because they're always on their phone. These people may be curmudgeons with a perpetual chip on their shoulders. They may speak in angry undertones even when they're speaking to you....My title is Getting Along With Difficult People At Work, not Getting Along With Everyone At Work! Part of the reason these people are hard to get along with is that they have a strong personality. They don't have time to be nice when they think something's wrong, even if it's your fault. You're not going to be able to make them happy by apologizing or asking what you can do better. They're not going to change their opinion of you, or be happy that they live with you. The other part is that they have concerns about how they appear to people. They are not comfortable taking up space with complaints. They don't want to come across as constantly angry, or as always getting under your skin for no reason. Instead, they'd rather have their own way and put a positive spin on things. They don't want others to think that the project is doomed because the story's boring... We can do an experiment on ourselves. Ask your close friends to describe you. They'll probably say something like "kind, supportive, and responsible." If they're like mine, they'll end the description with some variation of "too-nice." If you go through the same experiment with your boss or coworkers, more than likely it'll turn out differently. Instead of your strengths and virtues, you'll hear about the annoying things about you that drove them crazy in the office! And don't think those annoying things are all on them or their perception of you. They may be projecting their own pet peeves onto their interactions with you... You just might learn a few things about yourself from this experiment as well....It's not easy being a grumpy, mean person. It's not just about caring for others and making sure you're a good person. You also have to care what others think of you. You may think that the people who bug you are self-centered jerks who couldn't see past their own nose—which is partly true! But they're also trying to be everyone's friend and taking into account how they come across to everyone in the office.
===== [END ARTICLE]
~2012/10/17~ Sourced from: http://www.tristanharris.com/index.php/2012/10/17/getting-along-with-difficult-people-at-work/?x=0&y=0
~2012/07/04~ Sourced from: http://www.tristanharris.com/index.php?module=blog&func=viewpchronicle&id=72
~2011/12/08~ Sourced from: http://www.tristanharris.com/index.php/2011/12/08/the-costs-of-being-too-nice/?x=0&y=0
~2011/11/03~ Sourced from: http://www.cellarhacks.com/?p=1547
~2010/10/05~ Sourced from: http://www.tristanharris.com/?p=1008
~2012/05/02~ Sourced from: http://www.tristanharris.com/?p=2648
If you're feeling a little shaky, it might be because you're standing on an invisible pillar and everything around you is moving in slow motion...
Conclusion
~2011/03/19~ Sourced from: http://www.tristanharris.com/?p=873
"It's like they've got a sign on their forehead that says, "I'm annoying," and they don't want anyone to know, so they keep it a secret or bury it deep."
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Related Blogs ==
~2010/09/22~ Sourced from: http://digitsinfoodie.blogspot.com/2010/09/how-to-be-a-people-person.