Are you living the Greatest Lie?
Dating is a minefield. You either stay in your comfort zone and date the same type of person over and over again, or you venture out into unfamiliar territory with an entirely new person who might not be a good fit for you. Well, which one are you doing?
What if I told you there was another option? What if I said that not only can dating teach us about ourselves and help us evolve as individuals, but dating also keeps us from living the Greatest Lie? Would this change anything?
Put off all these assumptions of what other people might think of your behavior and think about what would be the greatest truth for YOU. Your true purpose. What would be the most honest and authentic relationship you could have with another person?
Think about it. You're not living in some fairy tale, you know that, right? I've been in plenty of long-term relationships and I can tell you right now, there's no such thing as the perfect person for everyone. If there is, then I've never met him or her… So if there's no such thing as the perfect person for everyone, then the fact that we are all different should be our first step towards individuality and self definition.
It's time to start dating again! This time when we date we are going to choose ourselves first instead of "lucky" circumstances. We're going to be brave and step into the spotlight of who we want to be and not worry about what the rest of the world thinks.
Are you ready…?
How does one become brave enough to date once again?
I think that first you have to realize that dating is not just some of your friends deciding to play matchmaker. In fact, if it were just that easy, then a lot of people out there wouldn't be single or in relationships with each other. People don't just go out and date strange people that they meet. The people that are single aren't because they're just not "feeling lucky" or "thinking it's time to get back in the dating scene." No, they are single because dating is a decision you make. The fact that you think you don't want to be in a relationship doesn't mean that you won't find the right person.
If you're sitting around wishing it were easier, let me give you some advice:
The first thing I would say is anything worth doing is hard . Life would be so boring without conflict, problems and obstacles. So don't give up when things get tough.
If you are truly sick of the whole dating scene, why not try something else for a while. Start up a new hobby or become really good at something you always wanted to learn. Or maybe you're single right now because you need to focus on your career or support a child or family member. Maybe it's time that you focus on your spiritual path.
It's funny, but when I am single I don't think I am "desperate". Instead I feel like people are "desperate" to find someone who they can live with and be happy with. It's such a shame when people just settle for each other and end up miserable because they are "too scared" to be alone.
I don't think we should be so scared of being alone that we condone this kind of behavior.
If you have tried dating already and feel like there just isn't someone good out there for you, why not try looking at it from a different perspective? Maybe you're just not ready for it yet, or maybe what you're looking for is in another dimension altogether… Change your focus and look at it from every angle and I promise that if you really want to find true love then something will happen.
Look at the positive side of being single instead of negative. For example, you are never going to be accepted by someone else unless you accept yourself first. So here's the question: "Do you accept yourself?"
What if instead of wishing that there was someone out there for everyone who was single, we all kicked it into gear and started dating again, but this time instead of just saying "Hi" to people at parties or walking up to strangers at coffee shops we really focused on ourselves first?
Why not ask the person out rather than wait for them to ask you…?
Why not try something new this time around? Try having a conversation with a person and see where it goes rather than just complaining about your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. If you stop complaining about everyone around you, eventually they will start to notice.
I can't tell you how many times I have been on a date and the conversation has just stopped. That happens because we don't say anything and I think it's worth asking why. If a person doesn't want to talk and be in your company, then that's their decision. But don't worry about them, worry about YOU.
Think about all the positive things about yourself and others will notice too…
If there is an option for moving forward in life, would you choose to move forward?
The greatest lie we live is that we are not enough . We feel like we aren't good enough, pretty enough or rich enough. We look around at others and see how great their lives are and we feel like "I'll never be able to get that". It's not true!
It is our responsibility to ultimately change how we live our lives. We can't let other people do it for us. We cannot wait around for things to happen just because someone else tells us that it's okay. It's not okay . You can only make things happen if you want them bad enough.
You have everything you need inside of you right now - the ability to be happy, the ability to find love and happiness, the ability to create a life worth living. It's all there, you just have to let it out.
How do you get there? First, stop lying to yourself.
Second, visualize what it is that you want and make a plan to get it. When we finally stop looking at others we will start seeing ourselves and realize how much potential we actually have.
Take a moment and look at yourself in the mirror right now.
Conclusion:
I think we can all agree that the dating scene is tough for singles. The reason it is so hard is because our society has told us there's only one right way to do things and that's to get married and have children. This doesn't mean they are wrong, but we need to start thinking on our own terms rather than giving into what others say.