A Favorable Juncture Of Circumstances
You're sitting in a room full of people who are laughing and throwing things at you. It's your birthday party; you've seen this movie before. You expect to have an overall good time, but there is one part of it that makes you uneasy. As the night goes on, the game becomes increasingly difficult as your guests become less and less coordinated with each new round of games. For some reason, finding peace with this situation is harder than you thought it would be because the juncture of circumstances is not exactly favorable for you, even though they seem to be fine for everyone else in the room who are playing trivia while consuming copious amounts of alcohol or eating pizza.
In this particular scenario, finding peace with the situation does not go as planned. It's hard to reconcile that you've been cheated out of happy birthday presents, a chance to make new friends and have fun, but you are fine with it because you know that there is no need for anyone to feel bad. No one can make a mistake when they are having a good time. But then again, isn't it lucky that they're not having a bad time? Maybe it is indeed lucky because it means you get to be the only one who has had a bad time. Maybe that very fact makes your experience in this game much less horrible than what others are going through in the room with you.
Perhaps this is how you should approach the situation of finding peace with a negative juncture of circumstances. If they are not having a good time, it means you're in a worse position than what they are experiencing. How do you know that others are having a bad time? Because there is no one to judge them or decide if they're happy or sad. However, at this juncture of the game, people will not know whether or not you have had a nice day. They can only assume that you did not. Therefore, they are happy, while you want to be sad. You want to be part of the group and wish that they were, but you're also not willing to contribute to their experience even if you could. Instead, you silently wish that it was your birthday and it was time for a good time. It's quite ironic that someone who does not have a good time is looking for people who are having a bad time but at the same time, someone who does not have a good time is looking for people who are sad and bad mouthing them.
You believe that your birthday will not be a good day, even if you want it to be one. Therefore, why would you force yourself to participate in a game that is making everyone else happy and feel bad? Obviously, it isn't necessary for you to get into the middle of a laughing riot especially when there is no need for you to show up. This game has been started by other players who value the experience they're getting even though none of them have considered whether or not this is a good time for you. You might wonder why they do not care about what's going on in your head, but why should they? They don't have time for thoughts like that. They are having a good time and that's what matters to them. For them, the game is working out fine.
The unexpected problem with this game that you're currently in is that it has different rules for different people. They are playing by their own set of rules and they don't seem to have any awareness of someone who might be thinking about being included in the game but can't get in because he doesn't know how to play. You're left with a choice whether or not you want to stay out of the game (if you can) just so no one thinks that you're doing something wrong. Or, you can just play along and determine how it's going to end. If they're happy, then it is not a bad time. But if they're not, you won't find any comfort in knowing that you're fine either.
However, what is sad is that the game continues on even if you don't want to play with them. It's as if the game was normal for everyone else but for people like you and them (the ones who are playing), their game is simply part of a much larger one that is solely theirs and theirs alone. No one else can partake in their game because there are no rules set upon them all. Therefore, you're left with a choice whether or not you get involved in their game and play along with them. But since it is not your game, how can you really play along and have fun with them? They are having a good time; they are laughing at the stupidest things. It looks like fun to watch, but might as well be torture for those who want to be involved in the game. You can't blame them since they haven't set rules for each other. Therefore, it is their game and no one else's. As such, there is nothing that anyone can do about this situation if they want to continue the game without interruption or change anything within the rules that they've set upon one another.
Does it really matter what they're doing while they're having a good time? It's not difficult to figure out what each one of them is doing. They are laughing and playing because they are having a good time together. They are acting as if there is a group of people playing with them, but at the same time, there is no one else involved. They know exactly how to play this game even though none of them have yet to tell anyone else how it's done. Only you know how the game should be played according to the rules that you've been taught. But since it's not your game, most people will think otherwise. Their game is simply something that they do and there are no rules. However, you don't have that option. You're stuck in the middle of their game whether you like it or not because you don't know how to play this game at all.
You'll be happy if you can just stop watching and leave the room because it's not really your birthday and everyone should be doing what they want to do on their own birthday. But at the same time, you might feel so sad that you don't want to go through with this ordeal knowing that there is nothing anyone can do about it.
Conclusion:
There is no way of knowing if you're happy or sad. Therefore, it is obvious that the people around you have no idea what is going on in your head. It's not like they know what's going on in your mind since you don't either. You've only just begun to realize that there is a big difference between playing a game and being able to play a game. Both can be fun and enjoyable, but only when you know how they are played and understand the rules that are set upon these two activities.