The JV Cassanova
The JV Cassanova is someone who has a high level of interest in seducing women, but is too afraid to make the first move. Instead, he'll befriend girls with the hope that she will eventually realize how great he is and eventually want him for herself.
It's a clever strategy - one that's working at least somewhat in some cases. But it comes with dangers: By not making an active choice to pursue what you want, you're putting your happiness on the line -- as well as giving up your power. The bottom line? If you are JV Casanova, stop spending time on unrequited love and take charge!
Check out this blog post for more info: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/04/virgin-jv-casanova_n_6192578.html?utm_hp_ref=relationships
What is the JV CASSANOVA Dilemma?
Dating coach and author, Tina B. Tessina shares her tips on how to stop being the "JV" (Jerks Without) your guy's girlfriend. The "JV" or Jerk With a capital "J" is a self absorbed man who considers every woman he is with as his property. He views every woman as potential sex and nothing more. He doesn't realize that marriage is a relationship of give and take. He takes and takes, but he never gives.
Do you recognize this guy? If you do, don't feel bad. Just be honest with him and tell him that if he wants to get serious with you, he will have to be more respectful and sensitive with your feelings. And then cut bait! Let the JV Casanova dilemma begin!
The JV Casanova has a number of characteristics:
1) He's a friend first:
He doesn't date much and as such is always looking for friends to hang out with. He is friendly and does the things you do - going to the movies, clubbing with friends, etc.
He will confide in you about his sexcapades. He thinks he can get away with this because sometimes it works for him as a dating strategy to get girls that he's attracted to.
2) He has a lot of stories:
His stories are often exaggerated, long and boring. While you're bored, he's hoping that his stories will spark your attraction to him. The problem is that most women find this tactic manipulative and insulting. All you want to do is binge watch Orange is the New Black, not listen to his Sex in the City tales.
3) He'll be your shoulder to cry on:
He's a good listener and he cares about you. He can be very helpful, but he usually oversteps the boundaries of friendship by giving unwanted advice and constantly trying to fix your problems. It's nice that he cares but if you really need help with something just ask for it.
4) He is fascinated with you:
He's always dropping hints that he likes you. But as a friend only, of course! There is also flirting while making jokes. Before long, it becomes clear that he wants more than friendship from you. Once you acknowledge the flirting, he pretends that it doesn't happen.
5) He's aloof and noncommittal:
He'll crack jokes and act like nothing is happening while you wait for him to make a move. If you're interested in him, you might start dropping hints but don't expect any direct signs of interest from him. You'll need to take the lead and let him know how you feel. Then watch out! He will be overly eager to hear your findings - or so he says!
6) He's "driven":
He has a lot of things going on in his life that are more important than any woman he might date. Who knows, maybe he'll be called up for jury duty! He's also going to a lot of social functions and keeps busy as you talk about what you do.
7) He may become possessive:
He begins to make plans with you and then suddenly changes based on what he thinks you want. This can cause some frustration but don't let it get too deep or make your life miserable. The JV Casanova is not the kind of guy who will end things - he will just change his plans around so that they're not always together.
8) He has emotional maturity issues:
He never learns from his mistakes and keeps repeating them over and over again. Listen carefully and he will tell you that he doesn't want to get involved with another woman who makes him "nervous" (his word for rejection). He is afraid of being hurt and his actions reveal that he's more interested in avoiding this than dating you.
9) He's insecure:
He acts as if he thinks poorly of himself, but really what it is, is deep down lack of confidence. He acts as if his past relationships were all horrible, even if they were not.
10) He might lie:
He'll make up stories about how someone else likes you - or came on to him. He'll tell you that he's anti-social, but then come up with a thousand excuses why he can't go out with you.
11) He's insecure in his relationship:
He lets his current girlfriend down and keeps breaking promises to her. Soon his girlfriend is hurt by this and doesn't believe he's committed to her. While he might not admit it, other people notice that he is in a "shadow" of fear behind the scenes.
12) He has abandonment issues:
He acts as if you're the girl of his dreams, but when things don't work out with you, it's too late and she may have left him for someone else. As soon as he has you in a vulnerable position, where you trust him and think he is going to stick around, he will then disappear from your life.
What do I do if I'm dating an older man?
1) Understand that a man in his 40s wants different things in a relationship than a 20 year old.
Ask yourself: Is this the kind of relationship that will make me happy for the next 3-5 years? If so, proceed! If not, then ask yourself: How much time do I have left on my biological clock?
Also keep in mind: An older guy may be fun (good wine and excellent food) but they are also more complicated than younger men. If you're looking for someone easy, then go younger.
2) Use his experience to guide him:
He's done this before and knows how to make it work! Don't worry about trying to find the "right" apartment or furniture. You can do that later. For now, just take the lead and discuss how you want your life to be together.
3) He will respect you more:
Older men are raised in a different “era” than younger guys are. He has been around the block once or twice and he didn't get there by accident! Don't let his age intimidate you, but do look out for other women who may be attracted to him as well.
Conclusion:
The JV Casanova is a great guy and he might be your soul mate. He is kind, thoughtful and he's also a good friend. He can make you feel like you're the only woman in his world - but watch out, because someone always comes before you!
Stop searching for that "special someone" on the internet because they are here to start dating with u
In his book, "The Chemistry of Love", anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher says that men have evolved to fall in love through specific stages: lust, attraction, romantic love and attachment. As a result, men don't always fall in love in the same way or at the same pace as women do.
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The JV Cassanova