Breaking the Chains!
Even when we are good, we are bound by the chains of our own thoughts. We go round and round on the same old track, pursuing goals that lead to nothing but more disappointment.
But it doesn't have to be this way. When you recognize that you keep hitting your head against the same old wall because you're trying too hard to please other people or society's expectations or maybe even God, then it becomes clear what needs to happen next: You need to break these chains!
The key is recognizing that no matter how often things don't work out for us, we never have given up on ourselves. We don't give up on God. We don't give up on our friends. Yet there is a deep, ingrained expectation that we should be able to meet the demands of others and expectations that others are always hoping we will just live up to. These expectations are so built into the fabric of our lives that we think they are real, like gravity or oxygen: I can't change the fact my parents want me to be successful in their eyes!
I'm not suggesting this situation is easy. Our families do have high expectations for us. Society around us and even within us wants us to conform to certain standards, maybe to meet specific goals or prove ourselves as worthwhile and lovable human beings. But when we get down to it, we would all agree that allowing society to define our actions, or even worse, letting other people define us, is not the ultimate solution. We are the only ones who can decide when we have had enough of trying to please or conform.
When your family is pressuring you to follow a path that doesn't feel right for you and you keep succumbing to their wishes anyway, then you're wasting so much valuable time and energy. Obviously your parents love you, but it's possible they don't always realize what is most likely best for you. Or maybe they know, but this just isn't their own path to take in life. Sometimes when people want the best for us it's because they are themselves still in search of their own answers and find it easier to give advice based on their own past experiences rather than on what we as individuals need specifically . . . so let them!
If this sounds harsh, let me put a softer spin on it: Let your parents be your parents, not your mentors or advisors or personal trainers.
Let them share the wisdom of their experience if you think that is valuable. There is much to be learned from those who have been on this path before you. But having your own experience will always trump what anyone else has to say about your life. As long as you are open to it, life itself will guide you and teach you the lessons that come with a more natural and organic process of trial and error.
When we do things because we want others to be proud of us instead of because doing these things comes from a place inside us that feels joyous and fulfilling, then sooner or later we are going to realize that it's time for change. We have to value and respect ourselves more than we value others' opinions of us. We must be willing to break free from the expectations of our parents and family, as well as society and God himself (yes, I believe God wants us to become ourselves), in order to find out who we really are.
If you do this, there is a good chance you will end up doing what you love and what only you can do in the world. This is not always easy, but it may be that God wants us to break our chains because he sees a unique mission for each one of us.
Conclusion
Tags:
Breaking the Chains!