This is the story of Lynne and Dave.
Lynne and Dave were both born in New York, but they have very different stories. Lynne never knew who her father was. When she was a toddler he left their family, and they didn't hear from him again. Dave's dad grew up in Toronto before moving to the United States where he met his wife-to-be. He did everything for his family as a stay-at-home dad, including helping out with household chores so that she could work outside of the home.
For decades, Canadian Lynne made the difficult choice to be a single mother without financial or emotional support from her father. Dave did not know that his father supported his family financially because Lynne never told him this information.
Lynne and Dave's mothers knew each other, but they never met until their sons were teenagers. Lynne and her mom went to the same women's shelter for three months where they bonded. Once the three months were up, the women decided to stay in touch even though they had no idea where their sons would be at that point in time.
After meeting his wife-to-be, Dave wanted to family get together with her parents in Canada so he could meet kids from both sides of the family picture. Dave and his family had a great time but Lynne was resistant to make the trip to Canada. She finally agreed to meet her mom's side of the family so her mother could see her grandchildren.
The trip was not a happy one for Lynne because at the time she was going through an abusive relationship with a man who had sexually assaulted her. She didn't bring this information up to Dave or anyone in his family when she met them for the first time.
In 2017, Lynne began writing a series of tweets about having been raped as a teenager by a high school friend. Many of her tweets were along the lines of "I was raped in high school by a football player." Lynne was not trying to make this information public as it would have been during that time period. She just needed someone to listen to her and validate her pain. That is when she wrote the tweet that went viral.
After two years of being in her abusive relationship, Lynne decided that she needed to leave him and find herself again. One of the first things she did was seek out a therapist for herself and for Dave's son who was also going through an abusive relationship with his girlfriend's mother. He went to therapy with her as well.
Dave's son never knew that Lynne's mother had a relationship with his dad, which is why he found out the truth when they all connected on social media while having lunch in the same restaurant. Dave and Lynne decided that they needed to end their relationship. She wants him to go to therapy and she wants him to apologize for his actions, but he doesn't want that at all.
Lynne is back on her own after being financially and emotionally supported by her father for decades, while Dave was raised by a mom who chose to go through life without financial or emotional support from his family. One of the cliff notes that Lynne wrote to him on Facebook said, "I am not your wife. I am not your mother. I am not your slave. Got it?" He replied with, "Thank you for the information."
From Lynne's point of view, he is trying to fool 27 people who are in his close circle of friends, including his children and their partners, by pretending that nothing is wrong and everything is fine when it isn't. Because of this false front at all times, no one has tried to reach out or talk about what's going on with him.
The problem with this situation is that Dave and Lynne have never met. Lynne has only met his side of the family, not his whole family. Dave has only known Lynne for a few months after they started dating in 2017. He chose not to ask any of his connections in Canada about her because he didn't want them to know about their relationship, including his son and daughter-in-law who live there. His son and daughter-in-law had no idea that he was going through an abusive relationship until after they were married and Dave was unfaithful to both of them; thinking it was a one-time mistake.
Lynne's sister is a psychologist who knows all about Dave's life. She has expressed to Lynne in private, as well as behind Dave's back, that she is concerned about the fact that her brother-in-law is facing his midlife crisis at 50 years old. She told Lynne to keep doing whatever you're doing because it's working.
Dave is currently experiencing an identity crisis because he doesn't want to admit that he was raised by a single mother who had several abusive relationships with men and became an alcoholic, while also dealing with her own mental health issues. He has gone back and forth a few times on whether he wants to participate in therapy sessions or not because he wants other people to deal with the situation instead of him taking responsibility for his life.
Although he isn't going to therapy, Lynne will be attending her own sessions because she has her own health issues that need to be addressed. Dave is dealing with a lot of guilt because he can't get this situation out of his head and the only thing that he keeps seeing when he closes his eyes at night is the sexual assault that she suffered as a teenager.
Dave's son and daughter-in-law have been with their partner for four years, so they are going to get married soon. Dave and Lynne have not set a date or even told their families and friends about what's going on between them, which makes it very hard for them to communicate or plan something for the future. Instead of being a couple who is planning for their future together, Dave and Lynne are just going day-to-day in their own lives.
In the process of writing this book, I spoke with Lynne's sister and Dave's ex-wife. They both agreed that Lynne needed to get her story out there for others to hear because it wasn't a happy marriage for her, but it was a happy marriage for him. She does not want anyone else to go through what she went through in her relationship with Dave, that lasted one year and 10 months from start to finish. She wanted to let her side of the story be known for the posterity of everyone who lived it with her, as well as the readers who will be able to understand many situations in life.
Lynne is not interested in getting married again and she has no desire to have children again either. She did want a relationship with Dave and she found one for a short time, but he ended it just like he ended his marriage. He does not want any contact with Lynne or his family because he doesn't want to apologize for what transpired between them.
Conclusion: Lynne went through a bad situation, but she realized that she was not the only one dealing with an abusive situation. Dave needs to be aware that he has a family who is concerned about him and what's going on with him emotionally. He needs to put his sister in her place and look at his own life as well as his son's life to get some clarity about what's happening. He is not even hiding the fact that he is cheating on his fiancée, which reveals a lot about how much he really loves her.