Civilization 4 and Why I Hate My Office Phone
I don't hate my office phone. I just hate that it's the only one in the building and that I have to answer it. It is possible to do a day's worth of work on a Xiaomi Redmi 3S, but I can't do my job from three feet away from an office phone. People keep giving me business cards so that they can get in touch with me, and every time we talk about work, it feels like a form of harassment because the person on the other end could be anything: customer service; human resources; some bored intern who has taken up all morning slinging TPS reports back and forth; etc., etc., etc.
I want to be able to do my job in peace, but that impossible. So every time someone calls me I feel a little bit harassed and annoyed, even when they are trying to help me with a problem. There are too many things that I have to do: replies, updates on social media; check email; prepare reports for clients; respond to their emails; etc., etc., etc. I know what would make my job easier: a phone that is always on and doesn't just ring with random people who have the misfortune of dialing my number.
There's a secret to avoiding all of this: get rid of the office phone. That should be my number because my private phone is on 24/7. My office phone is something that I have to turn on and off. It's a nuisance and the only reason it exists is for people like my landlord, who don't know any better, to try and harass me when I'm supposed to be at work (I'm not even mad, I just wish they knew that email was where they should reach me). Whenever someone calls, they have time to set up an appointment or send me an email before they call. It's possible for them to get my number through a Google search with a little bit of work.
If I'm not on the clock, I don't want to be bothered. It would be great if I could use my own cell phone at work and not have to worry about picking it up every time someone calls me, but unfortunately my boss refuses to let me do that. So, like some child who gets grounded from his video games and then has to go into his parent's room and watch TV instead, I have to suck it up and sit in front of the office phone all day instead of working because I haven't done anything wrong. If someone wants me bad enough, they can find me.
If I were a better person, I would answer the phone and help the caller out. If I were really good, I would even do so with a smile. But that's not me. No one is going to call me and tell me they're stranded in the desert with no water or something like that and need my help. It's not like every call is a genuine emergency and every worker on Earth has to be available 24/7. Not everyone wants something from you, but it feels that way when you work at this job.
The problem is that people think they have the right to disturb me just because they have my number. I don't want to talk to anyone other than my friends and family members. There's no reason for me to answer the phone because they're not calling specifically for me. Either they're call is part of a group project, which means someone else has the right to speak on their behalf, or it's work related, in which case there should be no expectation that I will pick up the phone on my way somewhere important. I just want to be able to walk down the street without getting called about some minor issue that could wait until that evening. If I have something that is more important to do, life doesn't stop for me because a random stranger wants something from me.
(I will add, however, that I do like to be reached if there's an emergency. If I'm in the middle of a project and get a call that I need to drop everything and head back to the office right away, or if there's a fire and someone needs my help, or if my car breaks down unexpectedly on the way home from work and I've lost my keys – all valid reasons.)
I know that people who work in an office don't have it easy. They're stuck in a room with other people every day trying to concentrate. There's no escaping it. I can't just go to a coffee shop and work there because I need access to my servers. So I have to sit in front of my three feet of office space and hope that I'm not going to be bothered. It's easier for me because I can use headphones if necessary, or work from the comfort of my home. But if you're stuck in an office, you need a good phone that is on all the time, or at least an office phone with a voicemail function so you don't have to pick up every call that comes your way just because someone pressed 773-444-4444 by accident.
Oh well. All I can do is wait for some kind of new technology to make it possible for me to work in peace. Until then, I will just have to suffer through answering the same questions over and over again, being asked about random issues that someone would know about if they were doing their job right and not relying on me, etc., etc., etc.
(Yes, I'm still working on this article. Why do you ask?)
(No, I'm not going to tell you what I'm writing.)
(Yes, I am going to stop writing this article.
Conclusion: I'm always available to talk. I don't have to be in my office to answer the phone. It's all a big conspiracy to make me feel guilty for being a workaholic.)
– John "orney" Anderson
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