Good Employers Want a Balance of Assertiveness and Agressiveness . How to Cultivate that Vital Balance
What are the vital ingredients for a successful job hunt? You might think that in order to be assertive enough to stand out from other applicants, you need a touch of aggressiveness. And it can be frustrating if you aren't able but your frustration is probably misplaced. Some long-term studies reveal that people who are too aggressive do not get hired as often as those with an appropriate level of assertiveness and aggressiveness.
This blog post will explore what an optimal balance is for these two traits, how it's achieved, and why it's so important.
Assertiveness and Aggressiveness Defined
To look at these traits, let's first define exactly what they are. Assertiveness is the ability to speak up for yourself, set limits and defend your point of view. Aggressiveness is how strongly you back up your words with actions. The two traits tend to balance each other in terms of a bell curve because some people are too timid about either being assertive or aggressive in their job hunt or career. And both extremes can be disastrous for you personally and professionally. But a healthy balance of assertiveness and aggressiveness are key to getting the job offers you want, as we'll see below in what scientific research reveals about the so-called Goldilocks Principle .
How Much Assertiveness and Aggressiveness Do You Need?
When you're looking at the bell curve of assertiveness and aggressiveness, you'll notice that the majority of people fall in the middle. One study found that 60% of people in a "normal" job were in that region , while 27% were more assertive, and 13% were more aggressive. In terms of job success, people who are too assertive often lack tact or diplomacy. They can be seen as abrasive and annoying. But if you're not assertive enough, you won't be able to advocate for yourself or get your point across convincingly enough to even get an interview . To position yourself in the middle of the bell curve is to be assertive without being aggressive or overly passive.
Balance Is Key
Putting this all together, it's important to be assertive and aggressive in the appropriate amounts. But how are you going to know if you're on target? And what if you're too much one way or the other? Let's look at what long-term research suggests as well as everyday examples .
How to Achieve the Optimal Balance of Assertiveness and Aggressiveness
This section is the key to knowing if you're in that Goldilocks region . Let's look at what research has revealed about ignoring or exaggerating both extremes when it comes to these two traits.
Too much assertiveness can leave a bad impression. This is especially true in job interviews. If you interrupt or talk over the interviewer, you'll be seen as pushy and disrespectful, which makes people feel uncomfortable around you. This can also reveal your own insecurity about your skills, experience and knowledge. Being too aggressive can also have negative consequences for your career. Studies show that being too aggressive can hurt your chances of getting a job offer. If you dehumanize the interviewer in an interview, you're showing that you lack respect for him or her and what they do. You'll be seen as having no idea how to act professionally and as having stereotypical views of people in the industry, which can make employers look down on your candidacy.
So finding and maintaining the Goldilocks balance between assertiveness and aggressiveness is important for getting a good job offer one way or another. What you need to do is:
Be appropriately assertive without being aggressive . Many people think that being assertive means being forceful, rude or obnoxious to get your point across. And you can't get your point across if people don't want to listen to you. The key to being assertive in a professional way that makes an interviewer want to bring you in for a second round is to be enthusiastic, passionate, genuine and succinct. Be polite, but make sure you're the type of person who will follow up on your promises and responsibilities – even if it means backing off from the interviewer when in doubt about how much information is too much or too little.
Don't overdo it on aggressiveness either . Studies have shown that people who are too aggressive tend to have less-successful careers. You need balance here as well. Aggressiveness can be a valuable asset for an interviewer to see. It shows that you're confident and not intimidated by the competition. But if you are too aggressive, that can make people back off from you at first. If that happens, it may be hard to win them over in your interviews later on.
You need to show assertiveness and aggressiveness in the right amounts . For this reason, it's important to know how much is too much of these traits and how much is too little. If your assertiveness level is too low, you'll miss opportunities and your career will suffer because of it . But if you're too aggressive, you'll alienate people and come off as a bully. While this may not necessarily have negative repercussions, it's still not going to help you get a job offer or promotion either.
Know how assertiveness and aggressiveness are evolving in your industry . If the industry is going through a transformation or upheaval, be prepared to change with it. Education has been going through a massive reformation in recent years. Many people who have kept up with technology, such as those who have gone back to school for Information Technology or Business degrees , have the advantage over their peers right now. The reason is that aggressive behavior tends to work better for new technologies than for old ones. The more aggressive you are in your job hunt and career, the more likely you'll be to get a job offer. (More on this below in the section on how to get an interview .)
Don't be too passive . You may have heard that being too passive is a bad thing. But there's a limit to how much you can go overboard with assertiveness, so it's just as important to avoid being overly passive. Having a low "aggression" level means that you don't stand out enough during an interview or at work. You may not be seen as knowledgeable about the industry and its changes because of a lack of assertiveness in expressing yourself and asking questions .
What to Do If You're Too Aggressive, Assertive or Passive
If you're too aggressive or assertive – something you don't need to be at this age in your career – here are some changes you can make to get back in that Goldilocks region. And if you're too passive, consider these steps as well:
Learn and practice the art of assertiveness . These skills come and go just like many other things do. In the same way that being over-aggressive or overly passive can have negative consequences on your job search, so can not having learned assertiveness skills. Take a class on the subject at your local community college or teach yourself the techniques by watching videos online or reading books.
Conclusion
We see a lot of job seekers struggle with this concept. They believe that either being assertive or too aggressive is the best way and that there's no middle ground. But that's not true. There are many things to consider when you're looking for a job in 2016, and being overly aggressive or not assertive enough can hurt your chances of getting the one you want . Being assertive in the right amount and using aggressive strategies because of the industry's current needs will help you stand out among your peers while being respectful of others.
So find that Goldilocks balance between assertiveness and aggressiveness, and use these tips to help you do it.